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NBAtalk.com's Best hairdo rankings....Mooch at 1!

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by Rockets R' Us, Nov 17, 2000.

  1. Rockets R' Us

    Rockets R' Us Contributing Member

    Jul 31, 2000
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    Go vote for Mooch. B.Grant leads right now. Anyways, let see if this post works.

    November 17, 2000, 11:22:55 AM

    Hair Do's and Don'ts

    by Darrin Birnbaum

    Back in the day, fluffy afros dwarfed and dotted the vintage NBA. Like living chocolate lollipops, the puffy coif's were all the rage.

    Sadly the fro fizzled, replaced by glossy cue-balls, bald domes, and neat accountant-type trims.

    And say what you will about Dennis Rodman, his rainbow-headed freakshow inspired a whole generation to pop open a can of stylistic worms.

    Today's athlete screams individuality at the top of his lungs on top of his head.

    Scores are based on volume, sheen, and bounce, with bonus points for pure funk and scare factor...

    Rank Player/Comments VERDICT
    1. Moochie Norris Do!
    Part Q-Tip, part orange-headed Troll like they stick on the back of pencils, Norris has a padded hair helmet. Listed at 6-1 with shoes, the poofy fro bumps Moochie up to 6-5.
    2. Terry Davis Don't!
    T-Dog has a straight up mop on top. Shoulder-length strappy dreads jut out at all angles and flop around when he runs. And when he falls to the floor, he does the sweat-sweeper's job by soaking up puddles.
    3. Scot Pollard Do!
    Extra credit for orginality and sheer cojones needed to sport the samurai/geisha-girl look. Sparking TV-Land flashbacks of Pebbles Flintstone and Jeannie the Genie, the ninja-style has Sac-town screaming Bonzai!
    4. Steve Nash Don't
    Think aging british pop star sans the comb. Nash has even got the Austin Powers teeth right. It must be a Canadian thing.
    5. Pervis Ellison Don't

    Nervous Pervis was the original model for those Halloween-wigs with the fat, ratty dreads capped by an angled beret. The beefy scruff brings Ellison an extra 4 or so pounds of pure tonnage, and doubles as a nostalgic reminder of the musical legends that were 'Milli Vanilli'.

    Close Shaves:
    Keith Closs - Reportedly blocked shot with his own afro. Verdict: Do!
    Bobby Sura - Slim Shady lives on... Verdict: Don't
    Brian Grant - Rasta Man has no problem mon Verdict: Do
    Bryant Reeves - Flat-top carved with Buckshot Verdict: Don't
    Vitaly Potapenko - Two words: Eddie Munster Verdict: Don't
    John Stockton - Looks like he'd be more comfortable wearing a Members Only jacket at the Republican National Convention Verdict: Split-Decision

    Francis out top, 9 seconds on the clock, he gives a no look pass to Cuttino Mobley, 4 seconds left, Mobley passes to an open Langhi in the corner with 1 second left! Langhi at the buzzer.......YES!!! How Sweet It Is!!


    Jan 29, 2000
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    Wiz should of gotten some recognition.

    Ceo of the Walt Williams fan club. Web site coming soon

  3. fadeaway

    fadeaway Contributing Member

    Apr 25, 2000
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    Kendall Gill should be there too.

    My dream job is to be a Houston Rockets towel boy.
  4. Lil Francis

    Lil Francis Member

    Jul 31, 2000
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    I think Derek Anderson has the best barber in the world.

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