Sounds like a relationship based more on necessity and comfort more so then actual love. Why don't you tell your wife what you tell us over here. Hopefully she understands. Good luck dude. Remember communication can always help. May not get the results you are looking for but its the only solution.
pop the question and run down to the Courthouse, see how happy you will make her. tell her you already booked a vacation to Hawaii and I guarantee she won't look down on a "hollow thing" like a romantic getaway. All women are not like her, and she is lying if she says she never wants to get married. Does she call you her husband? Because this whole thread people keep referring "when you married her". But you never did that. I'm not so sure you are even legally recognized as Common Law. **** Or Get Off the Pot. Yeah that's right, your relationship is a toilet and the act of getting married will be one metaphorical DUMP. - I got that from Rasselas' marriage website for men.
dude, even if you fall into common law, i doubt it's that big of a deal to end your relationship. No kids, apparently not much "hollow" belongings, etc. If you aren't happy with her now, you never will be. this isn't not going to get any better, i have a feeling.\ bingo. That's easy for people to confuse, especially when they are younger.
If he gave it a try and spoke with her instead of the Intraweb geeks here....maybe it could work. Your feelings arent involved my friend.
You mexican guys and your fairy tale lives. This relationship isn't working. Sure, he can try communication (without it, there prettymuch is no relationship) but there isn't a more stupid notion in the world than thinking your partner is suddenly going to one day morph into somebody you're going to be satisfied with (much less happy). Lay it all on the table, tell her where its at. Relationships are not 30/70 or even 50/50. Marriages take 100/100. If she doesn't understand that, its not going to work. Don't throw your life away chasing false hope. If you aren't happy with her, odds are you never will be.
I was not happy with my first wife and I'd have done anything to make it work. It just didn't work. It sucked breaking up and getting divorced but I'm infinitely more happy now that I'm not with her and very glad it happened. My new wife is amazing and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. It is not worth being unhappy because of this woman. When you get to the point you are at, it usually isn't worth sticking it out.
How long are you staying on the computer? Maybe she thinks you aren't just "downloading music". She sounds pretty insecure, but are you doing anything (chatrooms, etc.) that would make her think there is someone else? What's more important: Getting drunk and hanging on the computer, or your girl? Not accusing, just a legitimate question. If she ranks 2nd, then it's OK to end the relationship. If this is just a microcosm of a bigger issue, talk to her about it. If you feel smothered, let her know. I've been with smothering girls before, and it isn't fun at all. None of those relationships worked out (thank goodness). I'd give her a chance to try and understand where you are coming from and see if she changes. Maybe she just needs reassurances from you and she'll back off. 4 years is a long time, so surely there was something that y'all enjoyed about each other prior to you feeling smothered. Try and find that again. If it's gone, then it's time to move on. Both sides gotta compromise. It sounds like you've compromised quite a bit and you should be allowed your "me" time. Everyone needs it. If she can't let you have it, you should find someone who can. I kind of know where you are coming from. My wife (been with her 13 years) used to have a problem with some of my "me" activities. A couple of times a month, I like to burn a J and watch a movie, play a video game, and stay up late. When we were first married, it really bothered her. Over time, she saw that I don't drink, I don't go out with the fellas very much, I don't go to bars. I don't visit internet chatrooms that would make her think there is another girl. Once she felt secure that I'm a good guy that just likes to burn a J once in a while, she's backed off and let's me do my thing. It's not something that we do together, but she's cool with it. All the rest of my time is spent with her, except for golf. She's happy, I'm happy. I hope it works out for you. Good luck and let us know how it turns out.
Looks like from this post all your feelings from last night were out of frustration and you're not going to do a damn thing about it. Sad. If someone locked me out of MY bedroom that I was paying for, for an entire night (and even into the next morning, knowing I had to work) I'd bust down the ******* door. You need to bail. This stuff reminds me of my ex who I just left. I waited far too long because I didn't want to hurt her. I wish I would've done it sooner, and if you move on, I think you'll feel the same way after a few weeks.
Emotionally, I don't think it matters either way whether he is technically, legally married or not. Whether or not they are under a common law marriage , it sounds like they feel they are mentally/emotionally a married couple. Leaving her would be as emotionally-draining and as big of a decision that leaving a (legal) wife would be. Pragmatically though, it could very well matter. I believe I read that the OP is relatively young. A lot of younger people get into a long-term relationship before they have the life experience to know that particular relationship isn't the best fit for them, and that they aren't compatible enough with their significant other to want to spend the rest of their life with them. Those who are legally unattached can make a clean break, if they come to the realization that is what they want. Being legally married presents additional considerations that could make breaking-up more difficult. At a minimum, I personally think it is good to get this type of pertinent information when giving advice. It's moot at this point though because the OP knows the law and is confident that he and his wife fall under a common law marriage.
I'm wondering about your age. I got married at 20, was with him since i was 15. Ater we got married he was not happy, i did everything i could to save the marriage but since he said he was NOT in love with me anymore, there wasn't anything i could do. Are you still in love with her? Cause if you're not, then nothing she does will make you change u feel right now. Will her letting you get SOME time to yourself really resolve your issues with her? Cause once you've reached the point where you don't love the person anymore, any little thing about them will annoy you that never did before. I would encourage her to go out and have a social life as well. Some chicks just don't like sports (thats too bad lol) so maybe thats y she prefers the Lifetime movies (which i really hate watching) just talk to her. get to the point and don't tip toe around the situation. say it like it is.
Lol has there ever been an relationship that ended after the thread was created? Most of them put up with it or go back to the chick and maybe break up a few months later.
I've found that by ignoring a female's attempts at guilting me for things I do not feel guilty about (like surfing the internet, watching the game), they quickly stop and accept my behavior, and we go on with our relationship. That is not to say you should neglect your lady, but do not rush out when you are having personal time at the first sign of female distress. People clamor about how you should change for others, but I firmly believe that change is both dishonest and ineffective. You are who you are, and there will be someone out there who loves you for that. If they do not love you for who you are, then there is someone out there who is better for you. Although the first step is realizing you probably have low self-confidence and have yet to realize you only need yourself to be happy.
something happens when dudes marry that results in a decrease in brain activity. Not long ago, my married friend's wife told him of an erotic dream she had. Evidently, she imagined them having sex while i fanned her w/a giant feather! As she explained to him she'd never had that many orgasms in her fantasies...he decided to indulge her. So...there i was, by her bedside, fanning her while her husband plugs away fruitlessly. No climax. She then pleads her husband "Honey, what if you fan me while your friend performs?" He looks at me, frowns & takes the feather-fan. I have sex with her while he fans. She cums multiple times. Upon conclusion, her husband turns to me and says "Now do you understand how to use the feather-fan!!??" Freakin'moron.
