Have you guys ever had to choose between what you wanted to do career-wise and the "path of least resistance" as my loner friends call it? At 24, I'm too young for marriage or kids. My girl just got a job offer up in the Dallas area (shes from Dallas and a Mavs fan) and spent the last hour balling. Tear-wise. She cries every time she goes home for X-Mas break or the summer but this time it actually implies some greater period of time. We met at the college apt pool during Hurricane Rita a couple years and change back. Neither of us went to the pool much so I kind of feel like fate that we met then. My apt floor was littered with Houstonian refugees and she just happened to be reading a book from a class I did well in (genetics). I even told her we could never date bc she looked like an ex. I love her and love waking up next to her (I minimize the screen when she comes in the room when I'm talking to you guys...bc only you guys complete me) but I have my own goals. I'm afraid we'll lose what we have and on my deathbed I'll wish I could have had it all with her. Just 2 days ago she asked me about marriage... dammit why must she!? For all the time we spend worrying about birth control and the whoops... I should NOT give in. I can always get hitched when I'm 30. Right? A lovely older grandma in my acting class told me to sow my wild oats Graduate style last night. Everything will come in time, right? I shouldn't rush into these things. She won't pass me by but I shouldn't wish her to wait for me after a decade. Girls think themselves like dairy products, expirable after a short period of time. Help or ridicule. Both are welcome.
Why only think about what you think you will lose (opportunity to sow wild oats...) vs what you will gain (companion, friend, confidant, lover et al)? With every choice you will gain something and lose something. What is the advantage of being frivolous about someone you think is special?
I would say "time to break up", but to be able to fully judge the situation, I need to see a picture first. After all, she might look like this:
Did anyone else read it another way too?? HAYJON, go with your gut feeling on what to do, your head has you all messed up..
I got married at 25 and, in retrospect, neither of us were ready. I'm not ready to get hitched now, but I am FAR better prepared for it now in my late 30's than I ever was in my mid-20's. I'm not sure why her moving to Dallas for an extended period of time means the relationship is over though. It's only like 3.5 hours and plane flights are cheap - I know people who practically commute to Dallas, nevermind people who live in Pennsylvania or even Chicago who fly to NYC every day for work.
You lost me at "mavs fan" But anyway, the fact that you even have to weigh this option tells you all you need to know. When its the right time with the right one, you won't even consider anything else.
I think it all depends on different people. I got married when I was 21 (now i'm 24) and my husband was 24. Neither of us miss our pre-marriage days. I guess it depends on your relationship with the person too. If you don't feel like you're ready to get marriage, you shouldn't. We personally went through marriage counseling before we got married. It's a good idea when you do decide to do it.
I concur. Maybe i was reading this wrong but i figure if you two truly love each other, nothing should stand in the way of that. I don't know what you or you're girlfriend do for a living but i would hope there was atleast a possibility of either you finding a job there or her finding one here. You don't have to get married to be together either but I don't believe in the wait until you're older mantra. You should be with the ones you love now, tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
It's probably a good trial for you both. If your relationship can survive her working in Dallas it's probably a keeper. I agree with Moes in that if you are really meant to be together things like job relocation won't be the reason you split. It will either solidify the relationship or make it obsolete. Sowing your wild oats is fun and all, but it probably won't make you any happier than you are with her. You don't have to get married to still remain committed to one another. Let that step wait until you are ready for it. Hope it all turns out okay.
It all depends on what your motivations are. You lose her and then spend the rest of your life looking for a copy of her and end up old and lonely. If you really want to just have a good time now and not really looking for the "love of your life", then just let her be. I am in my 30s, had a similiar situation and my choice was to give in to "I am not ready", mainly because I was scared, and still looking for a similar love 10 years later. The entire idea of, "she won't pass me by" crap isn't always true. I guess what I am saying is, only you know you and your situation. So You are going to have to make this decision yourself.
You told a woman that she looked like an ex, and you're still alive. That right there, should let you know... that she is the one. =)
Yup, I agree! Be with her and get married later. There isn't a rule that says you have to be married to enjoy each other.
We (my lady and I, not Lady_Di, lol, although she's hot!) spent 4 years living with each other, off and on, before getting married, although we were older than the two of you are, at least I was. Fate, karma, call it what you will, but if she moves to Dallas (poor chick!) and the two of you still keep the feelings you have now, you'll work it out, married or not.
Well, I'm of the opinion that you shouldn't let her go...If you can find someone that you can't live without, then sowing oats won't be that big of a deal...That doesn't mean marry her right now, but still be together, albeit long distance... Besides, if you do decied to get married now, good for you...You'll know when you know...
