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[Need Advice] - Girlfriend going through a difficult time

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Rock3t Man, Feb 3, 2009.

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  1. Rock3t Man

    Rock3t Man Member

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    I know 600$ means nothing to some, regardless of how much it is, the main problem is her having to stay at a friends house, where everyday she feels unwanted and pressured to leave.

    But considering the expenses that are piling up it is outrageuos, it was originally more but since last semester she has been paying it off preety consistently. The main idea is she is seeking to attend a University asap and not wait a year to get on her feet. The most difficult part is she is not a U.S. citizen nor a resident, but she is authorized by the government to work and attend school, so imagin every year she has to cough up 400-650 dollar every end of the year to pay for renewal of her authorization until the process of her getting her residency is complete.

    So what is happening is

    1.) I helped her pay for the Work Authorization at first and she payed me back in full
    2.) She graduated High School and she received 2,000 in scholarships, she used that to pay for books and courses(just enough for 1 year), she is ahead of the core curriculum and has completed her 60 hours 3.8 and enrolled in Honor Society
    3.)Then she got a job to pay for the second semester and renewal of Work Autorization, so far she has managed to pay both, but owes a little of falls payment and spring semester.
    4.) So then she was kicked out of her house, moms a drunk and step dad same. Stayed with her friend and now is working to pay off debt in hopes that she can save for University (Federal Loans do not apply to her as she is not a Citizen or Resident, she must apply for Private Loans.)or at least move out of her friends.

    Sorry for long post, Thanks Again guys, and Anne Hathaway will not fix this!(Lol)
     
    #21 Rock3t Man, Feb 3, 2009
  2. RocketRaccoon

    RocketRaccoon Contributing Member

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    I was feeling all soft and such until I read this:

    Instead I would prefer you give me whatever you're going to spend so I can pay my Credit Card

    Like someone said, pay her card, BUT NO CASH OR CHECKS TO HER.
     
    #22 RocketRaccoon, Feb 3, 2009
  3. Kyakko

    Kyakko Member

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    you should pay the debt yourself but make sure you don't do it as a habit. if you lend money to her next time, make sure you make it clear it's a loan because she can get use to you giving her money. you'll make a gold digger out of her.

    when i was 18, i had a ticket and didn't really have the money to pay for it. it doubled in 3 months, then doubled again after it went to collections. i ended up paying 700 dollars for a 200 dollar ticket. it would've been nice to start out college without collections calling me every day.
     
    #23 Kyakko, Feb 3, 2009
  4. danny317

    danny317 Member

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    i guess you wont have to worry about her wasting the money. sounds like shes a hard worker.

    id help her out but make sure you write the check to the credit card company and not to her.

    then take her out to mickey d's. you cen let her supersize and get cheese. :D
     
    #24 danny317, Feb 3, 2009
  5. Rock3t Man

    Rock3t Man Member

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    Quick Correction, she didnt say give me whatever, she actually said something like, "I would rather you use the money your going to spend to help me pay my credit card" if that helps any, not trying to cover for her.

    I have been with her for well over 2 years
     
    #25 Rock3t Man, Feb 3, 2009
  6. Yonkers

    Yonkers Member

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    Something doesn't quite jibe. She's here with her mom. She's been through high school here. But she's not a resident?
     
    #26 Yonkers, Feb 3, 2009
  7. DonnyMost

    DonnyMost Member
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    Run..
     
    #27 DonnyMost, Feb 3, 2009
  8. JuanValdez

    JuanValdez Member

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    1. If you're going to give her the money, give it to her, not the credit card company. I don't know why everyone is advising you pay the company directly. She's not a panhandler in the street who might spend your spare change on drugs. If your relationship is good enough that she can ask for $600, and that you can actually pay for her debt, then it should be good enough that you can trust her to do what she says she will do with it.

    2. From what you've told us, she has no reason to be stressed about $600. Since she's getting a job, she should be able to pay it down over a couple of months. She shouldn't be frazzled by the big number; it's okay to carry debt for a little while; she just has to steadily pay it down. I owe something like 300 times as much and only earn perhaps 5 times the salary.
     
    #28 JuanValdez, Feb 3, 2009
  9. Rock3t Man

    Rock3t Man Member

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    Its more complicated than what it seems, she is in the U.S. legally, take my word for it. The point is that her "parents" never took action so she took it upon her self to get her residency, through report cards, and othe records that are legit accoring to the government, Very long process.
     
    #29 Rock3t Man, Feb 3, 2009
  10. Rocket River

    Rocket River Member

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    Correct
    This is decision time.
    Cause if you go down this path .. . .expect to continue it
    Also
    Trust and beleive. . . if you give her the money . . while she might not say it now
    she will still expect *something* else for her Birthday . . .

    If she is THE ONE . . then do what ya gotta

    If you are unsure . . put your cape away Captain

    Rocket River
    . . I'm just a bitter old man .. so take it for what it is worth
    *grin*
    Also - Google: PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
     
    #30 Rocket River, Feb 3, 2009
  11. Fatty FatBastard

    Fatty FatBastard Member

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    No it isn't. My girl became a resident over the summer.
     
    #31 Fatty FatBastard, Feb 3, 2009
  12. mleahy999

    mleahy999 Member

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    Knock her up. This takes care of the residency and housing issue. And since you're paying her bills, file as "head of household" and claim that exemption.
     
    #32 mleahy999, Feb 3, 2009
  13. Zion

    Zion Member

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    Your girl sounds responsible (assuming you are telling us everything). I think you pay half the CC bill and let her take care of the rest herself. That way you help her out but she is not completely devoid of responsibility. As everybody has already said, $600 is really not that much if you have a decent job ($8 -$9 /hr).

    If you are serious about her and you trust her (which i guess you should if you are serious about her) then just give her the money don't pay the CC company yourself. However you haven't said anything about her moving in with you if she is so uncomfortable where she is. So maybe it's not serious, or there are other factors?
     
    #33 Zion, Feb 3, 2009
  14. Angkor Wat

    Angkor Wat Member

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    Sorry for not being the high rollers you guys are. $600 is a lot to many people. Especially for somebody who is going through college who can't depend on mommy and daddy for every dime. But since its not a big deal to you guys, can yall write me a $600 check? That is not a typo by the way. :D
     
    #34 Angkor Wat, Feb 3, 2009
  15. pmac

    pmac Member

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    it ain't trickin' if you got it!
     
    #35 pmac, Feb 3, 2009
  16. Surfguy

    Surfguy Member

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    IMO, $600 is a lot of money to spend on your gf's birthday. But, that's just me. How much for a friend's birthday? Can I be your friend? ;)
     
    #36 Surfguy, Feb 3, 2009
  17. no_answer

    no_answer Member

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    Why is she putting her classes on a CC and not getting a student loan with lower interest?

    How long have you been together? Asking for money from your boyfriend doesn't sound like it's leading to something good.
     
    #37 no_answer, Feb 3, 2009
  18. thacabbage

    thacabbage Contributing Member

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    This was my reaction too. I was pretty surprised to see not even a mention of this in the first 19 replies.
     
    #38 thacabbage, Feb 3, 2009
  19. EssTooKayTD

    EssTooKayTD Member

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    She's not your wife, so her debt is not your debt. Sorry, but to me, love is not nearly enough of a reason to be with someone. If she got problems, don't make them yours unless you plan on marrying this girl.

    Just my take.
     
    #39 EssTooKayTD, Feb 3, 2009
  20. percicles

    percicles Member

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    Two Words: Strip Club!
     
    #40 percicles, Feb 3, 2009
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