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Job rant/encouragement needed

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by NewRoxFan, Mar 1, 2011.

  1. NewRoxFan

    NewRoxFan Contributing Member

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    I feel weird complaining, in part because so many are unemployed, and of course the over the internet thing, but...

    I work in the computer industry. I am over 50, have a wife and kids, a nice house, I am pretty smart, I think I work hard. My job is in corporate communications, which usually means it has high visibility and impact on the success of the company(ies) I work for. And usually high visibility and impact means high stress. I have been doing it for over thirteen years. I relocated here to take a position years ago with a Houston-based company, and left that company to take a position with a smaller firm that eventually was acquired and led to a layoff, which led me to another small company, which I left to join a larger company, which led to another layoff in December of 2008. Since then I have had two contract positions, a part-time position for 6 months (filling in for someone on maternity) and the current (full-time) contract position I have had for the past 7 months.

    I hate it. Literally hate the job. I work most nights (company is based in California), some weekends. I support two business units, one which I enjoy working with (and they like my work), the other I can't stand (and they dislike me and complain about my work).

    The stress I feel is constant. I wake up at 3am most nights, just worrying about or stressing over work. I dread opening up email in the morning, and I have answering the phone.

    Worse, since it is a contract position I don't get benefits. I pay out of my own pocket (health coverage, dental, vision, disability, and life). One of my kids was born with a heart defect so I need to buy hers through the Texas High Risk Pool at $500/mon for just the barest of coverage. While I tried to factor in benefits costs in my contract pay I underestimated and as a result we have had to pull from savings to cover bills, adding to my hatred of the job and stress. We carefully shop around food, clothing needs, school activities, etc. My wife works part-time for a preschool so she doesn't get benefits.

    I have applied for permanent jobs elsewhere (including outside of Texas). Most times I get the polite computer-generated form email. Came close two months ago, but came in #2 (and that seemed to be a killer in terms of timing). I try to put on a positive front, especially around my wife and kids, but the stress is breaking through, and besides, they are feeling the brunt of the financial challenges.

    And I look at myself, and question everything I do. At work, I worry about each move I make, each decision, each email. A home, I worry about each thing I say. I work remotely (there is a sales office I occasionally work out of, but in 7 months I have spoken to two people there). I have come close to quitting almost constantly but without unemployment I worry how I would pay bills to the extent I can do so now. I talk with friends and they have their own work challenges. So I try to continue the positive exterior. Which only adds more stress. And I worry about what I have brought about for my wife and kids... how I am failing them. Which adds more stress.

    I am sorry to unload here. I reckon the anonymity of the internet. I am open to advise and encouragement (and probably the kick in the tail).
     
  2. Tigerknee

    Tigerknee Contributing Member

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    Well in this economy, you're lucky to have a job. I know you already pointed that out but always remember things can be a lot worse.

    Just hang in there and keep looking for something. I wish you the best of luck.
     
  3. rhadamanthus

    rhadamanthus Contributing Member

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    I'm sorry about your situation. You're not alone. The economy is weird at the moment, and I'm not so sure how much it can or will improve. If I worked in your field, I'd poke around for you here at the office but as I don't, all I can offer is my condolences and best wishes for the future.
     
  4. dmc89

    dmc89 Member

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    Sorry to hear about your daily grind, NewRoxFan.

    Is there any way for you to move to a different job using your contacts within the PR industry since you have so many years of experience? Something like working for the govt (State Dept or a political campaign) or a non-technical job in print/broadcast journalism?
     
  5. boomboom

    boomboom I GOT '99 PROBLEMS
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    Keep a positive attitude. And definitely keep looking. There are jobs out there. Even here in Vegas (where Nevada has the highest unemployment rate), jobs are starting to appear again. And sometimes to land a new job, you have to re-invent yourself to some extent. Be creative in what you are looking for. Stray a little outside of your comfort zone. You never know when you'll find the right employer who is looking for you.

    Good luck and keep your head up. Look to your family for strength.
     
  6. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Contributing Member

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    You are doing your best to take care of them, so you are NOT "failing" them.

    Your kids love you and they don't give a crap about what you do for a living. They just want you to be there for them, so concentrate all your energy on doing that and try to leave the job stress at work where it belongs. Use your family as a refuge from all the crap you have to put up with at work.

    Just hang in there until the economy starts to come back around and you can find something better. And if you need some perspective, why don't you read this thread...
     
  7. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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    I read your post a few times. It sounds like you're depressed. Not 'I feel depressed today', but really depressed.

    Here's the truth of life. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Otherwise you're just sticking your finger in every hole in the dam until it bursts. Wouldn't you agree that you need a good solid foundation for your home? In life, that's you. Take care of yourself, then you can concentrate on your family and work.

    Sit your wife down and tell her that you need help. Put work on auto-pilot. Do things that make you happy - hobby, exercise, you-time...whatever you need. Get healthy, eat right, do some kind of exercise, even if it's taking an extra flight of stairs.

    You may think that it's super selfish to take this approach, but once your base is whole and healthy, everything around you will flourish because you are truly happy. If your job doesn't improve, you won't care as much, because you're happy with yourself. But it will improve because your perspective will change. Your relationships with your family will improve. Your life will change for the better.

