Dear Resident: We feel that you should be informed of an incident that occurred on Valentine Street. Specifically, a resident reports that, as he was parking his car outside building A on Valentine Street around 11:25 p.m. last night, he was approached by 6 men described as African-American in a white Chevrolet Impala. According to the resident, the men accused the resident of having hit their car. One of the men held a handgun and requested the resident's wallet and iPhone. The Houston Police Department is investigating the incident.
My sources tell me that a drunk man riding a segway and rambling incoherently about a lost class ring was also spotted near the scene immediately after the crime was committed.