When I was in college, I dated a girl for about 6 months and then I returned to Houston for the summer. I saw her for a week at the end of the summer and then she went to France for a year-long study-abroad program. In December, she decided to ditch the program early and came back to Chicago. Later, we got married. So, we were separated for about 7 months, except one week in the middle. The relationship worked, but the long-distance part failed.
I dated, got an engaged and then married my wife while while she was four hour drive away. I only saw her on weekends. This took about 8 months. Kinda quick but we were friends while in college so we didn't need much "get to know you" time. We both knew it was right and was really just a matter of formalities. Oh crap...that reminds me, today is my 8th anniversary. Gotta go now and buy something.
I was in one for a year but it wasn't the worst distance - just Houston to Austin. We spent every weekend except one together, as well as breaks on the academic calendar. It did work - nobody cheated or anything, and I got him to relocate after a year (and an ultimatum on my part that I didn't want us to go on like this forever). Not sure if it was smart, ultimately... there was some codependency there and we both should have had more of a life... we also got way too emotional about separating for the week, which was a sign that we probably weren't looking at the whole thing in a mature way. But, whatever, it did work. Rocket G, I think you have a good shot. If it's really the good relationship you believe it is (and I don't see why not), you will communicate frequently and find your way back to each other in terms of living in the same place. Remember the situation is temporary, no matter what, and you still have the rest of your life. If for some reason it doesn't work out, that means it wasn't meant to be and it's just as well you found out sooner.
Had one with a local in Buenos Aires while I was doing a study aroad, then she left for 5 months to france to study, she ended up cheating on me with some French Frogert named Raphael. Gave her hell for doing so when she returned. Cant say though that I was a Priest while she was gone. I mean come on fellows Favorable exchange rate, US passaport, and my own flat. She never found out about my debaucherous behavior and I never told her. Rule of thumb, Never relinquish the higher moral ground.
I didn't think long distance worked, but my best friend is about to marry the girl he dated all through college, and he went to A&M while she went to TCU. They made it work on the weekends and holidays, and now they will soon be married. I have seen many fall apart, especially high school relationships going to college...but I've seen a couple of long distance relationships that started later end up working. Its pretty tough, however.
That was all I heard. If you have been together 9 months and you are ready to relocate, I know you are ready for a serious commitment. If this is something that she has been working toward for a long time (before your relationship), than try to make it work. If she has made these plans during your relationship, move on, because this is more important to her than you and the feeling in your relationship are not equal. Good luck!
Blaaah! They can certainly be rough! Was with my high school "Sweet heart" for a year and a half in high school, then we graduated, both living in New Orleans at the time. I moved to Houston and went to UH for a year while she stayed and went to school in Louisiana... 6 hour drive... saw each other atleast once a month... do-able.... Then I decided to go to UT in Austin and she decided to move to Virginia with her family and go to school there... she cheated on me very shortly after moving there, because she RESENTED me for choosing to go to UT rather than staying closer at UH (also the reason she joined her family in VA). I found out at the end of that first semester and it was shortly over. Overall in the LDR for 1.5 years after living down the street from each other for 1.5 years. I could have managed I think, it wasn't killing me (why I chose to go to UT) even though I loved her like crazy and felt like I wanted to be with her all my life. Unfortunately she was insane, wanted to get married right away and resented me for not putting her over school, even though I had already put her over everything else in my life. So that was the end of that. Learned alot about women/love (IMHO) by the time I was 19.
I know two people in long distance relationships that are engaged. One's Maryland to Texas and the other is Tennessee to Texas. I don't get it. Live in the same town first before you get married.
Once I did for a couple of years. My advice is this: they do not work, so don't even think about it. It's misery.
For my first 2 years of college I was dating some gal in Fort Worth. All the effort I had to put in so that she wouldnt know I was sleeping around on her wasnt worth it. LDR = bad idea
While I wouldn't recommend them, I will say this: I dated a woman on the East Coast while I lived on the West Coast for just over a year. I then moved to the East Coast, and guess what? We got married, and we've been married almost two years now. So we did the cross country thing for about 13-14 months. It was hard but -- obviously -- it was well worth it in my opinion. I do think that age has something to do with it though -- I dated a woman at Stanfurd when I was at Cal in college, and being 45 minutes apart wore us down. I was at a much different point in my life when I met my wife.
Permit me to ask leggo, were you faithful to your boyfriend during this period in spirit and truth? I not trying to judge or single you out but I just want to know if your boyfriend was the only offender here. In essence, did you do anything during this time you talked about that you would not have been proud to tell him? ------------- Men and women approach long distance relationaships differently. My initial advice is do not do it because the philosophical nature on mankind makes it very difficult to work. It is not even advisable for married couple to stay away from each for long periods of time. Long distance robs couples of one of their fundamental needs viz: companionship. But like someone else mentioned earlier, if the distance is a short and temporary one then all is well - both of you can definitely hang in there until the distance is finally "erased". I have been in one before. Nothing really to right home about and my advise to people who love each other so dearly and want to spend the rest of their lives until eternity is to endeavor to close the distance as soon as possible i.e. somebody has to move to the other person's city. This is usually a tall order ladden with the possibilities of disappointment but whatever that is noble and worth doing is worth doing well.
my last three years in college (Dallas) I dating a girl that living in college station and later in Houston. It worked out well for me because I did whatever I wanted (including break up with her my senior year so I could really party)). When I came back after graduation I went to law school here and it was never the same - (we were together in the same city) - so I ended up breaking up for good with her to date ANOTHER girl who was in Dallas and then moved to Lubbock for a job after abot 9 months of that, I asked her to move to Houston (her family lied down here too - so she wanted to get out of Lubbock) she moved here - we dated for a year (in the same city) and then got engaged - we are going on five years this fall .... oh yeah, she is a huge rockets fan too (barry is her favorite player)
I tried it once. Couldn't do it. The relationship was killing me. The distance, the longing, the distance, the-- you know, I didn't realize it, but I'm a needy person.
I dated a girl who lived in Baton Rouge. She was going to LSU. I worked an odd shift where my days off were on Tuesday and Wed. I had grad school on on Tuesday night. For about five months I would get off work on Tuesday, go to class that evening, drive to Baton Rouge from Houston spend a full day, drive back in time to go directly to work in Houston on Thursday morning. It was worth it. She had an even greater sacrifice...she started riding Greyhound to come to Houston to see me...yikes! Think of the cantina scene in Star Wars and you would get a good idea. We did distance dating for about 9 months and then she transferred to U of H and we moved in together. It is difficult to maintain a long distance relationship over the long haul. At some point you have to bite the bullet. We have since got married in Las Vegas and moved to her native New Zealand. If someone is worth it you have to take the gamble and go for it, consequences, or inconvenience be damned.