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[Need Help] quarter life crisis?

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by LCAhmed, Sep 13, 2013.

  1. rocketsjudoka

    rocketsjudoka Member

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    In your early 30's you still have a lot of time. What is more important than money is experience and if you live like a monk while young yes you will more likely find yourself rich later on but you also might've missed out on a lot of things. I am in my 40's and while yes I probably should've saved more money I find my biggest regret is not traveling more (backpacking, staying in hostels, roughing it, and yes sleeping with more girls in hostels) when I was in my 20's and early 30's, and I'm someone who has traveled a fair amount.

    This is particularly important now because tomorrow I am leaving to go and hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. I've been planning this for 8 months now and am doing it with 3 other good friends. Because I am going on this trip though I've already lost two potential projects but I am figuring at this point if I don't do this now I might never be able to do this. 10 years from now I know that I will regret not hiking to Machu Picchu more than making a few thousand dollars drawing architectural details.
     
  2. rocketsjudoka

    rocketsjudoka Member

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    Just to follow up on my above post. This is all about finding balance and I am not recommending blowing all your money, not working and going deep into debt but about finding the balance where you can plan for the future while not missing out on all the great experiences you can have.

    For me material possessions aren't that important. I don't need to drive a fancy car, wear fashionable clothes or hang out at expensive night clubs. That is where I save money. What is important to me is experience and I am willing to spend money to watch the sunset over the Indian Ocean and watch the Moon rise over Zion National park. Those are things that I am going to remember far more than what car I drove or how much money I saved.
     
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  3. macalu

    macalu Member

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    agree. if you're gonna spend money do it on experiences, not things.
     
  4. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Member

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    Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.
     
  5. da_juice

    da_juice Member

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    I feel the same way, even though I could care less about what car I drive. I'm a few years younger, and it just kind of seems that life is dull for the gross majority of people. We go to school, so that we can go to college, so that we can get a job, so that we can afford to live, then we die. There's no point to it all, and it all just seems so mindless and drab.

    That's not to say it's always bad, I have friends and still find ways to enjoy myself from time to time, but there's a lot more dull, waiting or being unhappy then there is being happy.

    I think a trust fund would help guys like us, LCAhmed. Any child-less billionaires on here?
     
  6. Big MAK

    Big MAK Member

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    Brah, I hear you on the quarter life crisis. I just turned 30 (so I guess 1/3 life crisis for me).
    After working a couple years I bought a 335i. Loved it, and love BMWs in general. Awesome car, great speed and handling. However, it was expensive to fix and after it was paid off, I wondered 'is it really worth it?'
    So, I traded it in for a Kia and now devote my time and money to more 'important' things like hobbies and travel. I've been traveling as much as possible, playing the guitar, photography, golf, beer making, going to local band concerts, etc etc.

    So, imo, you'd be better off spending your money picking up some hobbies that you can carry with you through life. A nice car is only a quick fix to a dull life. If a nice car is a must, pick up the hobby of rebuilding a retro car or something.
     
  7. GanjaRocket

    GanjaRocket Member

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    smoke some weed and find out what you really want
     
  8. Nook

    Nook Member

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    This advice is very true. I didn't believe it when I was in my mid 20's, but after reaching some of my external goals, it became obvious that I wasn't really happy. Family, experiences, challenges and adversity are what make life worth living.
     
  9. Panda23

    Panda23 Member

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    Fix your body. People focus so much on superficial things (not just seemingly you, ALOT of people) and fail to take care of your body. Get fit, get in the groove of going to the gym, and EVERYTHING will change. Nothing wrong with a bit of quiet arrogance.
     
  10. GanjaRocket

    GanjaRocket Member

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    change your body for non-superficial reasons
     
  11. CometsWin

    CometsWin Breaker Breaker One Nine

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    Instead of a new car, get a trainer. Learn how to work out and start creating healthier habits now when it's much easier to do.
     
  12. HOUSTONJS

    HOUSTONJS Member

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    When I had that early down slump, I went through a phase of reliving some of the things I liked to do during my childhood. I watched cartoons and played pokemon (On the gameboy, not that trading card bull). Glad I got over that
     
  13. supdudes

    supdudes Member

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    I'm not going to give you any tips, but I will list a few names. You should consider what these people have to say on life and how you can find happiness in it.

    Alan Watts
    Bill Hicks
    Les Brown
    Joe Rogan
    Elliot Hulse

    Give these guys a youtube search. I promise you won't be disappointed.
     
  14. CCorn

    CCorn Member

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    You're probably just tired of league city. I can't stand the place anymore. Change can be a good thing.

    When you get your MBA go work somewhere else for a year or two. Meet new people, find out more about yourself. Your parents place will be there for you when you get back.

    We can go grab a bite one day and b**** about how awful life is even though we're both doing much butter than majority of our graduating class. This stupid glass cage called league city is depressing!

    You have a nice car. Don't worry about that. I bet most people our age go through minor depression. It's weird becoming an adult.
     
  15. Asian Sensation

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    Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and FunYuns.
     
  16. Richie_Rich

    Richie_Rich Member

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    Lots of interesting advice and life experiences.

    My early to mid 20s were fun and fast but lived entirely without purpose. Part of it had to do with not having much as a kid (single parent upbringing) because my family was quite poor. But most of my early adulthood was reckless -- and spent without purpose -- because I was a selfish punk who didn't understand the meaning of life.

    Is quality of life really about pursuing wealth, finding hobbies, traveling the world, buying a home, starting a family, etc.?

