Why are your friends or your parents not talking you out of this?? It's obvious that you're not seeing all the danger signs that this "relationship" has, it's some how blinded you.. Be careful, after reading your account of the situation I've come to the conclusion that.. <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dddAi8FF3F4&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dddAi8FF3F4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
No offense, but the bolded part made me laugh. Changing one's myspace page is a sure sign of a SERIOUS SERIOUS commitment.
Things that make me think you both are way too immature to consider getting married: You already have kids. Plural. You have to live in separate places because you can't stop fighting. She makes up lies?? She pretends not to hear you. You don't want her to make it "official" by changing her Myspace. You use Myspace. You cry about your problems on the internet. You cry about your problems to her mom. You don't have enough balls to not say ". . . but I understand if you don't want to get married." To name a few.
have you not been reading all the alarm bells going off in this thread alone? she doesnt want to go public?... not good...
I am thinking they have warned him before and he keeps going back for more. At a certain point I am sure his friends/family have just given up and let him do his thing. Reading his last post about all the red flags and he STILL proposed to her tells me alot. It is like he is going to try everything he can to get this girl. I have seen it before. A friend of mine was with a girl he should NOT have been with. He first stopped hanging out with his friends, then started doing everything she was into, then let her make decisions for him, he did everything to surrender to her so she would be with him. It worked for a few months, the problems started again. So he hurried up and bought her a ring and proposed. They got married, 8 months into it they were going to get divorced because she was out partying with guys from work when she was telling him she worked late. So did he leave her? No, he got her pregnant thinking it would calm her down. Nope. He was sitting at home playing mr mom while she partied. As incredible as it sounds, I think "Realjad" might be worse off than my friend. He really needs to stop worshipping this chic and actually get some self-respect.
No girl is worth all these games...come on dude.......you know in your heart it is not right, just reading your posts you can tell. If you are determined to go through with it, don't set a date for the wedding, plan for a prolonged engagement so that you guys can be TOTALLY sure.... DD
Please God answer this question: Are these your biological children? (If not you should run as fast as possible) If they are you need to work out a visitation schedule.
Realjad, listen to me very closely. 1. Love is not an emotion, and it's not a feeling. It's a conscious action. Emotions are temporary and have no place in a marriage decision. They're nothing but chemicals and hormones altering your normal brain functions so that you can get laid and reproduce. Forget everything you see in movies, forget what you see in ads, forget that bullcrap you see on Grey's Anatomy and other TV shows. They are lies. All lies. This is an exclusive contract you are entering into with another person for the rest of your life. 2. Love is not blind. In fact, love REQUIRES both eyes fully open with better than 20/20 vision. You had better know what the heck you're doing, and you had better evaluate everything, get an outside opinion, etc. Ignore danger signs at your own peril. If you think breaking up a relationship at this stage is hard, you have no idea what torture awaits you in a divorce situation. Not to mention the emotional damage and disruption you will inflict on your children. Red flags, red flags everywhere. Dude, rescind this proposal NOW. And don't do it again until both of you have sorted out your issues completely. You may even need counseling at this point.
Son, you'd be a fool not to break off this engagement. You're setting yourself up for a life of pain. A life of real pain.
LOL! This story is hilarious, I want to make a youtube movie, Im sure the original characters will want to be a part of it. This is something else, this dude is indecisive and he doubts her so much, but the worst part is he has reason to. Please don't get married, with the economy going down it will get worse, not only will you have to change your orientation on myspace, but your salary amount as well.
I'm positive they're not his. He's mentioned that they are her kids and they like him a lot. Still... I'm with everyone else in this thread. PLEASE consider what people are telling you. You will be miserable. Breaking off the proposal is much easier than getting a divorce after lots of heartache. Let her go. I know it'll be hard, but if she's not 100% happy and elated right now, she'll never be.
Yeah, that's the most concerning thing about all this. Not knowing the people involved personally and just going off of what I've read, I think I agree with the consensus.
I gotta agree with most everyone here. I'm not sure I could have married someone who didn't say yes right away and basically treated it as the most exciting thing in her life. Not only did that not happen for you, she allegedly didn't remember the initial proposal. I have to call bulls*** on that. In the end, though, you need to make sure for yourself that what you are doing is right for you. If you walk away, you will probably lose her forever. However, that pain will be temporary when you consider what it might be should you get married and it falls apart.
Thanks a lot everyone. In reality I do know what all these red flags mean, it is just a very tuff situation. I do care for her and she has a lot of growing up to do even though she is the best mother (one of the kids I'm 'Dad' too which she said I treated them differently) One's a boy and one's a girl both in different ages of course I'll treat them differently since ones getting prepared to go to school, I'll love them both in different ways but love them the same. I know all the warning signs it's just extremely tuff because I do care for her and know she won't find anyone as desired or prepared as I am. Seems she wants her cake and eat it too. It's crushing, 90 percent says stop and get out but 10 percent says it's a phase and stick by her. My job with the economy going to **** is secure luckily.. Though I've lost allott of my investments haha
