Moving Out: Opinions Needed

My son has a sister 4 and a half years younger than he is. This house isn't going to be empty anytime soon. And no, it wouldn't "bother" us. The reason I made that post is because I just wanted folks here to think a bit about their parents as people, not Mom and Dad, and that while they may think they know what's going on in the heads of the respective parental units, they really don't. As a parent, I don't have any doubt that I'd tell the thread starter to take an extra several months if it made him more financially secure. When our kids move out, we'll help them a great deal getting set up in a place. The money isn't an issue with us, like it might be with some people, but you need to understand that you're talking to someone who's nephew stayed with at home until he was 29. That he is far from the only son or daughter he knows who did something similar. And that I moved out, like mrpaige, as soon as I could and never looked back. Just giving my perspective.

 

I think what it comes down to is some people can't stand their parents (or vice versa) and/or feel incomplete without validating their independence by living on their own as soon as they possibly can. And then there's everybody else (like me).

To each his own. Whatever floats your boat. Different strokes...you know the rest.

 

Nah... I loved my parents. Validation? I just wanted the independence and a pad where I could do whatever I wanted. It wasn't any more complicated than that. Can't speak for anyone else!

 

Yeah, validation. Just for yourself, not for others...if that's what you thought I meant. I'm sure everybody who moves out is motivated by the fact that they can do whatever they want in their own place...that's kind of a given, so I didn't make it a point to say it. I mean, everybody loves naked Sundays, right?

 

I get you. Sure, at that age I wanted validation. That I could make it on my own, paying my own bills, cooking my own food (that was a trip!), and all the rest of it. Believe me, I was a frequent visitor back home... scarfing meals, using the washer and dryer sometimes (while I was stuffing my face with Mom's wonderful cooking!). There's nothing simple, I guess, about moving out and leaving all the comforts of home. You just have to take the plunge. And it was probably easier back then. Incredibly cheaper, that's for sure, even if the dollar was worth several times what it is now.

I wanted to give a parental perspective and encourage the guy to move out when he can. Kids stay at home far longer now than they did "back in the day," from what I've seen the last several years. They should think of their parents and give them back "Naked Sunday!"

 

Save your money. I haven't lived with my parent since high school, and my parents do annoy me, but debt only grows over time if you don't pay it off.

 

My first apartment was furnished with a mattress on the floor, stolen milk crates, and lawn chairs... the old green fold up kind. The kitchen counter was my table. I had one lamp. My first "home" purchase was a shower curtain.

If you're ready to move out, don't let "stuff" be the determining factor.

If you're not ready to move out, make yourself move out. At a minimum, set a definite date and tell your parents. It could be right after Christmas at the latest... that way you'll get some stuff to help you if you're really worried about it. On the other hand, if you move out before Christmas, the parents might feel sorry for your pathetic living conditions and give you more than they would while you're still at home.

Whatever date you set, stick to it.

 

Yeah, I guess growing up in my household was different from a lot of others. My parents rarely had significant issues with each other, and never to the point of yelling or physically confronting one another. Therefore I don't have any painful memories I feel the need to distance myself from like some people. My parents are also very open and understanding...very approachable and down to earth. I never had any problems getting along with them (aside from the occasional "mom, you're embarrassing me!"). On top of that, my dad is a NASA engineer and a bit of an introvert and my mom works 12-hour night shifts in labor and delivery, so neither of them has been a social butterfly as an adult. Us kids (myself and my 2 sisters) have always been my parents' social life in a way, so I'd say they probably miss us living at home a lot more than we do. They've lived in the same house for 35 years, stick with a style of dress until their clothes literally wear out, and they drive cars into the ground before getting rid of them. They don't like change, and that includes their kids (and in a way, best friends) moving out.

So in my situation, it's always felt not only like it was OK for me to stick around a while, but that it was actually preferred.

 

Hilarious! I forgot about milk crates. I ripped some off myself. Darn useful things.

 

That's hilarious. I had a buddy make me coffee table by cutting a cable spool apart.

 

Sounds like your folks were similar to mine in some ways. My father was a department chair at a university in Houston (did some work for NASA from time to time, consulting... a very lucrative sideline for him), but Mom and Dad grew up during the Great Depression, so they picked their spots when they were spending their money. I think Dad was pleased I moved out, but Mom probably wished I'd stayed longer. Every situation is different, and today is sure different from decades ago.

 

Cable spools! I used a couple of those. Never thought to cut off the bottom!

 

let fate decide for you.

move only when you find the perfect apt/house.

Start driving around Montrose and the Heights looking. Be very picky. You can provide details of each prospective apt to us, later, as you're searching.

you are in a great position to be very picky on your 1st apt. I highly advise you to take advantage of that. I bet your mom would love to spend a few hours a week helping you search, too.

then again, if you prefer living in a huge apt complex...ignore my post.

 

That's really all I was trying to say.

I know when I was 22, I couldn't care any less about what kind of "stuff" I had. My bed was my bed from college. I had had it for so long I have no idea where it actually came from. My first post-college couch was bought from Goodwill. My TV was the same TV I had in my room in high school and all through college and - along with my hand-me-down stereo - sat on a bunch of milk crates. My table and chairs were bought at a garage sale 5 years earlier.

Point being that when you're 22, "stuff" shouldn't be that important. At least it wasn't to me. That's why they call it a bachelor pad. It's not supposed to be anything fancy, it's just supposed to be moderately functional.

BTW, I love my parents. Had nothing to do with that. I just wanted to be on my own and start my life ASAP.

 

I had about 40 at one time. Stacked 'em up for a dresser and a nightstand, but the big use was as bookshelves. In Grad School, I had a whole wall of milk crates stuffed with books.

When I got a bit of furniture and could get rid of them, I dropped them at the nearest grocery... so technically, I just borrowed them.

 

Good point. I either did the same or passed them on to a friend. Can't remember. I never had that many, though!

 

I'm gonna tell you something that sounds impossibly old-manish, but is an absolute truth:

The older you get, the faster time flies.

4-6 months is NOTHING. And if it'll help you in the long run, that's even more of a reason to go through with it.

The only exception I'd make here is if you and your folks don't get along. Otherwise, like I said, 4-6 months ain't s**t.

 

Cool! Then you should do things at your own pace, if it's so solid at home. BTW, I found the best roommates to have were chicks. Guys are a lot more messy.