    [warning: pretty long post]

    Computers came really easy for me as a kid, and so I decided to drop out of college in order to pursue MCSE / Cisco certifications. This would have been around 1996-97. It wasn't long before I landed an IT Infrastructure position with Union Carbide/Dow Chemical. The work was challenging enough (SAP Global Implementation); the salary + benefits were well beyond anything I expected to earn as a 21 year old. Life was good.

    Weekends were spent fine dining and bar hopping in Houston's burgeoning nite scene. But more often, my better experiences were spent in Vegas, LA, NYC, etc with my buddies. While in Vegas, I made a ton of "friends" and connections -- especially once I joined the Emperor's Gold Club at Caesar's. Everything was moving fast, and I should've been having the time of my life -- except I was absolutely miserable.

    There had to be more to life than this. I was going through an average of 5 relationships/yr. Didn't care. I was selfish. Life was about growing as a professional and having fun -- screw serious relationships. I loved my freedom.

    Then one day the music stopped and I was left without a chair. My IT position became 'redundant' (after a corporate merger) so I decided to accept the severance package and took about a year off from work. During this time I travelled the country and played as many golf courses as I could (the best, by far, being Pebble Beach). This 'excitement' also passed. Not long after, I decided to downsize (sold the house) and moved into a small condo. Being 25, I decided it was time to get smart about finances, and life in general. Things slowed down quite a bit and I didn't it mind at all. It was refreshing, actually.

    I reinvented myself and decided (after heeding some friendly advice) to get into sales. Wow, did things open up financially. This time I was going to be smarter, I thought. So I decided to settle down and find meaning in a serious relationship. Again, my life was about to be tested in ways I couldn't imagine. I was actually in love for the first time in my life. This is it, I thought. This is what life is about -- marriage, kids, etc. Little did I know she had been cheating on me for over 2 years. I was so crushed that I contemplated just giving up on life. It was that serious for me.

    That's when my life changed forever. I realized I was lost. I realized I had no idea of what I was doing. I had no clue of who I was.

    Identity (self awareness) is very powerful knowledge. Without this knowledge, understanding of purpose cannot be possible. Without purpose, life has no meaning; and you fail to meet your true destiny. Ignorance is where suffering and despair find their root.

    For me, I found my identity and my ultimate destiny in the discovery and power of the Creator. It's not necessary for me to say much more than this. For those who are truly seeking, they'll find their strength and confidence resting in Him. Once they accept this peace in their souls, they'll finally understand who they really are and live a full life worthy of it.

    I'll be 38 years old very soon. I've travelled the world. Spent months in the Northern Luzon mountain province of the Philippines delivering medical aide to indigeonous tribes. Founded and led teams of Search & Rescue (SAR) specialists and emergency medical responders (surgeons, medics, nurses) into earthquake-torn Port-au-Prince (Jan 2010-12). Developed joint ventures in India and Dubai (UAE), capitalized by $55MM in export financing, in order to develop 'green' solar-powered, water purification plants, potable water stations, and panelized housing in East Africa. I'm not sharing this info to brag or draw attention to my achievements. Believe me, my 'achievements' pale in reward when compared to the thousands who are impacted by them. At the end of the day, we (my global development team) invest much more in making rewarding, lasting friendships, than dwelling on self-aggrandizing accomplishments.

    Today, I live in beautiful San Francisco, and share the 'riches of life' with my best friend and love of my life, Kimberly. We live humbly and give back more than we receive. We are not activists, nor do we engage in liberalism or politics, for that matter. We don't 'evangelize'; we believe in demonstrating our faith by how we live and what we do. More than anything, we are passionate about life and those who value it.

    Keep searching, my friend. You'll find the answers you seek. Just be honest and committ to the changes you want to see. Start with yourself first.
     
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  17. ILoveWhiteGirls

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    Trim bonsai trees and learn karate.
     
  18. macalu

    macalu Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  19. Shroopy2

    Shroopy2 Member

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    Its tough FOR EVERYONE. Its ABSOLUTELY NOT just you. (Not that you were thinking it, just saying). Feeling not in balance should NOT be anything to take to heart. Very few people know what theyre doing all the time.

    Got a lot of people trying to make it look like they got it all figured out. But plenty dont.

    (Especially this social media age, everyone only showing their good side, the "success theater". But theres plenty FAIL that goes on behind the scenes.)

    I really think people simply make a firm decisive decision that theyre gonna like what they like, do what they do and stop trying to analyze WHY they should be liking it.

    The only thing in the end that really matters is health, being relatively active dont be a lonely coach potato, having enough money to live off of, producing offspring to rear like what we're evolved to do. And then just making a decision that you can get happiness from anything, and you can PROVIDE happiness to others in everything as well.

    Basically, just say F**k the STANDARD - Maybe Im not THERE but I WILL get there, and ill ENJOY the PROCESS ITSELF of getting there. (so youre not too much self loathing) And that can apply to pretty much anything.

    Its like Jimmy Fallon of all people said, happiness is a choice. It doesnt have to be circumstance
     
  20. LCAhmed

    LCAhmed Member

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    Yes, becoming an adult is not what I was promised. I'm learning a lot of my expectations on life were set way to high.

    As mentioned before, I have high expectations on life. Honestly ever since I graduated high school, life has been one disappointment after another. I was promised the world, but I was given New Jersey. I've always wanted to have my life be set or going great. In fact, it was (and maybe still is) to a point where if I am not doing as well as someone, I feel that I have failed. My parents fed me this idea that I was smarter and better than mostly everyone, and that I should be able to succeed and exceed expectations EASILY. So whenever I struggle with something, I feel like a failure.
     

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