Ack, this sucks. I tend to internalize things until they boil over, so this is a good forum to get my thoughts out. My wife started a new job about two months ago at a local college as an assistant librarian (she's finishing her masters in library sciences). It's her first job in over five years since our son was born. Well, she had an internship last summer at a library, but it was filled with shrews, and the only guy there was an older maintainance man. Anyway, she's been super weird lately and getting lots of texts that she reads 'discretely'. I don't snoop or pry into her info, because I believe in trust first. She's also been getting home a little later than I figure it will take from her job. For example- sometimes she works till 10 but won't get home until around 11:30. I know it takes 30-45 minutes to drive home from her job. So I put a keystroke logger on her laptop a few days ago and started reading the logs. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. She was hitting Facebook a lot. But she deletes her cookies, I found out, when she closes her browser. Kind of strange. Didn't make me feel any better. My job is pretty flexible on time and I drive around to different sites. Yesterday we were going to meet for lunch close to her work. I decided to go by a little early and park where I could watch her come out. Well, she walks out with this guy, early 40s, in a suit. They are walking pretty close together, shoulders touching and laughing and looking at each other. So they get to her car, the guy looks around, and plants a big one on her. My gut fell about 10 stories and I felt super dizzy. I guess she drove off, but I don't remember it. I met her for lunch, and she acted like all was usual. I was in a daze, so just ate a little of my food and didn't talk. She asked me what was wrong, and I said I felt sick, April fools!, so she made some noise about me going home to lie down. Anyway, she got home on time yesterday, I think. I've just been lying in bed ever since with this horrible feeling in my gut. What should I do? Sometimes I feel like I want to bash her brains in, but when I think of our son, I want to do something to make it work. ugh
I would go to her library and change all the catalogue numbers around!! That'll teach her to cheat on you
Dude man I'm speechless. I really feel for you. Hopefully things get better. IMO if/when you do confront her make sure you have some sort of evidence that she is cheating on you. At least that way she doesn't try to lie her way out or turn things around on you (you know how women can be)
(sorry typing from my Android) As one man to another I think you should divorce her forever. Pretty much if this happened once it is bound to happen over and over. Realize that she did this to you and not the other way around ok? I've had personal experience in this matter so I can talk if you want later. Listen to me man, it will makes things easier, sorry.
You should definitely confront her about it. Don't hold it in. See what her explanation is and there isn't a good one for making out with a coworker, BTW, what race are y'all? Just wondering....
You know you must confront her. Sooner the better. I felt your pain reading the OP. Don't waste any time. Cut to the chase and go from there. Maybe others who have been through this can help you on what to expect, what questions to ask, how to react if she denies, what steps to take for repairing the relationship if she admits it, etc. Oh, and April Fools back atcha if applicable.
Please tell me man that this is an Aprils Fools Joke... I've sorta been in a situation like this and it was the worse feeling I have ever had in my whole entire life. I was worse than any physical pain I have ever received and actually went into depression for 2-3 months.. Funny thing was I thought depression was just a joke until I got it...
Hey bro if you want to step up your cyber-sleuthing to the MAX, check this out: http://www.tightvnc.com/ It's free, and she will never find it if you set it up right. Anytime you want, you can fire it up on your computer and it will show you what is on her screen. You can even turn on an option to control her computer from yours although I assume you'd prefer it just for the surveillance aspect. Screenshot anything incriminating. The regular VNC program can also be used to have her PC send yours a screenshot every 30 seconds, so you can just flip through them rapid-fire and watch a time lapse of what she's doing. Also, you were a FOOL not to photograph her with the dude. I know this is april fool's but it's more fun to pretend it isn't.
Yeah, the crappy thing is that we have a beautiful 5-year-old boy and that our main 'goal' in life is to not 'F him up'. So her doing this isn't only betraying me, it's betraying our family and son. It really sucks. And if you're reading closely, you know this is an april fools joke. The truth is, I just want to bury this completely and hope it's just a fling that will go away.
Must be tough, man... sorry. A friend of mine went through a similar ordeal, and he actually hired a private eye and caught his girl red-handed. You may not want to jump the gun, but rather stockpile evidence over the next week or so and lay down hard evidence that she can't refute. Confront her in a non-aggressive manner, and get to the bottom of it. Otherwise, this is going to eat at your conscience and only make matters worse. If you accuse of her cheating now, she may deny ever having an extra-marital affair/claim that guy "always hits on her" and she's disgusted by him... likely to scare her off, and you'll never reveal the truth. You can also set up a trap, and say you have to go out of town/attend a work-related event... monitor her activity, and see if you can scrape up some dirt on her.
If its real, that sucks the big one man. Just keep your head up and concentrate on yourself and your happiness. It's a time where its ok to be selfish.
