The reason I posted this: Guilt and frustration. Look, our tube TV burned out a week ago...She works here and there...mostly though she lives a life of leisure and I work at a highly stressful job that pays pretty good...I don't have a degree but I make enough money to pay for all our costs...I wanted to watch the Stros tonight and we were relegated to hanging out in the living room where our Plasma sits...She watched Lifetime movies and I said, whatever, you watch your chick flicks while I buy music and jam out on these headphones. I can watch the Astros some other time, it's a long season. Enter a whiny voice:"SO you're not going to watch this Tori Spelling movie with me?" "No, I'm right here next to you." "It's not the same!" I stand my ground...She watches her chick flicks...Even watches an extra one while I pound brew but eventually she is ready to go to sleep. "Well, let's go to bed!" "Uh, still listening to music here...." She goes to bed and proceeds to keeps the light on in the bedroom..filing her nails, perodically calling my name to go to bed. WTF, I'm a grown man and I will go to bed when I am ready. Eventually I take too long and she locks the damn door.
im there with you on the abandonment issues. or at least the symptoms. actually she just resents people with minor flaws easily so im the one with the social life. weve been together for almost 4 years. if i feel like shes being irrationally clingy, i tell her why i think so and go hang out with all my girl friends. you have to draw the line early on. otherwise youll be george mcfly. all the guys at work tell me the same thing. does your girl drink socially? mine ive gotten to take a total of none sips in the last 4 years. i know drinking is fun as all hell, but shes fine without it. i almost think if she had gotten into responsible alcohol use in college, shed have more friends. chemical impairment promotes verbal praise.
Does your wife even question you sitting by yourself in another room without her? Or does she tell you how much you suck for leaving her watching TV by herself?
Sounds like my ex-girlfriend actually...at the 1.5 year mark, after I got crap for going out until 2 am for my best friends birthday, I cut it off. My current girlfriend is the opposite. Im going to Vegas tomorrow for a bachelor party...she's the one that got me table service at a couple of the clubs. She just asks that I dont get too thrilled at the strip club. Completely gives me my freedom...I watch sports when I want to, play video games when I want to, hang out with friends when I want to, go on trips when I want to. My life is under my control. Thats the way it should be.
Get the heck out. I have very little tolerance for people that are weak like her. Call me snobbish or elitist or whatever, but I've never put up with that clingy crap. I definitely do make sacrifices, I'll watch the chick flick, and I have no problem if my wife wants to go out with her friends. But no one's taking me away from my Rockets, my Spaten beer, my 70's detective shows, and my Hitchcock movies. Get rid of her- the sooner, the better.
Nah, she is vehement on NOT taking the traditional route of marrying and stuff. I guess that's why I still dig her and don't just run to the hills. She is very non-traditional and frowns upon spending unnecessary money on such "hollow things" . Look, she is cool as hell, but I do not think I can be completely happy with her. She warns me that all women are like her and that I should expect the same of any girl that I cheat on her with. Ha. How about just never being in a relationship after this one? Sorry guys, I forgot why I'm even boring ya'll with this.
She's lying. I can name at least 30 females I know that are not like this, and that's in my very small microcosm of the world. If you cannot be completely happy with her, do the bold thing and do not spend one more minute with her than is absolutely necessary. Better to be alone by oneself than alone with somebody.
Man...you guys suck at relationships. Ever heard of a little thing called "communication"? Talk your problems out without attacking each other and bickering all the time. It sounds like you guys treat each other like **** without even realizing it. Honestly, it's annoying when somebody thinks you need to be around them 24/7...no doubt. But it's also annoying when you can't get any true quality time together with your significant other each day. It's all about compromise man... Figure out what's MOST important to each other and find a way to make each other happy rather than always looking out for yourself. Stop being so selfish. If she knows that Rockets games and Astros games are HUGE for you then she'll be more likely to let you do them. But you need to find out what is most important to her as well and give it to her. I hate to say it, but if you aren't willing to stop downloading music and go lay in bed with your wife, there's a problem.
why are you even calling her your wife? she's your live-in girlfriend, and you're getting tired of her. call it what it is.
lando, if we had 15 years under our belts, i would have been like 10. she would have been goofy looking with awkward chicklet teeth and hakeem olajuwon would be spinnin fools in the nba finals like chinese pinwheel day.
That's exactly my situation- and what I do to keep it that way is I make a point to do special things every couple of weeks or so- you know, buy flowers, do a domestic chore like a day's worth of laundry, etc. As a result, almost unlimited freedom. It's great.
Umm, if you were to read his post, I think he clearly explained that he does these things with his girlfriend- she controls the weekend, etc. He simply stated that he wants to occasionally have time to himself. Now, if he's not being upfront and he never spends quality time with her, that's one thing. But that is not what he indicated in his original post. Another thing is that you're assuming that she is willing to communicate- how do you know she is? I've dated plenty of women who were absolutely not willing to do this- and believe me, I tried everything. And there were some in which I screwed up. But you're being pretty damn judgmental and holier-than-thou on someone who seems to have tried to have quality time with her.
Yeah, definitely, you gotta do things for her as well...It works both ways. I do things for her and she does things for me...we both give each other space, but we also make sure to do things with just the two of us. Its all about balance.
No, sorry, I will easily take blame if there was blame to take. I am always bending over backwards to appease her needs. Please don't assume that I am always rejecting going to bed with my wife/live-in girlfriend. I download and listen to music maybe three times a month and that is rare. Initially, being with her and always being by her side suited me just fine but eventually it begins to drag. I am not perfect but I am very communicative with her...Which leads me to believe that my answer is just to move on with my life without her. WOw.
