You are right to back off. But don't invite her to the Rockets game. Really back off. Find someone else to invite. Still talk about the Rockets with her, and even mention you are going to a game soon, so that you can build on that common interest, but don't invite her, and don't call her. Telling her she kicks ass one time too many isn't going to make or break anything. If she loses interest in you because of one too many comments like that, then she wasn't really what you wanted after all. Just be casual, and do things without her until she brings up the idea.
Slow it down big man, slow it down... but seriously, she knows you just broke up and doesn't want to be the rebound...However, you have to make her feel comfortable and not let on like your crazy about her...yeah, the games people play, but its apart of life...I suspect she's into you too, but you have to recover quickly like having her hang out with you again and play it off like you have a great time with her and can't wait to see her again, but not in a psycho stalker kinda way... The only thing i know is that all women are different and all give different signs about how they want to proceed...In the end, just go with what's in your heart and be yourself... Good luck...
The relative degree of 'kicking ass' depends on the perspective and expectations of the kickee. cwebbster says "hot chick kicks ass"
Allright, updated information The day after the date, which would have been on Sunday, she called up Mike, the dude who basically set the both of us up. He told me that she said "I had the greatest time of my life, this guy is so much fun, he made me laugh....blah blah." But she also told him "He told me that he tought I was one of the coolest girls on the planet, why would he think that?" From what I gather is, or maybe you guys can give a second opinion, is that she may not have alot of self confidence or something. She was very talkative at the bar, and was very fun to be around, thats why I said the two of our personalities were very much alike. But, as many of you have said, maybe she doesn't take well to compliments. Maybe I was so used to having a girlfriend, that I felt no wrong in telling this one those things. I dunno, I have talked to her since then, but it was breifly on the phone. She hasn't been to class either this week so far, hope I am not the reason for that.
I don't think she lacks confidence. I still think it's just that you moved too fast. Remember what she said before- "Slow down buddy, your acting weird, quit telling me that I am so great" She's annoyed that you don't really know her and you are already practically in love with her. Before jumping into relationship mode she wants you two to get to know each other. That's my $.02 anyways.
At this phase, you might want to take matters to the opposite extreme. Slip something into her drink and while she's passed out, impregnate her. Then she HAS to have you involved in her life. I'm kidding... I'M KIDDING! -- droxford
Sounds like good advice here. When a guy gets too interested in us, too fast, and starts paying us too many compliments or hanging around too close, we go into panic mode. Some little internal alarm goes off. I don't know what it is - do we have such low self-esteem that we don't recognize or appreciate it when someone actually likes us, and prefer those who don't care that much? Possibly. But I think there's a more logical answer, too. If a guy seems interested in you, really falls hard for you, and you haven't gotten to know him that well yet, you'll think, "Why did he pick me? Does he even know me that well? He just thinks I look pretty. That's superficial. Or he's projecting all his own hopes, dreams, and desires onto me. How's he going to feel when he really gets to know me? Or when he comes out of the emotional phase he's in and faces reality?" Maybe it seems harsh... but I don't blame her if she wants to be careful, especially since (if I remember right) you could be seen as being on the "rebound". It doesn't look like all is lost here. She has some interest. Just play it cool and keep a little more distance... try to ask her to go somewhere with you, but hold back on the compliments... and I bet pretty soon she'll be wanting those compliments back. (Though maybe something more romantic than "kick ass", since many guys would use that for a just-friends type girl.)
i have a different theory. i think when a guy comes on to strong in an emotional way, women take note because instictually they realize that there really isn't enough info for such a strong reaction, hence he's desperate. how is a desperate man going to take care of a woman? it's all caveman **** really.
Weird thing happened today, apparently some guy claming to be her "boyfriend" called me and my friend Mike today and told us that if we were to ever go around his girl, that he would kill us. How gay is that? I honestly don't think she knew this guy did this, cause this girl does not seem that immature to allow something that r****ded to take place. Should I confront her about it, or should I just let that one go?
Ask her - don't "confront" her. She might have put the guy up to it as a way of getting out of it w/ you...
Personally, now that I'm older, I really don't feel any need to rush ANYTHING. I don't mind being patient because I have my own life and I don't really NEED anyone in it. If I WANT someone in it, that's a different story and, ultimately, I think the best way to have a relationship anyway. It seems to me that the feeling of being with someone out of a desire just to share his/her company must be a more attractive quality than an approach that seems driven by neediness. I think both genders have a real appreciation for those who have a strong sense of self and emotional stability. What I've started to feel like - for myself and this is certainly different for everyone - is that I would prefer there to be a certain level of casualness to a first or even second date. There is something comforting about not having the pressure of being overly romantic or trying to read visual and emotional cues to see what the next move is. I think it also helps for both people to see if a romantic spark exists and, if so, a few dates is enough to not only reveal it but propel you beyond just polite superficialities. I will say that I have very mixed emotions about dating, though. Part of it is fun and the spark that comes from meeting someone new and hitting it off is always a good feeling. But, another part of it is awkward, uncomfortable and downright annoying.
i didn't read through all 3 pages so i may be rehashing some stuff. anyhow, women aren't deaf. all you gotta do is compliment them once. they'll remember. the problem is complimenting them all the time. that's what every sucker does. it's nothing new to her (especially, if she's hot). then, she'll see you as every other moron that she's dated. as a matter of fact, they are more interested when you DON'T compliment them. then they'll start thinking, "what's wrong with me?" soon enough, it's them trying to get your approval, not you.
Just ignore it. If she doesn't know about it and you tell her, she might think you are trying to make this guy look bad, or maybe she'll think your jealous.
If I had a search function I would look up a past thread that would tell you everything you need to know about fighting this mystery man.
Excellent, Jeff. When I met my future lifetime sweetie, I thought she was hot (she was!), but I was in a good place in my goofy life, and if I felt an immediate physical attraction... well, it had happened plenty of times before. I didn't come on strong at all. The first time we kissed, as I was leaving her place, standing at the door, it just turned into such a pasionate moment, that I could have easily made love to her, standing up, there in the doorway. (she told me later that she felt the same way) But I just smiled, and said I'd talk to her soon. I was lucky. I was living over by Hermann Park, in a garage apartment, and she moved into a very large duplex, with a bunch of girls who were all going to UH, right in front of my place. Even with the proximity, I played it very cool. I could go on for several paragraphs about how things played out, but I'll spare everyone. cwebbster, just be cool. Come on too strong, and you'll just push her away. This "ex" of her's sounds very uncivilized. Be careful. That could be why she's being a bit cautious herself. Good luck.
