[Need Advice] - Girlfriend going through a difficult time

Seems like such a waste of money to go to a club if you (or both of you) are having financial and other problems.

Oh yeah, and if owning 600 bucks on a CC is worrying her, perhaps try eating cheaper, ie. buy groceries and make meals instead of going out to eat.

But hey, it's your lives and money.

 

If your parents are letting you live at home to save money, are they okay with you spending ~$600 on your girlfriend for her birthday? Not that it's really any of their business, but that just seems like so much for a birthday for someone relatively young. I would seriously hate it if my boyfriend spent that much on me right now. It would almost be insulting in a way. Idunno.

 

You remind me of my brother who gets in situations. He's does well for himself, and his last couple of GFs have been less fortunate. Perhaps it's in his nature, but he ends up taking them in and helping them out.

If that's how you work, then you do what you wanna do man. I guess I'm just different. Heck, I'm married and I don't like having to help pay off my wife's school loan, haha!

If you think this girl is one you'll be with a long time, then help her out. Her debt will inevitably be yours. If you aren't really sure about the long term deal, then just be her boyfriend. Money should not come up in conversations between someone you are just dating basically.

 

What you gonna drink? Water? This ain't Red Lobster son. You tip at least 25%. Oh and she's gonna milk you for everything so expect to order appetizers.

...and no free parking.

 

Are we comparing credentials now? Rock3t Man will compare advice and pick what he thinks sounds most wise. I think you fixation on getting played would keep his girlfriend at arm's length and destroy intimacy in his relationship. Worrying about the balance of accounts will damage his longterm happiness. She's not a trick he picked up at the club. So, I don't think it's good advice.

(I've been married 10 years, if you're still wondering.)

 

I know people like this. They tend to get screwed over big time. Normally it's only worse for girls with this mentality.

 

Not comparing anything. Asking an honest question. You response was one of a man who had never been with a lady. I do not know how old you are. Seeing as you have been with one, How can you say it is idiotic for a women to play a man? You know your wife has gotten you at some point in ten years. Its just what they do. Its just a matter of how big of a drama queen they wanna be about it. That is the criteria you use to weed them out when you are young.

 

Yeah sucks.

As for the OP, another thing to consider is if this is a long term deal, how important is family to you. Your parents seem to care a lot about you and your future. Her parents, not so much. This matters b/c if you guys get married, how's that engagement and wedding going to work out? Only one side really supporting the marriage?

What about children if that's in the plans? Only one set of grandparents?

Holidays? Only one side?

This is why I say, sometimes, love is simply not enough.

 

Why? Because I don't like to make a big deal out of my birthday. Whoopty f-cking sh-t, I'm a year older. My birthday is this month in fact, and I hope it slips under the radar for the most part. It's basically like any other day. Last year, I told my boyfriend that we didn't need to go out. I just wanted to have dinner at my parent's house. No big deal. It's not about the $ amount, it's just about the thoughtfulness of the gift. I mean, yeah, I'd be disappointed if I didn't get -anything- from him, but I don't get the whole assigning a dollar amount to something. We're in our early to mid 20s. We don't need to blowing that kind of money of birthdays. You can have a good time for way less than $600.

 

I've been married for 28+ years. My wife has never played the "drama queen" or "gotten me", nor I her. We have an honest relationship. We don't have to play games in order to get the other to do something they may not want to do. Generally, that's what happens in a long term relationship.

 

You're saying, pulling on a person's emotions to manipulate him to do something he might not otherwise do? Then, I suppose so. I do that to my wife, my children, my boss, my coworkers, my family, Rock3t Man, someone -- every day. I'm not saying it is idiotic (a word I regret using) to think it is happening; I'm saying it is not constructive to worry about it. If you are preoccupied with protecting yourself, you will have a hard time in your relationships. I'd think this 2-year old relationship is worth more than $300.

I don't see much about her being a drama queen. She's worried unnecessarily about a very small debt. I'm not surprised a young person would be frazzled by a debt she can't seem to control and that she'd rather give up and get bailed out than to fight through the circumstance (especially given her other stresses regarding school, work, parents, shelter, etc). I don't think that's an indication that she's a drama queen; just that she's young and doesn't have the experience or confidence to see herself through. Maybe it's too patronizing a position for me to take. But, I remember being young and incapable of overcoming simple life challenges. I've taken bail-outs from others. It didn't increase my appetite for more. It made me want to get into a position where I can bail others out instead of them bailing me out.

 

just tell her..

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Problem solved. DD can pay for your gf's $600 bill. He said $600 is nothing implying it's just chump change to him. If it's just change, who wouldn't help out a fellow bbs'er?

 

maybe DD has his own business. $600 is chump change to me if faced with that similar situation but I would be wise to think it over before handing over the money. Gotta make sure you know where the money is going and that she's serious about getting her life together.

 

I would like to put it between her Gaga's.

 

oyeah

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