Welcome to the club. It happens to most of us at least once. The key is not falling into the "woe is me" pity trap. Take a breather, exercise a bit, shake it off, then get back in the saddle and...
Relax, go enjoy life, find someone else who makes you happy and you make her happy. Be glad this happened before you had kids and screwed their lives up with divorce. DD
Let go. You want to be with someone who 100% wants to be with you anyway. Work on yourself, find joy in the small things and keep moving forward. You will find your right person.
N = 1000+ can verify. Build indifference into your DNA. It’s amazing how the second you do they can’t stop hitting you up to get back together talk to 3+ chicks at all times, have fun and keep it chill. If it turns into something great. This is what I told my now fiance when we met. The above method also filters out the crazy/hoes
Look at it like this - you were with her for three years and you already fought with her 5 times in the last 3 months. How do you think it would have been in another 10 years? **** builds up in a relationship - you all hit your level at 3 years, better than most but not good enough for marriage. Also think about all the times you ****ed up and how much you have learned. Think about how much wiser you are about knowing your weaknesses and what you do and do not want in a relationship. I strongly suggest you take down all of her stuff and the pictures. You can save a few but you need to make that YOUR place, not you and her’s place. If you find yourself lonely or sad or weak, surround yourself with people to distract you so more time goes by. Try doing some things you didn’t do when you were in a relationship. Workout and change your lifestyle some, it will give you more self confidence and help with being sad. After a month to a year, you may find that you don’t want a long term relationship but want to have short term relationships for awhile so you can see what is out there or what you do or do not like. Before my wife I had my heart broken by a pixie trollop. Neither one of us were perfect, and in hindsight it wasn’t meant to be. She liked to be slapped during sex and have cigarettes put out on her breasts - I was uncomfortable with it. However I learned what I thought I wanted isn’t actually what I wanted - and I was better prepared to be a good person for when I met my wife.
Damn sorry to hear that. I agree with the other advice offered. Move on and work on yourself. It’s going to be difficult because you’ve thought of yourself as part of a couple but now are going to have to think of yourself as single. Best thing you can do is improve yourself and make the most out of your life.
Sorry to hear dude, lots of good advice in here, don't do what I did, I swore her off and then one night as I was drowning my sorrows and I called her drunk as a skunk, tried it again and then we realized why we broke up.................after that it was a clean break and never saw her again............it was a win for both of us
Reminds me of this quote, which I’ve always thought was a great metaphor for dating until you meet the right one. “Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of **** smelling foulness I can’t even imagine, or maybe I just don’t want to. Five hundred yards… that’s the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.” — The Shawshank Redemption (1994), screenplay by Frank Darabont, short story by Stephen King
All "breaks" need to be permanent. There's a reason things are so bad you BOTH want out. When it's right, it's simply isn't that hard.
As I have gotten older and more experienced - I have concluded that we as a society have done a real disservice to young people. There is this idea that people need to be married and have children - or be in a long term relationship. The truth is that a lot of people do not need these things, or deep down even want them. We need to find out who we are as people - and not go out into the world looking for the love of our life, because when we have that goal - the odds are long, and we see a lot of people end up settling and lie to ourselves and claim that isn't what we have done - and overtime some get used to the status quo and do not want any change, so they stay in a mediocre relationship. I have been with my spouse for over 20 years now, and for most of those years I have been happy with no desire to leave - but it has been a lot of work, and it still is a lot of work - and I and my spouse have sacrificed and made a lot of concessions to remain together. This is true for every couple. As I have gotten older, and seen friends and their relationships (people save the worse parts of their relationships for private), I have concluded that the overwhelming majority of them would be happier single. We also do not live in the 1950's - if someone wants a child, there is no reason that two people with adequate means cannot co-parent, and not be attached beyond that bond. In my case I would not go back in time and not be with my spouse - I have learned a lot from them, and I love them very much and many different ways - but it is also a lot different than young people or the inexperienced think it will be. The relationship you have with your spouse after 20 years is different than it is after a year or even 10 years. I really suggest people be responsible and respectful - but they shouldn't put any pressure on themselves to have a long-term girlfriend or spouse. Go where life takes you and pursue your passions, and don't give a damn what others think of your relationship status.
Nice post Nook, I made the mistake into thinking after college the first thing I needed to do was start the American dream and get married and start a career, that's what my folks did, that's what my grandparents did and there we are super happy people. Married my college sweetheart and as soon as we landed from our honeymoon, I knew I made a huge mistake, I was not ready for this. It lasted one year to almost the day we got married. Life was going great, after 10 years I was with love of my life #2, so I said hey, I am older now and I can do this..............nope, got married and it lasted a year also. I came to realize I am not the marrying type and once I realized that I was so much happier, I now have a GF who has her own place and career and I have plenty of nieces to spoil. There are positives and negatives to both scenarios and the point is, find your own path, it doesn't need to be what people tell you it should be.
