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My Rockets Blog Post

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by RocketMania1991, Dec 3, 2009.

  1. RocketMania1991

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    I just quickly typed this up. I'm a senior in high school right now, and a writer for our school Newspaper. Not much had been going on recently so I decided to type this up.

    It still has flaws, and grammatical errors within it, but I wanted to get peoples opinion on the topic.

    http://houstonsports.wordpress.com/

     
  2. don grahamleone

    don grahamleone Contributing Member

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    this looks to be worth reading when i'm not sleepy. thanks for taking the time. i can't wait to read it.
     
  3. withmustard

    withmustard Member
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    good read, make sure to combine the last two sentences with a comma in the paragraph discussing the jazz (Although......). also, when discussing the win streak, 10 consecutive wins works, adding in a row can be a bit redundant and can lose the reader. Take the comma out of (tracy mgrady and Yao ming...). U have a little trouble with punctuation. Use this to your advantage and ask a cute girl to peer edit you. Tell her you asked her because you think she's smart.
     
  4. withmustard

    withmustard Member
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    oops, you're aware of the grammatical errors.
     
  5. don grahamleone

    don grahamleone Contributing Member

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    I'm going to pick on you here, but I like where your heart is, so keep writing and keep posting the blogs:

    If you are going to say, "But who cares about the past.", you really need to give that statement more credibility and not write long paragraphs about history. If you really don't care, why did you take all the effort to write it. If you do write a bunch about history, how does that pertain to today?

    Just some food for thought. I look forward to reading the next one.
     
  6. amaru

    amaru Member

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    Overall a decent read.


    You made some grammatical errors, but your aware of that.

    The one thing that caught my attention was this:

    Tracy McGrady announced he was having microscopic knee surgery in Feb.

    It should read like this:

    Tracy McGrady announced he was having microfracture knee surgery in Feb.

    *********

    Oh and second on getting a cute girl to proofread......and then asking for her number. For more proofreading help of course, nothing more. ;)
     
  7. zilches

    zilches Member

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    Good job, but take some of the annoying commas out. :)
     

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