A stable of side pieces? No I would not go that far. When I started dating my girlfriend (now she is my wife) she and I were already seeing other people casually. Over the time we were dating, she had numerous other boyfriends or slept with other people. During that time period I was free to date or sleep with other women as well. There were women I dated and casual things. None of the other people either of us dated were ever really serious. The women I was seeing were usually her friends or people she knew. She also was made aware of what was going on. I never insisted on knowing if she was dating or seeing other people but she never hid it from me either. At the end of the day, over time we were always together. We had some fights and sometimes would go our own way for a few weeks but we always were together and have put each other first. As we got older it became less frequent and not so much an issue. I have had girls I have called my girlfriends even over the last few years. One even lived with us, but really we were always open about it with the other people and it never was the same as my wife. Essentially they were people we were friends with that we had sex with. I never thought it was a big deal until one of my friends pointed out to me about a year ago that he couldn't tolerate knowing his wife had slept with other people and I told him I had never thought of it that way. It just doesn't bother me and I cannot ever imagine marrying anyone other than my wife. At the end of the day those other girls were people I liked and was friends with and had sex with and we all kind of knew that. A lot of those other girls were seeing other people when they were with me.
Yep. They started out as a punk band with a different guitarist. Then they brought in Andy and it opened up a whole new song-writing world for Sting. But yeah, Synchronicity is basically a Sting album with Stewart and Andy as his backup band.
Yeah they played rock/ punk clubs kind of like Talking Heads/ REM/ U2 types of early alt band/ college rock -- early Police is definitely a fave of mine I'm not a fan of the Sting stuff at all.
I spelled it out in the post. Not a great play on words, I admit. Nobody said you had to feel sympathy for him but I do.
Sorry I don't feel any sympathy for him. She asked him to stop multiple times what he was doing, he did not, he kept grabbing her and going right back at it. He is lucky that getting called out is all that happened to him. Hopefully he learned from it. I have known guys like that, that keep pushing and pushing and don't take no for an answer...... not a good way to go about it at all.
She could have left at any time and she even admitted she was not forced to do anything. She had agency at all times, she had figured out that he just wanted to get into her pants and she still stayed that's on her. Yes he was a cad but they were both consenting adults and she even said there were moments when nothing was happening, even feminist called her out. She could have handled her business personally and not strap herself to the victimhood alter and publicly shame him because he did not make her his girlfriend.
A lot to unpack here. First, I don't know where the "make her his girlfriend" part came from. She finally left his place and the next day she texted him that he was out of line. I see no indication that she wanted him to be her boyfriend, not to mention even go on a second date. That is some serious projecting right there. Second, yes she could have leaved. She said why she did not, but she could have left and I don't think anyone is saying that he would have prevented from from leaving. She did however multiple times ask him to stop it and he would stop and start again. He even said he wouldn't do it again and ten minutes later he was sticking his hands in her mouth and doing it again. He knew he crossed the line, he isn't stupid. I can understand the misreading signs but not when she tells you to stop because "I don't want to hate you" and "I am uncomfortable"......... especially when he says "then when are you going to have sex with me". He was out of line and he is lucky that he only had an article written about him as it could have been a lot worse. He still is able to work and because of the circumstances around him he has taken less of a back lash than some others. Hopefully he learned from it because he was playing a really dangerous game. Men need to be careful because we can go to prison for stuff like this.
She went to his place and then stayed because she wanted a relationship with him that's not projecting at all it's what people do. You are also taking everything she said to be totally truthful, how do you go from stop I am uncomfortable to performing oral sex and admit he did not force her to do it? If she was actually uncomfortable why did she not leave, when he touched her why did she not leave, when he put fingers in her mouth why did she not leave? She admitted they were making out between these times so it's not like she did not want any physical attention. Why is he lucky, he did nothing malicious you even admitted he asked when are you gonna have sex with me, he also did not text and apologize to her until she had texted him and said she had an issue with night before. You are leaving out a lot about what actually happened here. Some women want agency but also want to be treated with kid gloves. there were no power dynamics in this situation. Yes men can go to prison because of stuff like this and it's why I have a real issue with what she did. This is how I feel on the issue.
its been awhile, but as far as the aziz story went i remember thinking it made him come off as kind of pathetic, sad, desperate and really lacking in game. his incident is definitely not on the level of marilyn manson or weinstein.
