Thanks Rileydog for that answer........if I could have anything and it were possible I would always be home with him. I guess I can look forward to my being home with him later and know that it will benefit him more in the long run...even if I am am sacrificing now and missing out on those precious early years I am grateful he is with my mom though. And with that I am going home to give him a big hug!!!!!!!
For the guys to keep in mind: for you, it's usually "should we have my wife stay home with the kids?" For the female, it's "should I stay home with the kids?" Big difference in terms of how much impact it has on your life. IMO, it shouldn't be that way... it should be "should one of us stay home with the kids?"... but the gender roles still persist. But if you have another trusted family member - your mom - watching him, I don't see what the problem is. He's bonding with a member of his family no matter what. I'm sure you spend plenty of good time with him when you aren't at work. It seems like it would be healthy for kids to bond with and learn to trust multiple family members or close friends... not just the mother...
I think the main reason why many couples choose to have the mother stay home is that generally, men still make more money than women do. Even in the exact same job. If someone has to sacrifice family time in order to make ends meet, it might as well be the one who can bring in more money. That is certainly the case with us, I work in a field that pays poorly. Of course, I chose to work in this field and felt free to do so partly because I knew I wouldn't have to support myself in the forseeable future. A couple we are friends with decided that they would both work partly from home to spend more time with their new son (he teaches at a university so it wasn't too difficult to work out). Another couple is financial independent and they decided that, for the most part, they would both stay home with the kids. Wouldn't most of us choose that if we could?
You are absolutely right. In my case, even though I enjoy my work, I would have LOVED to have been a stay at home Mr. Mom (after the kids were out of diapers, anyway ), but financially it would have been a disaster. Sometimes the old gender biases don't work out the way you think they are going to.
You would not know how much I miss the days when I was able to see my 3 sons at home playing together as you described. My sons are grown up now (37,35,31) and it's just the two of us now. In our family, my wife stayed at home while I worked, but on the other hand, we raised kids in a time different from today. Some may think that my wife was the one who made the sacrifice, but in hindsight, I think I was the one who sacrificed. You never get the time back once your kids grow up. I spent as much time as possible with my sons and my job allowed me a lot of flexibility, but in hindsight, it's never enough time Those of you who have children understand this. Your kids grow up in a flash!! Before you know it, your kids are walking, talking, driving, walking down the aisle, and bringing you grandchildren to play with Although I must say, grandchildren are a special type of joy because you get to be their friend. Okay, I have gone off topic Sorry for the ramble Talking about your kids and grandkids will do that
