No, I would never allow my wife to do that, even if I could do it once a year as well. Lady_Di, when you meet the right person, you may be attracted to other people, but you won't want to act on it.
Works for guys, but not for gals. Men has the ability to separate physical attraction from love. I can have sex with a girl whom I don't like at all. Women are more emotional oriented when it comes to sex.
Isn't that why people get married? Because they want to be with that one person till death or whatever? The way I see, If you don't think you're going to be with a person forever or be loyal, then don't bother getting married. Marriage is suppose to be a sacred act but nowadays, people just get married for the hell of it. Isn't it crazy that studies show that there is now a 50% chance that you don't even stay together after you get married? I've seen better odds betting on sports!
You obviously don't read a lot of the relationship threads here because a lot of guys here have been screwed over by a lot of women. Usually it's because the woman is....well, a w****. Those numbers are scewed though. I'm pretty sure that the divorce rate among people who get married at age 18 is much higher than the rate for people who get married at 35.
Marriage is a business relationship, predicated on "love". It really depends on the people involved, if they can negotiate the terms and be at understanding with each other from the onset. Then reach a contractual agreement. I don't think humans are "totally" monogamous beings. But in any marriage, it boils down to the needs of the children, the environment you want to bring them up in...
I just ask one thing. That my significant other let me take a seperate vacation once a year to Buenos Aires, Argentina. She can't come along and no questions asked.
People have a right to establish their own rules. If someone wants to have a non monogamous or mostly monogamous relationship more power to em. I know some polyamorous people who seem very happy and well adjusted. I don't really have any physical jealousy when I have a gf, I do monogamy because its expected of me. Course many of my friends who obsess about their wives or girlfriends sleeping with another guy, don't seem to mind that their S.O shares things with her female friends about her inner thoughts and emotional life that she doesn't share with them...that would drive me nuts. So maybe I do get jealous, its just a different thing that sets me off.
Married 33 years. The idea of being married, and the reason sexual temptation causes so many divorces, is that a good marrige is based in absolute trust. It's possible have that with 'benefits' but 95% of all human being's egos couldn't handle the doubt. It's based in the evolutionary imperative. Women must have monogamy to insure that the male will nurture and protect their young. Men have to have it to insure that their efforts are supporting their own progeny. We are hardwired that way. Even in childless marriges and with modern birth control the thought of having to compete sexually to retain your mate is a lot of pressure. I would say for women even moreso because they lose their physical attractiveness over time while men can actually become more attractive as potential providers during their peak earining years. But there is always a dude out there with a bigger dong too. I don't actually know anyone that has a marrige with benefits or even that swings. The idea sounds like a lot of fun to me...but I am 100% sure my wife could not handle it. So I don't bring it up..anymore.
When I was much younger it wasn't a bother. It was actually fun. Met some great people. But those situations were more like a swingers lifestyle than letting a spouse take off by themselves. These days I'm all about growing old gracefully. I'd rather spend the evening at home with my sweetie.
I don't think anyone is really able to say 100% what other people should do in their marriage. If it works for AK47 and his wife, good for them. It wouldn't work for my marriage. I do have some questions though. If she's ok with once a year, why isn't she OK with twice a year? As long as he always comes home to her and she doesn't mind it happening once, why can't he do it any time the Jazz are on the road? It just doesn't seem to make sense to me. If I felt that my marriage just couldn't work unless I was able to sleep with other women, I think I wouldn't get married, or I would end my marriage.
I'll be married for 30 years in less than a month, so it is possible. True, I don't know a lot of people my age who've managed it, but two of our best friends have been married nearly as long. The "fling" thing? It would have to be a threesome... 2 chicks and yours truly.
