I had mentioned in @Falcons Talon's thread about losing his dad that my mom was in the hospital. She had improved and was released. 2 weeks later, though, she was right back in there. Things had gotten worse and it turned out her transplanted kidney was failing. She had made the decision that she would not go back on dialysis no matter what. It was a decision she made and one she made my dad promise to keep knowing what that likely meant. She was worried he wouldn't follow through and considered giving me power of attorney. But my dad said he wouldn't put it on me to make that kind of decision. I was with her Friday night, along with my brother. We just sat and talked and watched tv like we've done for so much of my life. She was in and out of it some. Still, we didn't know that this would be the last time we'd see her eyes open. The next morning, after my dad had come to my son's basketball game, we got the call that her blood pressure was dropping and we need to come immediately. I got a chance to sit alone with her. I mostly just said "thank you and I love you." A couple hours later, it was over. She wouldn't have to suffer any more. In the moments after, things seemed so surreal to me. We grieved. We than sat around talking about what's next and the plans and whatever...while she's just laying there. I'm looking at her just waiting for another breath or to tell us that she's trying to rest and to go away. We were there with her for what seemed like an eternity and I just thought it was so strange. Even the next day, while we were at the funeral home, we're sitting there talking about her wishes and our plans and so forth...all while she's just in the other room. I wanted to go in there and ask her what she wanted us to do. She was just right there. I thought I was doing ok, though. Then on Monday, the Rabbi came to our house to gather info for her eulogy. We sat around telling stories, laughing and crying. The rest of that day was an incredible struggle. Leading up to and during the memorial service yesterday was an incredible struggle. I felt better talking with family and friends in the reception after. My dad asked me how I was later in the day and I lost it a bit. Here he is, just 2 days after losing the love of his life of 51 years (He was the wing-man to his best friend who was wanting to go out with my mom's cousin. 3 years later they were married) ask how I'm doing. Today is a little better. I just have to move past of the image of her in that hospital bed. Once I get past that, I'll be able to focus on the good times. I'll be able to focus on what an amazing wife, mother, and grandmother she was. For now, it comes and goes in waves. I'm naturally concerned about my father. He's only 68 and he comes from a family that tends to live well into their 90's. We'll keep him busy with projects and the grandkids. But we're not there at night. We're not there in the morning. He's determined to stay in the house that was already too big for just the 2 of them. I'm not going to fight him on it. In any case, hug your parents...hug your significant other...hug your kids. You just don't know when something is going to happen and it's almost assuredly going to be way too soon.
Man, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know they say time heals all wounds, but I think some are never meant to be healed. Your memory of her is always going to stay fresh in your mind, and I'm sure she wants you to know she's still there in spirit. Stay strong.
Very sorry to hear of your loss, Leroy. It's hard. I've been there. My youngest graduated from college last Friday and I got quietly emotional watching the ceremony, thinking about how proud my parents would have been had they lived to see it. You will likely get over the worst of the loss in time, but it can blindside you when you least expect it.
Leroy, I'm terribly sorry to read about your loss and even though we have never met, I am hurting for you. Reading this brought back a flood of emotions. As you already know, it's going to hurt, probably a lot for the next few days, especially when you are alone with your thoughts. It's going to hit you again and again and for many different reasons. Don't bottle things up. Find some private time and let yourself have that angry cry. I found that being involved in the arrangements helped my wrap my mind around my Dad's passing and channel my feelings into something productive. Talking to Dad whenever and wherever I was also helped. You're going to surprisingly find yourself in some happy times as well as you reminisce and reconnect with family and friends. Let yourself be happy if you can. There's nothing wrong in celebrating the life of your mother and being happy about all the good times you shared. I will pray for you, your family, and for your Mom watching over you. If there is anything I can possibly do, or any questions I can answer, please don't hesitate to ask.
Sorry, Leroy. That sounds rough. Thx for sharing. Good message for all us to hear. Love the Wing Man story.
Incredibly sorry for your loss, Leroy. Not much I can say that would help. I’m glad you were able to be there with her. Sounds like she was a wonderful woman in every way. Nothing but the best to you, your father and the rest of the family.
Thanks for sharing your story. You don't have to be strong to get over this. You just have to be ready and willing and don't let anyone tell you when that should be.
LeRoy my heart hurts for you as I was where you currently find yourself not too long ago. Allow yourself to grieve..... Do NOT bottle it up. I'm so sorry to hear this LeRoy as it sounds like you had an amazing mother (and father). You are now a member of the club that nobody wants to belong to but unfortunately we will all be at some point in time. Just take it day by day and be there for your dad (and the rest of your family). As time goes by it will get easier but as Deckard said it will hit you when you least expect it. I will say a prayer for you and your entire family LeRoy. Hang in there my friend.
Incredibly sorry for your loss, leroy. You will always find comfort in family when it is needed the most.
