why do women only encourage expression over such things as this.. yet opt for little to none.. on more serious matters...
Glasshalffull, as a birthday present to yourself; I'd go to the library or buy John Gray's "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" and read it while hubby is bonding with son. When hubby comes back, have him read it. This book really describes the differences between the sexes from the neck up. My wife and I read it when we were having some rough times. It really helped both of us understand each other. I'll try to paraphrase. Women can go over the top by thought, while men need physicallity to do so. Bdays, Vday etc. are high on women's priority list and low on men's. Men like to fix a problem, women just want the problem listened to. Now as to your present situation, if he doesn't at least call on Sunday; you have to tell him how you feel. I'd read the book whether he calls or not. Keep us posted1
i know you are a complete idiot but even if you want to ignore what she did for his b-day you still have to acknowledge that she is still his wife and the mother of his child. it's called common courtesy and respect you fool. good god attention whores like this douche make me mad.
If it bothers you, then you need to talk to him about it in a calm manner. The important thing is he show you love, respect and appreciation on normal days, because that way more important than a card and present once a year on particular date of the year.
I did this once in my marriage..about 30 years ago. I was just a dumass and whiffed it. Once I figured out how much sentiment meant in my relationship with my wife I finally got it. You know, some guys don't even know what day it is though they can probably tell you what day NFL training camps open or what day the Rockets regular season starts. Does he let you know what you mean to him on a regular basis...that's really more important than one day. If not you might have a problem you need to talk about. I don't know how your family finances run, but you could steal his credit card and send yourself flowers or buy something bigger. I know, you could buy yourself a vibrator (and cut him off). Don't tell him you bought it just let it show up on his bill. The charge to Bizzare Bizzare will get his attention. I suggest you post his cell number on this board and let everybody text him our own helpful messages. We could send goofy little sentimental greeting card stuff like: Love is saying I love you Never fess up to the posting! But I bet he won't ever forget again.
If you havent already, it doesnt matter much what kind of problem it is, you have to let him know what it is that upset you, why it upset you, and he needs to get it right the next time. And he's got a full year to get the next one correct. Women do all this "you got to 'read me' " **** and it doesnt work. But a birthday is different. How do women remember all the birthdays and commemorative dates anyway. Women at the office always know the birthdays of everyone there, when I could give a crap if their's was last weekend and I forgot it.
I don't really understand a lot of the hatred and resentment represented in this thread. Just a bunch of lonely, bitter guys? I don't care how stupid or what it is - if something is meaningful to your spouse you should make your best attempt share that experience with him/her. Marriage is all about stuff like that - you have chosen to live and share your life with someone so how hard is it to try to get to know that person and do things for them that they will like? Just saying "men and women are different" is a cop out. We are supposed to be intelligent beings so should be able to figure out the specifics of a relationship/marriage and adjust and respond accordingly. I don't think GlassHalfFull is jumping the gun the night before her husband leaves. He gave her a card before he left so he thought about it...he was just lazy about it. If he was planning on doing something when he got back, I am pretty sure he would have said so. Otherwise, if he knew anything about his wife, he would know that ignoring it would just make her angry.
Yeah, like opening day at baseball. The superbowl. I just got to see that PPV fight, what is it, the fifth rematch.
Please communicate with him. Let him know. Don't assume he understands how significant that is to you. My birthday is absolutely no big deal to me. Be gracious enough to let him know how you feel about it without screaming at him.
As a thought, do you think he thinks the trip to The Netherlands and Amsterdam was your birthday present?
My wife's birthday is December 25th... Her family inexplicably never separated or acknowledged her b-day from the holiday. I have to deal with a lifetime's worth of hostility for her birthday being overshadowed...every year while growing up. I do my best to make sure that we always take some time on that day for separate birthday party/acknowledgment with gifts (in birthday wrapping) with cake, etc.. However, when there is family travel involved, it gets complicated and her birthday still gets fairly consumed within the larger Christmas thing.
Can't say it better than you just did. There seem to be an incredible lot of misogynistic feelings getting thrown around lately, especially with the "cheating" thread. God's Son's response is predictable, a lot of young men who enjoy rap music (which praises the constant degrading of women and equates them somewhere between a Bentley and a bottle of malt liqour on the list of what makes a man happy) sadly began to take the deplorable Snoop Dogg "b****es ain't ****" attitude. and when is a birthday some Hallmark crap? The bottom line is if she went out of the way to make sure he had an amazing birthday, he should either reciprocate or next time ask her to not do anything big.
Our son's birthday is December 16. When we saw he was being lost in the Christmas shuffle, we decided to celebrate his 1/2 birthday on June 16.
...but then you gotta worry about getting mixed up in the Father's day shuffle. Oh wait i forgot, nobody cares about daddy. That's my birthday by the way.
Or, You could put on some Barry White, slip into a nice nightgown and ask that sexy lawn guy in for a birthday...uh, rub down. I keed...I keed.... DD
I would have more sympathy if you said he decided to go golfing with buddies, but I believe he's going camping with your sons boys scouts. i'm sure this isn't something that can be moved to another date easily... so give him some credit for being a good father. personally i'd want my wife to spend a day with our kids doing something special (read lifelong memories of hanging out with mom/dad) and just celebrate my birthday some other weekend.
Your birthday only means you're a year older and closer to death. He doesn't want to see you age. He's a good husband. Or maybe he mistaked your birthday with a coworker's birthday? Happy Birthday.
