Exactly. Your gut feeling is based on everything you have seen and heard from this person. We often try to ignore the gut feeling because we want to live in our fantasy world where everything works out.
Don't pick up the ring.... nooooooo. .. can you put the ring on hold and just tie a string around her finger until she proves herself?
I don't know, man. Getting married is every little girl's dream, something like a proposal would wake any woman up, regardless of how tired she is. Turning over and going to sleep immediately isn't close to a normal reaction. On top of that, telling you to go back to your place wasn't normal either. For future reference, you shouldn't have asked. Personally, her behavior/reaction to your proposal was unacceptable. You obviously feel the same way, but you are choosing to encourage her by letting it slide. Anyway, from the sounds of it, she owns you. If you're that type of guy, and can live that kind of life, then by all means, go be happy with her. Love is grand, but never at the cost of your manhood.
Seriously, don't get the ring anymore. She doesn't remember? She's obviously conflicted about this. If I got proposed to in the bed, I would have woken up! I have been proposed before my fiance and I turned that guy down flat. Maybe she didn't want to say no to avoid hurting your feelings. Like someone said, don't force it. Move on and let things fall in the place. For some reason, I think you'll just go ahead and do it anyway.
To LadyDi ^^ there's kids involved and she knew I was already building our foundation as if we we're going to be with each other for the long haul. We always joked about Ring Pops. We have talked about money, we have talked about everything but have held our self back for the knowingly forthcoming 'engagement ring'. I always gave signs I was going to ask right around the corner and she always got so excited but I never did I was biding my time. I feel now that I have its to late. I already payed for the ring, a little over 2 grand and I regret it already. Aha I'm such a sucker I swear, I can make no mention of marriage again, see how things work out, hold on to the ring if it does workout. Is this possible or have I gone to far already? Quite honestly I don't regret the ring, It proved to myself how much I gave and cared for her.. I was working over consistently (took a very noticeable toll) and sold some personal belongings that meant the world to me to get it. Vice-Versa I can careless now, I want to move forward in my life.
wait...i'm confused. are you the guy who opened a thread about three weeks ago saying she left you, it was over with, and you didn't know what to do with yourself? or, was that someone else? i can't keep up with all the drama. sorry.
Yep, that was him. http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?t=158070 That took a lot of balls to post that youtube video.
Dude you gotta make up your mind. I'm not a married man, have never proposed, but I don't think the way you are having many mixed emotions as well as her is helping. You've already asked though and you mentioned it again. I think you just got yourself in a big mess and this could cause problems if you try to back out but then again you must consider your own future. I hope everything works out for you because you sure got yourself in some sort of trouble there.
I gotta say, the way you describe your relationship and its history throws all sorts of alarm bells, but if she's the love of your life, then some things are worth pursuing. If I get you right, she was expecting you to propose before the incident, but after it, she's guarded and protective of herself? How did you get back together? Were promises made? IMO, if you are certain she is the one for you, and you have the impression she was certain you're the one for her, then you're going to have to push all those doubts about her using you as backup and use that restless energy spent on thinking on something more productive... like proposing to her the way you fantasized and one you think is deserving for her. Old fashioned or not, women like confidence and they can smell your self doubt a mile away. You never gave her a definitive proposal. To tell you the truth, it sounded like a half assed thought. And for all she knows, she's afraid that you proposed in the heat of emotion and now pride is covering up something you can't take back. End all doubt and uncertainty. It'll be good for the both of you because if the both of you can't answer your own doubts about each other, how are you supposed to stand as a couple against the doubts outside your relationship? Show her that your love operates on all levels...That you are in control of your feelings and desires (even if you're not)... and she will respond back. Hey, she could be right that it could be too fast after the incident, but it was you who decided to propose. Now you have to take control and responsibility to set the tone. If only to reign in the emotional instability imploding in the back of your mind. Only if you mean half of the things you're saying and are truly up for the sacrifice. ...and whether she says yes or no, the both of you need some guidance. Too much internalized baggage and not enough communication.
After reading this thread (and the previous one he made) I took a look at my worst relationships and smiled.
Unfortunately, most of us have had relationships we stayed in a bit longer than we should've, but simply lacked the perspective to realize it. Or had the ability to walk away knowing that the inevitable void of a failed relationship was waiting for us -- at least temporarily. Most of the time these complicated machinations that we rationalize as simply "mis-communications" or "rough spots" are so much more than that. And I think we sorta know it deep down inside, also. Every time I see these relationship threads, they all seem to read the same way, whether it be (I think) RM95's (?) different situations or those of other posters. Unfortunately these things all tend to end the same way, and it sucks. I hope OP maintains enough clarity so simply make good choices, because life is way too short to live unhappily.
Were you laying in bed after gettin some or not? That makes a big difference. You don't want baby batter on the brain when making decision like that.
MAKE SURE SHE NEVER READS THAT! you need to get your stuff together man. one second you say you all in it, the next you say you regret it, and then you dont regret it. Im so confused, but prob not as much as you are with your relationship. just play everythin slow, yall just broke up and now you proposin to her? i have 2 sisters that have been married/engaged this year alone, one of whom is engaged to our very own Stack24, and they sure as hell did not go to sleep right after next time you pop that question or whatever you do, make sure there is somethin romantic about it, and you are sure, because im thinking she thought it was a dream, because it was not the way she would have thought someone would have proposed to her...and then ask her the questions you did right after..makin that the worst dream she wished she didnt.
OK Buddy: I have asked this question in the last thread, but i never got an answer. ARE THESE YOUR BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN?
So she accepted, there's still some issues we want to work through but we're committed to try to work them out you can't change feelings. Our families are aware and it hasn't quite 'hit' her yet. She said she can't wear the ring to her job because of the job she does and last night had the nerve to tell me 'Lets wait until we have time to talk before we go public with it' so around the weekend after Christmas. Whats this mean? Are my worst fears about the guys at work true? You know before she started that job she was addicted to me, every time we'd argue and I'd go up to see her at work she'd have a bracelet or something on her that reminded her of me. I feel expendable now and not many things have hurt more then the 'Lets wait before we make it public so don't go around telling everyone or changing your myspace yet.' I never thought she was the type to play games but here I am thinking there's an evil side or something. It seems she's a different person now then before. She never lied to me before in our relationship but here's the 3 lies that I've caught her in. 1. She thought I was asleep one night while I was talking to the kids, the next day she told me I was cussing them out in my sleep and she saw the pain in my eyes.. She thought the pain in my eyes was because I 'cussed' the kids out when it was there because I knew she was lieing for no other reason then to hurt me. 2. The night I proposed, she told me she didn't remember a thing about the previous night. I said 'How do you not remember I proposed?', she said 'I thought that was a dream!'. She accepted another proposal. I was talking to her mother at her house when she called her, I had her mom ask her what happened last night and she told her 'He proposed, I love him I'm just scared'. I asked her if she really didn't remember the night before and she told me 'No I really didn't, my mom asked me and I told her I don't remember a thing'. 3. Not a lie for sure but she says the guys she works with are just 'friends' yadda yadda yadda. It's odd she wants to keep our 'engagement' a secret or private until the end of the month. I told her she's clearly not ready for this commitment and she disagreed. Im one of the most self-dependant people you'll ever meet yet I gave her my weakness something I've never given to anyone. Now I feel played with and I'm in an engagement.
