If you have to ask a bunch of guys on the internet, it's probably not going to happen for you. Sorry, but this was one of the saddest posts I've ever read. Seriously with that attitude you're better off staying at home with a box of Kleenex.
Talk to Mama Son and she'll hook you up... I see nothing wrong with getting a massage while nude...It's not like anything happens in legitimate places...
Well I've been watching Dateline NBC and apparently online chatrooms are great for that type of thing....