Your Mom's so large that objects fall toward her at a rate of 9.8 m/s^2 Your Mom is so ugly she looks like Alan Greenspan after a market crash. Your Mom's so ugly, she gets less action than a white guy in the NBA. (or a black guy in NASCAR/The NHL)
Okay, ill be honest. I jacked these from a website i learned about a few years ago. Here are mine. Yo mamma so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of weiners.
Your mama is so fat, when I yell "KOOL-AID" the b**** comes crashing through the wall. Your mama is so fat, she fell off the bed......(pregnant pause - as you listen to the audience moan and groan at what appears to be a bad joke, you spring the punch line)....both sides at the same time.
Yo mamma so short she can sky dive off a credit card. Yo mamma got a weave with a chin strap. Yo momma has a glass eye with a fish in it. Yo momma got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail. Yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept. Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.
Your mom is so fat she sweats Crisco. Your mom is so fat she opened the refrigerator and a mouse threw a biscuit at her.
Yo Mama's so stupid, she heard "End of the Road" on the radio, and stopped the car. Yo Mama's so fat, she wears pillow cases as socks, and uses hula hoops to hold them up. Yo Mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a livin'. Yo Mama's so broke, she can't pay attention. Yo Mama's so fat she rents out shade to the little league bleachers. Yo Mama's so stupid, she got a chain with a cross on it, talkin' 'bout Mohammed saves. Yo Mama's so smart, she wrote a "Yo Mama's so" joke book. Yo Mama's so stank, the flies asked if they could take a shower. Yo Mama's armpit is so hairy, it looks like she got Buckwheat in a head-lock. Yo Mama's so fat, she pulls a chair right up to the buffet. Yo Mama's brain so small, she needs a borrowed molecule to get a cat scan. Yo Mama's so r****ded, slow is actually fast. Yo Mama's so skinny, crack rocks would fill her up. Yo Mama fronts so much, she ain't got a back left. Yo Mama's so outta shape, she makes Yoa Ming look like a Hakeem in '95 playoffs vs. D-Rob. Yo Mama's so stupid, she makes Steve Francis look like Magic Johnson. Yo Mama's so thin-legged, she makes Tracy McGrady's legs look like redwoods in northern California. Yo Mama's so hair is so red, she makes Ronald McDonald jealous. Yo Mama's so fat, she turns 24" rims into 6" squares. Yo Mama's so big, she mad a Escalade look like a Scion. Yo Mama's so huge, we think the Voyager 2 has almost made it once around her. Yo Mama's so fed up with you, she re-named you Marshall. Yo Mama's so full of it, her eyes ooze brown stuff. Yo Mama's so proud of you, she got your name tattooed on her left cheek... no not that one. Yo Mama's so ugly, you gotta feed her with a sling shot. Yo Mama's so ugly, you gotta put a raw t-bone around her neck so she can pet the dog. Yo Mama's so mean, she writes these about herself.
Malcom X t-shirt joke.... funny, still. ------------- Medical & Drug-store Yo Mama's- Yo Mama's so stupid, she thought when her doctor said, "Varicose veins" it meant "blood vessels that are close together." Yo Mama's so stupid, she thought a pap smear was a paternity test. Yo Mama's so stupid, she thought an enema was mouthwash. Yo Mama's so stupid, she thought vaseline was what you put in your car's gas tank. Yo Mama's so stupid, she subscribed to "Runner's World" after she had diarrhea. Yo Mama's so stupid, she took a muscle relaxer during a heart attack. Yo Mama's so stupid, she popped some speed during a heart attack. Yo Mama's so stupid, she thought the surgeon general fought in Vietnam. Yo Mama's so stupid, the doctor asked, "Do you know your blood type?" She replied, "red." Yo Mama's so stupid, her blood pressure was 120 over "Duh." Yo Mama's so stupid, they asked her for a stool sample, and she brought back an ottoman. Yo Mama's so fat, when the nurse took her weight the scale read, "One at a time please." Yo Mama's so stupid, when the nurse said, "Okay, I'm going to take your pulse." She replied, "Don't I need it for myself?" Yo Mama's so stupid, when the nurse said, "Okay, take a deep breath for me." She replied, "Where?" Yo Mama's so stupid, she asked a pharmacist's assistant where he went to medical school. Yo Mama's so stupid, she gave blood to the blood bank... in a paper sack. Yo Mama's so stupid, she watched "Patch Adams" for the pirates. Yo Mama's so stupid, she watches "ER" in hopes of not seeing somebody she knows being treated in a life and death situation. Yo Mama's so stupid, she thinks "Scrubs" is a documentary on the life of a bench warmer in the NBA. Yo Mama's so stupid, her doctor told her to "cut back" on the chocolate cake, so she slices it the other way now. Yo Mama's so fat, her body fat percentage test came back at 105%. Yo Mama's so fat, her stress test came back as a black piece of paper. Yo Mama's so large, the hospital put her on the roof in a Malcolm X t-shirt... And we start anew....
