It's all your money as a collective family anyway. If you get divorced, do you think the judge will let you keep your 'gift bank account'?
Typically you can see exactly what store the purchase was made at if using a Debit Card. If you wrote a check most online bank websites let's you view the image of the check. Could make it pretty easy to deduce what was purchased. I just assumed you would have joint credit card accounts too. How is that any different than having separate checking accounts?
Definitions of gift on the Web: something acquired without compensation endow: give qualities or abilities to give: give as a present; make a gift of; "What will you give her for her birthday?" giving: the act of giving
Do y'all not use online banking or something? For instance, when I bought a new bike for my wife for our anniversary last year, if we had a joint checking account she would have been able to go online and see a purchase of a few hundred dollars at Performance Bicycle. Do you see how she would know that I bought her a bike? I didn't think it was that difficult to figure out.
Married 10.5 yrs. We've had separate accounts since the beginning. I pay for the rent and cable/electricity. If we go out to dinner I pay. She saves her money, and she pays for our vacations (2-3 international trips per year). She buys whatever she wants, goes out to eat with friends and uses her credit card, and is allowed to do as she pleases. Luckily she is very reasonable and doesn't spend willy nilly. I buy whatever I want, but my appetite for "stuff" isn't that great. Oh, she has access to my bank account.
so are you saying that the judge will ask the wife to return the wedding and engagement rings when divorced?
Considering the credit cards get paid from the joint checking account, it is quite a bit different. If I want to snoop around on her credit card purchases or she on mine, we could easily do that. Fortunately we are beyond snooping. I could easily access our online banking and snoop around as well during gifting occasions. Why bother?
Again, what are you talking about? If folks are that shallow that they care where the money comes from when they receive a gift pr the dictionary definition of "gift", there is nothing I can say to change their mind. I'll just continue to go with our tried and true method which has worked well for 30+ years.
No. I'm saying that you can have a separate bank account that you use to buy your wife gifts from and act as if you're not using her money to buy gifts. But dude, it is HER money anyway. The divorce judge will agree.
Agreed, but they could just as easily snoop around on bank account statements. So why not just have separate checking accounts if your beyond snooping/trustworthy of your SO. Don't see the difference. Who said anything about snooping? Do you or your wife never go online to check your balance or expenditures throughout the month?
unfortunately when it comes to "gift", by definition, how the gift is acquired is important. i'm not judging that your method is wrong.. but i'm just wondering how you guys do this. As DCKid mentioned, gift has an element of surprise. and if you're buying something for your wife using her own money, that doesn't sound approriate. So tell us, when/how was the last time you give a present to your wife?
I buy my wife gifts quite often. I recently bought her an original painting commemorating the Saints Super Bowl win. it was a complete and total surprise as she had no idea a painting like this even existed. Not only that, the author signed a personal greeting on back. Again, it was more important to the thought and effort I put into researching finding and getting the gift, as well as the extra touch of contacting the gallery and getting the artist's signature than it was as to how it was paid for. So tell us, how long have you been married?
That's YOUR definition of a gift. Element of surprise is not necessary. I can see how it's fun, etc, but that's not what a gift has to be. My wife and I are a little more practical about things so I don't run into the surprise issue. I can see how joint account would be harder, though not impossible, to make a gift a surprise. My gifts to my wife has been cruises, new car, new house. Obviously all things that we discuss ahead of time with no element of surprise. For those who want the surprise, pull some cash out of your account and buy the gift that way.
I check our balance almost every day. I don't click on the check image unless it is really out of the ordinary. When I see an amount for the bank card, I see that it was to 'Macy's' (or some other store). I don't see the particular item that was purchased, so if it was a gift for me, I will still be surprised as to what the gift is.
Okay, I see how it works for you, although I still say you're counting on quite a bit of stuff to not happen. Probably too risky for gifts where making it a surprise is really important. Besides, we use debit cards instead of checks (as I believe the majority of people do nowadays), which typically display the name of the store right there on the first line of the transaction. For a store like Macy's it may not matter. However as mentioned for a store like Performance Bicycle, there really isn't much mystery.
Thanks. One thing about what you said above, painting is a luxury stuff. So if you guys are in that level, who's keeping the money is a minor issue. And if you two runs your business, no point in having 2 accounts. It's diffrent in the world of working couples. But I can assure you that your arrangement is a minority. But being married for 30 years means that you guys are ultracomfortable with each other. You know what? I won't be surprised if your nickname bobrek is also combination of your name and your significant other.
is this you Les Alexander? Buying her a car is a gift, but buying her a house, where you two live together... it's not a gift.
