So, LardLad, what's the latest? You still locked out?? Have you talked to her?? Do you even love her?? Don't be pulling an Almu on our asses, we want to know, dammit!
Well I got home last night expecting the worst and admittedly a bit apprehensive about the ensuing conversation. I took what a lot of you said to heart and realized that I should not forgo our relationship simply over my inability to speak up. I have always been the type of person that caters to everyone else and my wife is no exception. She has been through a lot in her life (who hasn't really?) and has consistently expressed how she appreciates me understanding her craziness. I admit that I started this thread out of frustration and definitely feel that she was wrong but I was also wrong as well for letting it get to this point. My wife did not pick up any of my calls yesterday and I assumed that she would be pissed when I got home, however, it turned out to be the total opposite. She hugged me and apologized for acting like a spoiled brat and explained to me that she just wanted all day to reflect on how she has been behaving. She pretty much admitted that it was wrong of her to always want me to herself and understands that 'alone' time from each other is healthy for our relationship. She pretty much gave me an open invitation to hang with friends or do anything I wanted within reason. Yesterday, after our talk, she hung out on the computer watching her music videos while I lay on the sofa watching G4's coverage of E3. Later, she went to bed while I finished watching another TV show. She did not call for me or come looking for me. So this is what it feels like huh? I felt relieved that she is comfortable with letting me do my thing and I am very comfortable with her doing her thing. Obviously, I love being with this girl and love her for who she is but her habit of smothering me was starting to strain my feelings for her. Now that she is more willing to decrease her need of my presence, I actually feel better. I admit, I'm not going to go balls out and hang out with my friends every single night and get home at 3AM and s hit. I'm not going to watch ESPN 24-7 and totally ignore her or play my video games until the crack of dawn. But it's good knowing that if I do chose to do that every once in a while that she won't freak out. At least, I hope...
Sounds like she's another Terrell Owens now. She will change for a while but sooner or later she will go back to the old her.
if i may make a Martin Lawrence reference....sounds like someone else is getting "your time". i'm just teasing.
So Lard, let me get this straight - you didn't even have a conversation with her about the things that were bothering you or did I completely miss that? If you didn't have the conversation and she came to this epiphany on her own then you should consider yourself to be very fortunate. However, I do think that you still need to talk to her about it. You will want to pick a time when you know that she is relaxed and in a good mood and start it off by praising her for letting you have some alone time. Let her know that you were getting worried that you wouldn't get that (the alone time) but say it where you are not putting her on the defensive. She really needs to know that is how you feel and hear that coming from your mouth. Sounds like things are better and hopefully she hasn't lost interest in you (like one poster suggested). Maybe she finally realized that she had pushed you past your breaking point and knows that she needed to back off a little bit. The only question that remains is how long will it last?
Yeah, sorry if I was not clear, but I was able to express myself fully about the things that were bothering me and she she admitted that her behavior in situations such as the other night is detrimental to our relationship. She does not want us to ever separate and understands that repeating her mistakes will only lead to me distancing myself from her..and uh, posting on CF. And there is no other dude...I can assure you, I've got hidden cameras installed throughout our home that can confirm this. And in her car... And her phone is tapped.... And I constantly check her e-mail..
DUDE. DITCH THE CAMERAS and the SNOOPING. TRUST HER. You mean when there weren't Interwebs, "music", locks on bedroom doors, and we had a very low divorce rate and not many deadbeat parents? Sign of the times. VERY True, Prince. Did you all read his response? He said "I love being with this girl and love her". End of effin' story. I believe that all those of you who wanted him to end this relationship can apologize to Mr. Lard now.
Happy to hear this although I worry what would happen if she ever found out that you are tapping her phone, having hidden cameras around, checking her email, etc. Dude - you need to stop doing that right away because that is sending a gigantic message to her that you are insecure about her and that you don't trust her. Good luck.
Oh, I see. Smilies can be very effective (even though you did include one at the end) unless you overuse them like a certain poster who has been posting in this thread...SwoLy-D
it's weird dude. get married or don't. Calling someone your wife, but you are not married just seems weird.
i remember the last time a poster said their SO "changed for the better". a few months later, he came home only to find she had taken all her belongings and moved out. good luck to you man.
