in the end... it was your decision... you essentially were the one to leave... at the very least, the first to do so... this is more a matter of you accepting the results of your decision... moving on in that sense... more than from the girl... once you do, you can go on with your life... and if you do still care for her, be open to the possibility of her returning... without necessarily anticipating her return...
What you're experiencing is maturation. You should never marry anyone unless you're 100% ready to be committed to someone for the rest of your life. You weren't ready and you made the right decision. In situations like this it's rare that you can put a relationship back together in the special way that you had experienced it in the past because the trust usually isn't there any longer. Move on with your life, people have near misses in life and came come away better off from it as long as they learn from it and are ready to embrace new people and new experiences. As for your mom, there's nothing wrong with getting input from her and being close to her but there's a such a thing called boundaries. You're a grown man and you have to do what makes you happy in your personal life. A parent will understand these things in the end even if they don't agree with them at first.
Let's see, you clearly stated that he was 5 years older than you and that you can't imagine how "a man like that would handle a truly serious situation." That's e-machismo at its best, tough guy. So I turn this around on you and say YOU are the one with a snap of illiteracy/lack of comprehension. See how I changed it to "snap"?
that doesn't stem from any "machismo"... that stems from basic maturity, responsibility and self-development... and yes, as it pertains to a man, especially... other than that, I'm sure you're trying to communicate in some form... but just can't quite get it across...
I am going through somewhat of the same thing right now man. I have been with this girl for 4 years and she was ready to start talking about marriage and I am in the same boat, not the whole mom deal, but I just wasnt ready. Plus I felt I had so many things to do before I settled down. Now I really regret it because she wont answer or txt back and its only been one month. Its tough man, and really if you have the opportunity to talk to her again do it. But make sure you are sure because if you are just missing her because you are really used to her, dont make the wrong choice. I am torn between the two, even if I wanted to talk to her, there is no hope.
from my experience, i've learned that when you meet a woman that you respect and love, you CAN'T let her go. you have to be a man and take the responsibility of being her man. when you love her, and she loves you back the same, it's an amazing feeling. as far as your mom is concerned, if you don't know what to do by now, i can't help you.
Get out from under your mothers dress and be a man. Youve done what you could and told her how you felt. I hope she takes you back if it isnt too late...one day. Good luck. Next time "partition" your time better.
Don't give up so quick, chicks say things they don't mean all the time, they also change their mind all the time. Just keep at it until she comes back to you or gets a restraining order. And you need to adjust your methods, text message? that's weak, where's the sincerity? At least go talk face to face.
I know she's the one, but you did right by not marrying her both times. If that's what you really didn't want to do whether its from your parents influence or not, then it was going to be a miserable start to your marriage anyways. You weren't ready then. You are now. Timing sucks but its for the best. Travel and visit her. If she rejects you still, then move on. It's tough, but no matter how much you think she is the one, if she's not going to commit to you now (and I don't blame her for it), then she really isn't the one for you. There are billions of other women out there.
Apparently not. For her to be "the one" (if there is such a thing), she would be the one you will spend the rest of your life with. If she does not want to be with you, then she is, by definition, not the one.
"Manning-up" is more than willing yourself to act mature. Its a conscious process that will take time. Have you considered she's ignoring you for your own good? She knows you better than anyone on this BBS and probably realizes you are nowhere ready for a marriage. If I were you, I'd take time off the whole thing... who knows how you will feel about this a year from now?
Let her go. If it is really meant to be, she will be back with you. Meanwhile, spend time working on your career development, working out at a gym, playing sports, and being as busy as possible to get her out of your head.
This topic seemed familiar so I did a search on the threads rm365 started. [rquoter] miserable without my ex... what should I do? Depressed ( 1 2 3 ) 10-21-2009 07:52 PM should I propose? I've got 48 hrs ( 1 2 3 4 5 ) rm365 07-02-2009 03:37 PM by KingLeoric Got hit with the marriage ultimatum... deadline coming up soon ( 1 2 3 4 5 ... Last Page ) rm365 01-20-2009 05:08 PM by Raven Lunatic [/rquoter] You call her "the One", but you ask the internet for +1/-1 in different threads. It's time to rethink your gameplan. Start with working on your self esteem and deciding what you really want instead of half assedly agreeing with whomever puts thoughts in your head only to panic and flake out before the final commitment. Marrying her won't solve anything.
It's cliche, but there's so many other fishies in the sea. Too many, in fact. This isn't the movies where there's only 1 girl for a guy. ..unless you're talking about Forgetting Sarah Marshall and that's a kickass movie.
This is terrible advice. You are saying to keep begging and eventually she has to take him back? Right now it feels like you will never move on, but you have your whole life ahead of you. Move on.
If you really love this girl just go to NY and let her know. I know you said you were scare that she might have someone else there and if she did it just wasnt meant to be. But you have to find out. Another thing I wanted to add please dont be ready to marry this girl just because you miss her or cant see her with anyone else. I made that mistake, so make should its coming from the heart. Good luck.
