when I was married, we had a joint account...the problem with that was, we didn't have our own seperate accounts, which meant, she didn't write crap down and we were always out of balance... If ever I marry again, and that's a big IF, joint on bills only with both people contributing, but seperate for play stuff...
If I am understanding it right, that's not how it works. Account 1 has $5000 deposited monthly from work Account 2 has $5000 deposited monthly from work Account 1 deposits $2000 in joint account for bills and Account 2 deposits $2000 in joint account for bills. Each account still has $3000 left with only one person having access to that account to do as they wish.
You don't always agree on whats a worthwhile expense. $100 shoes may seem ridiculous to him, and $60 video games may seem ridiculous to her.
That's funny, we do it the exact same way. We even have the $100 rule. No need to discuss anything less than $100 but anything over that we will at least inform each other. I don't need my wife's permission to buy a new snare drum, but I will at least have the courtesy to let her know I'm doing it. I certainly don't need to hide it from her by having my own checking account, since we're both adults.
Yeah. I get that piece. What I'm saying is, at least in Texas, it's all their money... even if it's in separate accounts. I guess if you're worried that your other half will splurge and use up all the joint money. But they have access to it still so it could still happen, no?
Legally it is their money as well and I am sure if it ever came to that then sure they would have access but why would they have access to your account when they have access to their own?
i've seen what my girlfriend spends her money on. if that money were coming out of "our" bank account, we'd be fighting everyday. her money she can do whatever she likes.
Exactamundo. It's not a matter of asking for permission. It's a matter of courtesy, a matter of respect, a matter of wanting her to be involved in as many aspects of my life as possible. She doesn't game. But she takes joy in me enjoying it. So letting her know I'm looking forward to Dead Space 2 or something, allows her to enjoy my enjoyment/anticipation. If that makes sense.
... So by having it in another account you will be more agreeable to the purchase? Or is it that by having it another account you will be able to purchase things that you can hide from her/vice versa?
So is that the reasoning? Your SO isn't responsible enough or you are not? So you make sure that you have separate money in case they blow all your joint account money?
Uhhh... it's separate. My wife and I have had separate since we've been together, but it's not like we've decided. I take care of the larger bills and when a credit card is completely paid off (say, a vacation was charged on a credit card), someone pays for that while the other moves money from one account to the other to help out. You should NEVER have separate accounts if you don't trust each other. It's just a recipe for disaster. Deposit accounts for our 2 kids are together.
But if you were married, all the money would be 'yours' together. And then you would separate 'your' money into 3 separate accounts, where she could be spending 1/3 of 'your' money and you could be ignorantly blissful of it. But in the end it's still the same pile, no matter how you slice it.
And now you're still saving and she's still spending. The pile of money is the same size... just separated into different accounts.
We have joint checking/savings/moneymarket accounts. We do have separate credit cards (we had them before we were married) but I am the one who pays them all so it isn't as if I don't know what she's spending.
These posts are baffling yet fascinating. "My wife is a spender I am a saver" "We wouldn't get along if we saw each other's spending" So really this seems like a solution to "One of us is irresponsible and/or controlling and we can't get our finances in order. The only way I/She can spend money on the things we want is if we can keep it from each other." The money is still coming from the same place, but at least now you can buy a p*rn subscription without telling her. Am I getting it?
We have a joint account - but we have a written budget each month, and we allot CASH for blow money. We also keep seperate envelopes of cash for each of the following categories: Groceries, Gas, Special Occasions (birthdays gifts, mothers day etc), and Christmas. The amounts were all agreed upon with the budget...if we run out of grocerie cash, then we don't go to the crocerie store until we get paid again. Its a strict budget, but it keeps us from accruing debt. We rarely use the debit card for anything & when we do, it has been agreed upon by both of us. For our Christmas envelope, we take a small amount of cash out of each paycheck to fund our Christmas spending..that way when Christmas comes around, we already have the cash to completely cover the gifts, tree, etc. 25$ out of each of my paychecks & $50 out of the wifes (she only gets paid once a month) gives us $1200 at Christmas. We don't have any credit cards. 60% of divorces are due to money fights/money issues. Its important to get on the same page about finances BEFORE you get married.
Maybe it is the reasoning for some, everybody has different reasons. That is not the reason I decline a joint account.
Joint. If one of us goes bankrupt, we both go bankrupt ...so what's the point? We trust each other and don't nitpik each other's expenes. It works cause we both respect $$$ and have never had overly excessive purchases. For us, tracking multiple accounts simply represents extra complexity to my life.
