OP: Is there any reason you haven't wanted to do the "traditional marriage" thing with her other than because she doesn't care about it?
I agree 100%. I have read this thread from the first post and find it extremely odd. They must be teenagers that found freedom at their first home away from mommy and daddy. They think they are adults, but are way too immature to realize it's all a joke.
^ I agree, although i would put it differently...or nicer at least...then again, i called it "weird" so whatever. Anywho...they definitely seem young and naive/immature.
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I guess I'm lucky. My girlfriend (of almost 7 years...) does silly thinks like expecting me to go to sleep when she does or expecting me to watch her romantic comedies that I end up buying for her, but at the same time she understands I'm making a sacrifice of some sort by doing those things. For example, I watched Twilight with her (not just for teenage girls, apparently). In return, she watched Terminator in the theaters with me (it sucked). If there's something on TV she knows I hate but really wants to watch, she rarely complains when I hop into the other room and play WoW or watch baseball on MLB.TV or something. It's all about being aware of what your partner likes and dislikes, really. She's well aware of what I can't stand, and I'm well aware of what she can't stand (baseball, too much ESPN). Being aware of that and considerate of that is paramount. If your partner can't realize any of this or just simply doesn't care, you need to vocalize that and if she STILL doesn't care... well, time to GTFO. Fortunately for me, my girlfriend cares. Hell, she even got me playoff tickets to the Lakers series this year (but it was game 3...) for my birthday. I'm lucky.
^ great stuff, sir. +- even feedback for getting that done, but being a Fakers' fan. I have three girls (2 daughters, one wife) that I love, and that I know love me back. How do I know this? They wanted me to watch HairSpray with them for our "family" movie. I wanted to watch Transformers (released waaaYyyYyyy before HairSpray). What did WE do? We watched BOTH. TOGETHER. They ended up liking Transformers, too. Oh, what the heck... I wanted to watch Hairspray anyway, but I used that wisely and told them the truth shortly after leaving Transformers.
You got a good girl! I watch whatever my fiance wants to watch. Sometimes, I have to sit through really dumb comedies. In return, he watches what I want to watch. No romantic movies. I can't stand them. He's secretly hooked on Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives. He doesn't want to admit it but I know he's hooked!
Been in a similar spot. I ended up getting blind drunk every night after she went to sleep. Of course, for the first hour after she went to bed she would get up and come whine for me to come back to sleep so I had to hide the alcohol. Looking back it was so miserable. All I did was get wasted and surf the net until 3-4 in the morning. That was what kept me going.
Explain yourself, sir. Is it just the gender, is it that "your last name won't continue", that you'll be taking them to see Transformers, or that you'll be forced to watch HairSpray?
Some of these comments are foreign to me. My wife and I have always been comfortable enough with each other that if she wants to watch something that I don't want/care to (or vice versa), it's never been a big deal. If one of us wants to go to bed early or simply lay there and read a book while the other stays up, no big deal. When kids are involved, I think it IS important to do things as a family, but when no kids are involved, it seems petty to expect the significant other to want to watch shows they aren't interested in when there is something else they want to do or go to bed at the same time, etc.
my situation i guess is complicated. Honestly even at that young of age, I was serious about my marriage and did everything I could to save it. Lots of things happened...bottom line though, he wasn't happy anymore and he says he was not in love with me. (im giving u the VERY SHORT version of teh story). Thats why I said, that if he just flat out does NOT love her anymore, anything she does to supposedly make the situation better, will not work because he has that thought set in his mind. in my situation, thankfully no kids. divorced at 25 sucks but hey, as long as you make the best of a bad situation, things will get better. not remarried...happily single! =D
I have given her a ring and I wear a ring as well. We have never taken the traditional marriage route simply because we do not want to. We have gotten accustomed to introducing each other as husband and wife and will continue to do so. I posted this earlier: There are three requirements to be legally married through an informal marriage: * The man and woman agree to be married; * After the agreement they lived together in Texas as husband and wife * In Texas, represented to others that they were married. We fit all three categories above. But if a few out there think it's weird, that's fine, but I know similar couples that define themselves as married despite the lack of an actual marriage license. And no, we are not a couple of teenagers barely moving out of mommy and daddy's house. And that's fine if you question my maturity level but I don't see my relationship as a joke as a previous poster stated. Look, we are both adults and are cognizant that it takes effort and sacrifice to ensure a long and lasting relationship. My SO (for those weirded out by my use of the word wife) however has some dependency issues that I hope we will be able to work through. Granted, she pissed me off and I felt the need to vent and even considered bailing on the relationship based my frustration. Not the most mature way to handle it I know but oh well. I'm just glad the door is unlocked now...
Just because you live with one another that does not constitute marriage. There needs to be acknowledgment by both parties that they are married and thus an informal marriage.
Right now my daughter is already a daddys girl she would ask her mother for things and her mother would say no then she would come ask me. I'll say no at first then I'll give in I can't help it looking at her sad face it always gets to me. I think with a boy I would be able to handle him and not only say no but hell no. I can see it now my two daughter planing something so they could run over me. I don't even hit my daughter on her hand when she does something bad I just can't do it I hate to see her cry, I have to tell her mother on her and the thing is she knows this. I know with a boy I would be able to hit him when he does something I won't feel sorry for him. Another thing is she likes to come in our room and sleep between us her mother would say go to your room, then she would look at me and say daddy pleaseeeee I'm scare and after that she be sleeping with us.
That's cool, I was just curious about how you two handle the whole deal (rings, etc), and for what reasons you don't want to go the "traditional marriage" route. Do you have any specific reasons broader than that you two just don't want to? Again, I'm just curious.
