That's what we do, although without all the caveats. I have an account where I put income that comes from my late father, sort of a "mad money" account that lets me buy things for my sweetie without there being a paper trail, things for myself, and so on. While it's far from being a "fortune," it makes me feel good to have it. I think that's the best way to handle things. We all need a certain amount of individual financial freedom, married or not.
You people have strange ideas about marriage. Maybe it's because I got married so young and have been married so long. A married couple is one unit, one family income, one set of debts, one set of goals, one set of compromises. If you want to buy something and you can't explain it to your wife, it may be a bad idea and vice versa. If you want something and it a reasonable desire and your wife gives you a hard time, maybe you picked the wrong wife. The info needs to be shared for emergency and survivorship issues. All are issues you need to talk about before you get married, truthfully. AKA: The Hookers and Blow Fund
EDIT: I thought this was a new thread but looks like I posted already. oops! A joint account for the household needs and we have our own accounts for our spending. We put in fixed amount of money into the house account every time we get paid. No arguments here. We consult each other with any big time purchases. It has been working for two years so we stick with this plan.
same here. one thing if you ahve a one joint account, how are you going to give a gift to each other??? hi dear, i bought a diamond ring... hi sweetie, i got you a new beemer... all will be paid from our joint account.
Wow, really? A married couple can only be happy if they're in perfect harmony on everything they each want to spend money on? Are you from Pleasantville?
I would agree with him, and he didn't say anything about perfect harmony. If you want something "reasonable" like the poster stated and you can't get it in your marriage without hiding it, that's not good.
Well he said "gives you a hard time" not "prevents you from buying it." What guy doesn't give his wife a "hard time" on shoes or clothes she blows money on?
I don't give my wife enough grief over shoes and stuff that she'd feel the need to hide their purchase from me.
Yeah, I think maybe some of your views are a little old-fashioned. I would prefer to maintain at least some of my individuality in a marriage rather than just become a two-headed person. Help me understand something...so if your wife did have her own bank account, do you worry she'll buy stuff you absolutely would not approve of? If that's the case, shouldn't you be more trusting of your wife? However, if she was using her personal account to buy stuff that maybe you don't necessarily agree with but still allow because she likes it, why do you even need to know exactly what she's buying? As mentioned before, this is provided you have already set up a savings budget with your wife, and have a set amount set aside for spending money each month.
I've been married for 9 years, and we have a joint account. We have a budget. After we fund our savings, pay our bills, make our donations, we have money for going out, fun activities and new stuff for ourselves. Then we decide how to spend it, or save it for a bigger project/purchase. I wanted a new TV, so I bought a TV. She wants some purse or shoes, she buys shoes. Doesn't seem like a big deal to me.
I can't get my wife to buy enough stuff for herself. She'd buy her clothes at Walmart if I let her. I'm just saying when you get married you become one unit. Transparency and communication actually avoids big blow ups. I do not mean that things don't have to be worked out or that there is never any friction.
What keeps it from being a surprise? Also, we can use credit cards to buy gifts and buy things online.
I don't get that either. I guess it's only a surprise if she doesn't know the amount you paid? Which is weird too because a quick Google search can find that.
To me, the important part of a gift is the thought put into it not who pays for it. Theoretically, even though we have a joint account, we could 'justify' it being our share that we contributed to the joint account that paid for the other's gift. I would hope that no couple is that shallow that they really care where the money comes from when they buy each other a gift.
