This...is a joke, right? I feel stupid for even asking, but I've had some real weirdos (couples) approach me recently and my eyes have been opened.
Oh yeah, I seem to remember him starring in thirtysomething. In a way, he's the A.D. Miles of the 80's. Also, let's not discount the fact that Booger starred in Moonlighting, Risky Business and Better off Dead.
Here is a word of advice I got 20 years ago in a Teeball game. Coach: You can sit here crying to the team, or you can get out there and play ball.
I love Revenge of the Nerds so much that when I first saw that David Carradine died, the first thing I thought of was "oh no, Louis died!"
I understand your situation. When you are around someone that much you will get tired of seeing that person all the time. However, not being able to watch Rockets' games is just blasphemous. I actually ask my gf what time the game is. It's a wonderful feeling not having to watch food network all day.
Good advice, but I have to ask , what happened in your situation? divorced? kids? happily re-married?
You United States guys and your 50% marriage rate. No ****, Einstein? I wonder why we're giving him advice? No one said it would take ONE DAY or with magic pixie dust. Give it LOTS OF TIME, Merlin. Now you're making sense. That's GOOD STUFF RIGHT THERE, Dr. Phil. Ok... Ok... good... switch to make HER understand it... good... good... nice stuff, Steve Harvey. Where'd you get those odds? What makes you think she won't change when he explains it to her? You had me at hello, Jerry. Hey, man, if I'm this annoying, how have I lasted this long with Mrs. SwoLy? I know this stuff called LIVING TOGETHER... but now we have kids... it's tougher.
^ It was RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES that's what she said!! I'm surprised no one else said it. "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to DonkeyMagic again." Well done, sir.
I was with my wife for about 4 years (1 married) before we finally realized that it wouldn't work. Your story sounds so similar to mine, sorry to say dude but you gotta move on. There's no way around not makin her cry, it's gonna happen. She just won't let it go even after all is sad and done. Trust me I know. Sorry man...
I have spent over 15 minutes reading every post in this thread. It's funny because in reading your opening post, I used to experience the same issues. My wife would get very hurt if I didn't watch some Lifetime movie with her. She couldn't understand that I was watching a ballgame. I feel that I have given up a lot for her but one thing that I could never give up was watching sports. We have been married a little over 3 years (our anniversary was last Saturday) and she has gotten better but it really depends on what mood she is in. If she feels like she hasn't seen me much or spent time with me, she will try pushing me to watch something with her. She does know that if it is the NBA playoffs and/or baseball playoffs and the Rockets and/or Red Sox are playing, that I am going to be watching it. And for the most part she is fine with that although she is not crazy about me staying up late to watch these games. You said she has abandoment issues - I think you know why she is always clingy then. You have to ask yourself, like someone else said, do you love her? If the answer to that is yes, then you need to ask yourself, what are dealbreakers that could possibly end the relationship. Her being a little clingy is probably not a dealbreaker if you really love her. Annoying? Yes but nothing to end a relationship over. Look, you are just going have to find a way to talk to her about that. Establish some boundaries, tell her that you feel that the two of you need alone time. Something that helped my wife with me was that I always reassured her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and that I wasn't going to abandon her. I know it may sound trite and corny but do you tell her so often that you wouldn't leave her? If she has some reassurance on that from you, she might back off and not be so clingy acting. I know it is hard, believe me. My wife knows that I hate confrontations and getting into arguments. I have many times kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to get her upset. Yet I found by doing that, I was miserable because I was keeping everything bottled up. The key is how you communicate - your delivery. I am ashamed to admit that I haven't had the best delivery, so as a result, I am not communicating the way I should with her. Things have gone well for us until recently - there is a lot of stress going on in our lives and we have reached a point where we both feel that counseling could be a good thing for us. This is big news because for a long time, my wife adamantly refused to consider counseling. Luckily, she has changed her mind because I think she knows that I love her and want to do whatever I can to keep our marriage going. Our situation is complicated because we have kids (2, one was there from a previous relationship but I love her like she is my own), so there are some different dynamics at play. I know people who stay married because they have kids and they are completely miserable with one another. I don't want that to happen to my wife and me! I want us to definitely stay together - not only for our kids' sake but because we truly do love each other and not because we have to go through the motions. One other thing you might want to consider (and I noticed no one else has mentioned it) is to see if she might need to be on some kind of medication. I have an older sister who has some irritability, mood swings, headaches, etc and she is on either Paxil or Zoloft. I have another friend (female that I work with) who after having twins had to get on Paxil because she had PMDD (that is what her doctor said she had). I have thought many times that maybe my wife and me both need to be on some kind of medication like that but she wants none of that. However, she didn't want anything to do with counseling and she has come around so there may be hope. Anyway, to summarize, here is what I would do (in order): 1) Ask yourself if you really love her - if the answer is no, then you need to end the relationship immediately, especially before kids are created; however, if the answer is yes, go to #2 2) Find a time when you think she would be in a receptive mood and talk things out. Have a real heart to heart conversation - try to be sweet and not come across like you are judging her. Tell her that you need to establish boundaries and have alone time for the 2 of you. Also, reassure her that you love her and would not leave her. 3) If having a heart to heart talk does not work out, then go to counseling/couples therapy 4) You may have to see if either one of you needs to be on a low dosage medication of Paxil/Zoloft Good luck - don't feel bad, bro. There are plenty of guys out there who have gone through something similar to this.
Manny - I respect your position bro, but anti-depressants don't fix a bad relationship. This dude needs to lay it all out for her, and communicate exactly how he feels and tell her exactly what she needs to do for this to work out. If she isn't willing to do it, the only solution is the front door.
I agree...and I've been married for almost 3 years. You have to talk to her about how you feel about all of this and set some boundaries. If not, the OP needs to end it
I understand moe. Blame it on the book I have called "Change Your Brain" by Daniel G. Amen. He has some radical ideas in it but there are some things in that book that I think are beneficial. But yea, I know taking medication is a controversial measure for a lot of people. And I do agree with you on the relationship should be 50-50 but there are many times where I had to do 70-30 even 90-10 and the same goes for my wife (although I don't think she has ever done 90-10 ). Boundaries definitely should be set with his relationship - it looks like that never happened. So you don't think he should try counseling if talking to her doesn't work? This is, of course, assuming he loves her and wants to stay with her. If he doesn't love her, then I agree that he needs to end the relationship.
