My father in law owes me 20 grand and wont return my calls

It is time for a Field Trip.
This seems like it needs to be handled Face to Face.

Rocket River

 

If I were you I'd get my wife to call either her father or mother and just get him on the line that way, and then just take the call to a private setting.

I mean in this situation you're sort of in a bad place cause he obviously doesn't have the funds to pay you back and there's no much you can do because obviously telling either the wife, or mother in law isn't an option...

Good luck to you nonetheless, sorry about the situation though...

 

You need to "out" your father-in-law immediately. Keep us posted on how this turns out.

 

I will take care of it for you for $5,000.

 

i think its pretty obvious you have to either confront him or tell your wife first in order to confront him. At the end of the day, your family comes first, right?

 

I think you should tell your wife about the situation.

She might be able to work some magic.

 

he sounds like a smart man.....basically waiting you out until $20k becomes like $5k after devaluation...

you should get some due diligence done on what all skeletons he's got in his closets.....blackmail is your best option in this scenario

 

My older brother was the executor of our father's estate. Right about the time Dad's house was sold and the estate was settled with about $100k left over, he was having trouble with his wife and between jobs/careers (he's been trying to get into acting, for ten years or so, via theatre, in Austin); so he moved out, cut off both his and her cell phone, and didn't return any calls for a year-and-a-half. The estate lawyer couldn't tell us anything because of attorney-client privilege. I don't have any advice or a positive resolution, but yeah, some relatives will **** you if they can.

 

Tell him if he and you can't settle this between 2 grown men, you're going to get the women and the rest of the family involved. If not already told, tell him why you need it paid back now. Maybe he has some kind of guilty conscience and the pride of being a grown man able to take care of his own stuff kicks in.

 

I hope this works. Appealing to his humanity.

When I said a Field Trip I was serious
I did not mean it in a . . .Bat to Knee kind of way
but
If you can see if he is willing to cause undo hardship on his Daughter and
unborn grandchild . . . . IF that is what it takes. . .so be it.

This situation is a critical one.
I would prefer you could sit down and talk like men.
barring that . . . .
You might have to tell the wife.

One Question: IF you had told the wife from the get go . . . what do you think she would have said? Would she have been for or against you loaning him the money?

I know my sister. If My wife loaned her money . . or asked me too. I would say NO . . . NO . . . and HELL NO!
My wife may not know the history . . .but I DO.
I am just curious if your wife would have some insite into this . . .that you may not be privy too.
[not that she holding back or anything . . but something . . . just family stuff]

Rocket River

 

You gotta wonder if the father-in-law was desperate enough to borrow from mateo, then he had probably already tapped out all his other options (friends/relatives) with loans prior.......what if he borrowed $20k from the daughter too and neither she nor mateo know about the other

 

I guess this is why people newer do business with family.

I hope you get it back.

 

I hope I'm wrong and I hate to say this, mateo. But it seems to me that if he's not returning calls he just doesn't have it. And he's probably not close to having it or he'd probably return a call to tell you that. I'd say it's probably time to let your wife in on the whole thing. Good luck, man.

 

Even if he doesn't have the money, he could at least return the calls like a grown man and tell the OP he honestly doesn't have the money but will give a target date of when the OP can expect the money to be repaid. Even if he can't pay it all back at once, he should at least try to offer scheduled payments of whatever he can pay back at a time.

It's not like the OP will send hitmen after the father in law, just talk it out like 2 grown adults.

 

i'd venture to say that even if he did have it, he's probably still avoiding him to keep from paying. i know a handful of people like that. you lend out even a small amount like $300 and you never get it back. yet, the person you loaned it too just bought themselves a $100 pair of shoes or a $200 cell phone.

 

I hope everything works out. It's never a fun situation when it comes to money and family.

 

this is the correct answer.

Its not going to be fun and I wouldn't count on that money anytime soon.

On the brightside at least it was the FIL and not your father, so the wife can't b**** too much.

 

Put a boot on his car.

 

F***!

my advice? he needs to get a call-out from you - if for nothing else that you're setting a boundary with him. these things tend to repeat themselves and the sooner you let him know that you won't deal with that bullsh!t, the better.

not telling your wife or his wife is the real question here...

i say give it a week or two. then leave him a message that you'll have no choice but to discuss it with them if he can't find a way for you two to meet and figure this out.