I'm not married, closer to valuing marriage than ever before. Like Invisible Fan mentioned I read where marriage is more beneficial to men than women. {ME THEORIZING:} I think we've come to learn a little that the women collective now, given time to independently operate on their own, really they don't give much a DARN about anything ... Or have developed interests that don't lead to healthy marriages. Women can be as self centered and douchy as men who've been forever criticized for that. Women love their work wages and nice purchases too. Also there's many different types of women now, they're a more "dynamic range" they're arent as "monolith" as men. That means more incompatibility between men and women. I think the best wife material are women who are accepting of "maternal" attributes, not all all hung up about the possible damages of childbirth and all that...can understand the fears and concerns of potential motherhood and wifehood, though its not my body. In the end it just comes down to me trying to plant my seed into some fertile soil lol. And of course compatibility and personality and shared interests along with it
You had to wake up from your fantasy that life was ok and that you could be patient through the whole ordeal. Good that you held on to what sanity you had left. Gotta know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. I understand your situation and agree that your self-worth was at stake. i myself have experienced all kinds of hell with my wife, but in the end, I realized more than anything else, I love her and she loves me, so together we stay and fight the good fight. We've been married over 22 years and have threatened to call it quits many times. But, something happened along the way that reminded me of why I love her so damn much and why she still thinks I'm the one. I can't put my finger on it but when you see the worst someone has to offer and you come through on the other side feeling better about her and yourself, you know it's meant to be. I had to really look inward to see what was causing me to question my marriage. I realized that I used to deny my role in the crappy things that happened, but I had to lose some of my selfishness to see more clearly. I wish for all marriages to be trouble-free, but the ugly truth is, they're not and the ones who are in it for themselves are the ones who blame the other for all the trouble that's bound to occur. I'm not saying everyone who gets married should stay together if they are truly incompatible or if one of them is so poisonous to the marriage that they literally suck the life out of it...No! But if there's a true bond there, it can overcome many of the critical issues facing modern marriages.
My wife and I were cleaning out my car about two weeks ago, and we found a weird pair of women's socks. She says they're not hers. I've never seen them before, and just assumed they were hers. I absolutely know they are not just some random person, as nobody has been in my car that shouldn't have been. So, she was all suspicious and I assured her they were nobody in particular's. Fast forward to last night: I'm working late at the hospital, and she calls me before bed. I pick up the phone say hello, and her first comment, before she says hi is, "Are you going to call and tell me goodnight, or am I going to have to beat it out of you?" So, the call keeps going, and I tell her about this 89 year-old lady I had just met that was super nice to me, and semi-hitting on me, and she says after pausing for a second, "What kind of socks does she wear?" About two months ago, we were driving and come across a speed limit sign that was upside down, and I point to it, and say, "That speed limit sign is upside down!" Without hesitation, she shoots back, "Thaaank youuuu, John Madden!" One of the many reasons why my wife is the coolest girl in the world. She's always got some sort of snappy or sarcastic comeback to things I say, especially when they're stupid or out of place. She always says them in the cutest, most playful way, though, which makes it awesome.:grin:
Celebrating my 10 year anniversary today. Like others have said, my wife is my best friend. I don't ever remember feeling like I didn't want her around me. Having her near brings great comfort. We enjoy each other, even if we don't individually enjoy some of the things we do. Key to marriage, IMO, is being able to take hard look at yourself and make the changes within to find common ground. So many I have seen are stubborn and feel their mate should adapt to them. You have to find common ground or the love and attractiveness will wear off over time.
