[Need Advice] - Girlfriend going through a difficult time

Seconded. Find a new girlfriend.

If you can not see the red flags, at least listen to those of us who have a few years, girlfriends, and marriages on you.

 

Obvious Answer

First, Give her the $600 and then I'll give her the Ann Hathaway!

 

Pshh, I'm hardly a high roller. I'm just so far in debt from college that if I were to ever get down to 600 I would pull a back flip (which would probably break my face on the floor.)

It'll get paid off eventually. She should see a financial counselor at her school.

 

she can come live with me......

plz post pix

 

Well, that gives me a completely different perception, a more forgiving, understanding one at that.

None-the-less, and contrary to what others says, there is nothing wrong with paying somebody's bill directly...I do it all the time with family and friends.

Personally, I'd promise to make a number of her payments as a bd gift and then play it month to month. If you pay it all at once, she could hit the lotto tomorrow and find another citizenship (j/k). Still, though, you don't have to pay it all at once.

Good luck to you and your gf.

-

 

to some people that's a lot..hell, i have money and to me it's a lot...

I would write a check directly the the Credit card company $100 (so she can be responsible for the rest) and then take her out to a quite dinner for two...let her know you care and don't be afraid to ask for help...HOWEVER, i do agree this can set a bad precedent but you'll be able to tell when she asks for money after sex...

 

Another point on the recipient of cash: this money is to pay for a credit card bill. Even if you pay money directly to the company, that still backs her away from her credit card limit and enables her to spend more on her card. So, it makes no difference if you give the money to the company.

 

Do you know how little $600 on a credit card is? I mean, really? Do you know how many friends I have who have no steady job at all, who have been trying for a good year, and owe upwards of $50k for college? Most of them are barely subsisting on freelance work and/or taking weekend cleaning jobs at rich people's houses, etc.

THOSE people should be worrying. This girl shouldn't.

Drama. Queen. Step away...

 

Some people might laugh at your $50k debt. Doesn't make it any less for you.
My brother is a doctor and he owes $500k. Maybe you're the drama king?
Or maybe $50k is a lot to you and $600 is a lot to her.

 

I agree with your whole post except for the end. The girl's obviously going through a lot and is under a lot of stress, this is just the final straw of sorts. It's refreshing to see someone worried about $600 instead of spending like there's no tomorrow.

 

I'm not sure why this comment really irritated me when I first read it. Anyway, it's PHARMACY TECHNICIAN in training. You need 4 years of graduate school to be a pharmacist.

As for your friend....the club party may not work too well. She can spend less money and have a great time, or maybe yall can just go to the club and buy drinks for her.

 

I agree with this. Just pay $100 towards her bill as a birthday gift and then take her out.

If she really wants to see her friends just have a get together at your place.

 

I think it's a good sign that she's worried about $600 in debt. Most people don't see the sharks until they get in the deep end.

 

lmao

well done

 

count me in as another one glad to see someone trying to take care of their debt.

seriously, i dont see anything wrong with what shes asking. shes probably feeling low about herself about her situation, and shes thinking she going to live it up in some club, like some carefree high roller for her birthday, and deep down shes probably feeling a bit uncomfortable and hypocritical. i know i wouldnt feel good about having to pretend everythings fine n great for one night but then again im not a club type.

a question to some of you. would your response be any different if instead of a gf, it was a guy who youre friends with and you know for some time and hes going through some of her difficulties. maybe im reading it wrong, but some of the responses sound to me like you guys are anti-women.

just give her the money.

 

She seems to have the right mindset. Pay off debt, and don't spend money you don't have on needless things. I'd worry more if she just blew off her debt obligation.

 

Dude...

I don't have $50k debt. And if I did, I wouldn't be worried, because I have a steady, salaried job, with lots of job security even in this economy. And you're not the only one who knows people who are up around $500k.

But I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about friends without anything resembling steady jobs who are $50k (or more) in debt, vs. a girl who DOES have a job (even if it's near minimum wage), and $600 in debt.

I'm not blind to the whole "it's a matter of perspective" thing. But the fact remains that $600 should not be a big deal for anyone who is not:
A. 10 years old, and/or
B. Has no means of steady income at all (which is unfortunately where a lot of my aforementioned friends stand. We're talking "I literally don't know where my next rent payment and/or school loan payment is coming from.")

You can talk about perspective all you want, but the fact remains that $600 is one rent payment. It's one emergency dental surgery (not even). It's one car repair. It's nothing. It's a situation a good half of the population of America could find themselves in on any given day. If she's reaching for handouts when she's $600 in debt, she's going to have a tough time in the real world. It's a credit card, for god's sake! Don't tell me she can't make $25 payments!

I gave my best friend $1500 to cover some legal fees a number of years ago. Just gave it away. I'm not asking for it back. It might help for a month, a year, but in the long-term, you can't go around trying to save people from their financial situations. It's just a bad idea. Period. I don't give away money like that anymore.

It's good that it's on her mind and that she wants to pay it off.

It's bad that she feels the need to ask for money in a situation she should easily be able to handle herself.

If she's asking for money now, then what happens when she has 100 times that in debt? Or even just 10 times? You don't think she'll be flashing the doe eyes again, if it worked the first time?

Been there, done that. Set the boundaries right now. If she doesn't like it, she gets kicked to the curb.

The very maximum you should be considering doing here is giving her a low- or no-interest loan. But do not give money away. A birthday party is something that falls in the realm of boyfriend responsibility. Paying her debts doesn't. Period.

 

Perhaps because you are "The Pharmacist"

 

+1

Give her the money. She's feeling the strain of debt and even though it is small you some, she doesn't like the feeling and wants it to go away. That's a good thing.