There is no way I could stand letting some other guy dick down my wife and then she comes home to me like it's nothing. Honestly, I don't know how any man could live with that situation. Think about it though, she comes home from a wild session of sex and then kisses you on the lips with her penis breath. Worst part is, it's not your penis on her breath, it's some other guy. Yeah, I know yall are going to say that I could do the same too but that still doesn't change the fact that SOMEONE ELSE layed the pipe to my wife. Me personally, all I need is one girl. I believe going out and trying to hook up with a whole bunch of different girls is too much work. Having one girl means easy access to p***y which is a major plus to me. Why hunt for more when you have some good stuff waiting for you at home?
im feeling the same way, but not about flings...just dating in general. I'm over it for the moment. Juggling date nights with girls; the time, energy, etc. I got stuff to do too!
My wife has given me the OK to have a fling on the side. I've never taken her up on it and probably never will. It seem like a waste of time and energy and I'm happily married. Now if there was a convient place for a quick (no strings attached) BJ from time to time I might consider that.
The problem is you've only got it half right... communication is key, but as a poster who has been married a long time said earlier in this thread... trust is every bit as important. The lack of communication will slowly rot away a connection that was once there, but a lack of trust creates insecurity and jealously that will implode a relationship faster than anything else. For me, I found a person that I am committed to be with for the rest of my life, and for me to let her know that I need to think about other women in a lustful manner much less act on it is damaging to her psyche because she depends on me and trusts me with her life. I don't care what Kirilenko's wife says, the odds are she's desperate to keep him because he hauls in an NBA star's bankroll and will try anything to satisfy his crazy desires. The problem with society isn't the desire to go out and have all the sex you want with whoever you want. It is the epidemic of irresponsibility over the past 4 decades that has led to a discarding of any semblance of morality for the selfish interests of one's self. You cannot have your cake and eat it to in this regard. You cannot live a promiscuous lifestyle and at the same time be in a committed relationship and expect it to last forever. It simply does not work that way. You wanting to have sex with someone outside of marriage is nothing more than a total betrayal of the commitment you made when you took the plunge, there are no ifs ands or buts around it, no matter how you try to justify it. No matter if you have manipulated your spouse into agreeing with the decision. More than half of marriages now fail because 2 people go into it and never consider that they have to be responsible and let go of so many things they did when they were single. You cannot live as a single entity in a marriage. You have your own independence, but you committed yourself to another human being and if you can't handle that responsibility along with the physical attraction that was probably the main reason you decided to marry that person... you were better off just ****ing in the first place and leaving it at that.
That's just wrong. Sorry. You will never stop thinking about other women. Ever. To think one or both of you can accomplish this is just some state of denial. Be happy that both can appreciate the attractiveness of other people. It will never stop and it is a good thing.
You're right. Actually I read my post back and immediately edited because I realized how bull**** it sounded. I'm no superman. There are basic human instincts that cannot be ignored. Acting on it is the problem.
you have to be careful with the "oks" from the wife. There is usually some fine print saying, "if you do, I do"
Di- It took me 31 years to "grow up" and get married. Don't rush things or feel like there is a time line of when you should meet the right dude - it will happen. I think our generation is more apt to find their way in life (change jobs frequently, travel, take more risks, find your passion), learn about who we are, and most important: how to make YOURSELF HAPPY first. It takes time, and I think your 20's should be the "work on me first" years. Perhaps you meet that guy during that process, or perhaps its when you feel content with where you are. The bottom line is never stop living life, being you, and chasing your dreams. The right man will find his place along the way. Drew
When I said communication was the key, I was talking about making situations like that work. Ok you fixed that line. But whatever. Trust isn't an issue in my relationship. We were together for over 2 years before I decided I was secure enough and wanted to do something new. Believe me if I was insecure or had trust issues, this situation would have imploded months ago.
I know some women who would. I have a friend whose wife will get upset if he did something like stare at the Rocket Power Dances too long on tv.
Moe was just trying to give you his thoughts on the matter. There wasn't any need for you to do that to his post.
Oh ok, I see your point now. "Yeah sorry baby I won't be able to join you for the movie tonight, 4 very nice african americans invited me to a musical-orifices party" Whatever you want to fool yourself into believing will work, go ahead. My advice is never get married. self-important? You're damn right. Thats what I personally believe and its very important. And If being responsible for my actions is being whipped, I guess there is something very wrong with how you think a relationship should work.
My wife and I do each have a small list of people we are allowed to sleep with. The thing is we know it will never happen so it's ok.
LOL How exactly do you know what kind of arrangement my boyfriend and I have? I don't understand where you take your conclusions from. And the whipped thing was about the delusional comment you made about not thinking of other women in a lustful way. That's great that you're responsible in your relationship. Just because ours is different doesn't mean we're any less "responsible" with it.
Very true. Just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. My fiancee doesn't give a crap if I look at other women. I do it all the time, even in front of her. But I'll always jokingly say something like "that's the 2nd nicest rack I've ever seen...behind yours, of course." She'll laugh and say "good answer." She's secure enough with herself to know that I ain't goin' anywhere.
I'm sorry, this is naive. If you think that for the rest of your life, you will never have 'feelings of horniness' for anybody but that one person, you're deluded. It's common to feel that way during the honeymoon phase. But for decades and decades, to not even feel it? It's a mistake to think that the level of love you feel for someone = the level to which you never feel sexual desire for anyone else. Those feelings happen, and if you deny them it will give them greater power over you. You have to acknowledge it and move on. It what you do about it that counts.
Uh, your birthday thread didn't leave any wiggle room. Not that any of us care. On my 50th my wife took me to Ricks in NO and got a lap dance. The time we spent picking her dancer was the hottest anticipation we will ever have.