Sorry, but no I cannot agree with that. The fact that she went to his place or went out on a date does not mean that she wanted to have a relationship with him. I would argue that the fact she left when he went to get a condom and then texted him the next morning that he was out of line shows that she really did not want a relationship with him. Yes I am because he had an opportunity to respond or contest what she said or even sue her for slander. He did none of those things. He said nothing at all. She explained why she did not in the article, she said she was in shock. I used to not think that was a viable reason but I have heard too many women tell me the same thing in their experiences. When I have worked with the Women's shelter and some of the associated organizations I heard similar things over and over. Making out does not mean that there is going to be sex, and that is part of the problem. Kissing does not mean that there is going to be sex and it shouldn't be assumed. He is lucky that she handled it the way she did and only wrote an article on the topic. She could have sued him, claimed that he assaulted her as well. He is lucky that he has a career still. What he did in the situation was give her all of the power by acting inappropriately and putting himself in a bad situation. Feel free to add whatever I left out. I don't really have an agenda other than to point out that as men we need to be careful with how we behave, if for no other reason than there are dire consequences. When she said no, then he should have stopped. When he said he was going to stop, then he should have kept his word. If he wanted sex at all costs he should have hired an escort. When a woman (or anyone says stop) then you stop. If I remember right they even discussed sex on the second date and not the first, that is enough to know to stop. You don't pressure someone into sex, especially someone you have really just met. It isn't morally right and it also can lead to serious consequences. I have no problem with what she did. She wrote about the date that she had and how she felt pressured and taken advantage of. She did not file assault charges against him and she confronted him about it after she finally removed herself from the situation. If her portrayal wasn't accurate he had every opportunity to state his case and he did not do so. She did not sue him for assault and IMO was pretty clearly bothered by what happened. He is very lucky that he is viewed the way he is and is a progressive because otherwise his career could be over. My hope is that he learns from it and in the future is more careful how he handles himself. I don't think that he is like Marilyn Manson or other people. I believe he is a genuinely for the most part a thoughtful person that really was not careful this time, screwed up and learned from what happened. All men really should read the article and be aware that perhaps some of us cross the line sometimes. I respect your opinion and respect you. I have provided my opinion. All I would say is beware that sometimes how we view things as men is not how women view things. We live in a patriarchy where men have largely made the rules and how men view the world has been the standard and that is no longer necessarily the case. Whether or not someone likes it or not, we have to adapt as the world changes. Respect.
I have firsthand experience with Manson and Reznor. My band played with Manson and also some bands that were associated with Trent. I was around the scene for quite a while. Manson is and always was a first class turd. He used and abused anyone he came in contact with. Anything he could do to further his career he’d do, but then turn around and sh** on that person. Trent included. I have quite a few stories. Trent was really looking to connect with people in his younger years. He made mistakes, but never intentionally hurt anyone. He’s a good dude, a very good dude. He would help whoever he could or had time to help. Manson is just wired all wrong. He’d try to twist you up in all kinds of mess just to watch a situation burn. Hell, he and Corgan did some things to Trent that were not cool at all. Manson getting his karma has been a long time coming.
I have been on side of women before it was cool to do so, I have always respected women as being equal but i also know how vindictive women can be from friends of mine and from personal exp. I have long known that the power dynamics are not equal I have also kept going when a woman said no because when I was young, women who did not say no where thought to be hoes and gave it up to easy even if they wanted to have sex in the 1st place, everybody had to "work for it" I now realize how dangerous and unhealthy that was for both parties. I don't see any grounds that she could legally sue him or claim assault when she admitted he did not force her into anything but I also realize that's the world we live in and him being a high profile person needs to be extra careful, it was also just a bad look for him as a person he looked desperate. Anyway it's ok to have disagreements on particular subjects and it's good to hear opinions from someone you respect. Respect to you as well.