    Good luck.
     
    2 people like this.
  8. Manny Ramirez

    Manny Ramirez The Music Man

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    NewRoxFan,

    I read your post and it eerily reminded me of my own life except I am unemployed. Yup, that's right - I am jobless (well for full-time work that is). I was debating on whether or not of sharing that with the board because you see, unlike you, I am not completely anonymous here. I have met some people on this board in-person and having been on this site for over 10 years, you can ruffle some feathers. At any rate, February came and went and for the first time since January of 2000, I didn't work a single day in that month. This experience has been a humbling one and depressing one, but I have been keeping my spirits up. My faith in God and Christ as well as the support of my wife, parents, in-laws, and the rest of my family have kept me going. Still it stings to know that I was let go by a place. I am several months from turning 38 and this is the first time (and hopefully the last time) that this has happened to me. Of course, it sucks that I left my old job that I had for over 10 years for a place that didn't work out; however, the new place did offer me a 50% increase in pay. The lesson learned here is that a job that pays more money (sometimes significantly more) isn't necessarily the better job.

    My wife, believe it or not, works part-time at a preschool like your wife. And I have a son that has been labelled as "special needs" - he is barely over 2 and is behind in many areas (there have been whispers that he has Asperger's syndrome). If there was ever someone who needed benefits and especially health insurance, it is my family. Yet, we just got a policy that is in essence a castraphotic (sp?) policy - 6 months waiting period and I think 12 months before pre-existing conditions set in - yea, it sucks donkey balls like you wouldn't believe.

    But God took care of a problem I had by getting me out of that job and he will take care of me in finding a new job - it will be on his time, though and that is what makes waiting and patience so hard.

    I would network if I was you and see if you can find something better. Determine how far you are willing to commute - if you get a good job, you won't mind the drive. Also, this is the time to really ask your spiritual life if it is willing to be tested. Good luck and hang in there.
     
    #8 Manny Ramirez, Mar 1, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2011
    1 person likes this.
  9. pugsly8422

    pugsly8422 Contributing Member

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    A couple of years ago I tried to end my life. I've been depressed all my life due to a rough childhood, had/have pretty much no friends and have always had a very low self esteem. I know what it's like to be down on life and down on yourself. To be honest, I haven't changed much to this day, except I've been taking anti-depressants, which have helped a bit, although there are days that are worse than others. Try to focus on the good things in life, be thankful you have what you have and continue to do your best for yourself and your family. Be patient, continue to apply, maybe even go to an agency to interview and let them find something for you. That's how I got my current job. You sound like a great person, and good things happen to good people. I wish you the best, keep your head up, focus on the positives, and you'll come out on top.

    Pugs
     
    2 people like this.
  10. tamericus

    tamericus Contributing Member

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    After reading many of the posts in this thread, it's amazing how you sometimes tend to forget about the person behind the computer.

    We all have struggles in life and each our own circumstances, and I thank you guys for posting because it's reassuring that we're not alone in our problems.

    Anyways, I'll definitely throw some prayers out for everyone that has posted.
     
  11. Prince

    Prince Member

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    The good news is you have a family to go home to.

    I got laid off once and without enough savings but the thought of spending more time with my 1yr old baby boy kind of overcame the negative things of being laid off. Was lucky also I have relatives and great friends who helped me recover.

    There's no such thing as bad job. The most important thing is having a good family and relationships.
     
  12. Al Calavicci

    Al Calavicci Contributing Member

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    Just take what life savings you have and pick up and move to an exotic beach somewhere down south. Don't tell your family where you're going - they'll just be jealous of the happiness you're gonna have. Everyone always looks down on the people who abandon their family and responsibilities, but they're usually asking those on the receiving end of desertion. No one asks the deserter how great it is. Just run away.
     
    2 people like this.
  13. thegary

    thegary Contributing Member

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    ^is this a joke:confused:
     
  14. bnb

    bnb Contributing Member

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    Good luck NRF. You sound depressed. Keep your head up (take a break from the Rockets), embrace the support of your family and try to address it somehow. Sending you what clutchfans mojo I can.
     
  15. bnb

    bnb Contributing Member

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    thegary's signature answers his own question....
     
  16. G0 R0CKETS

    G0 R0CKETS Member

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    Everyone goes through hard times ....its how you deal with it that makes you who you are.

    If youre in a bad spot stay persistent in finding a way out of it...eventually you will.
     
  17. david12sfa

    david12sfa Member

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    Keep your head up bro. I have been out of work for 8 months now and it does get hard to stay positive. I just keep reminding myself that I have a great family and friends which offer nothing but support. I hope it works out for you and the rest of us which find ourselves in a bad spot.
     
  18. NewRoxFan

    NewRoxFan Contributing Member

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    Thanks to everyone that has posted. Yes, I am really depressed. Last night I woke up at 3am and tossed and turned. Seems to happen more and more often (I turn on the radio and listen to JT or this AM Ben Maller's show).

    Manny, I especially appreciate you sharing your situation. I was out of work for a year before finding the part-time contract (and that was 10-15 hrs per week). I was actually on jury duty for a capital murder case when I interview for my current contract (and for a permanent opportunity in CA that I didn't get). I have interviewed for positions in OH, MA, PA, WA, and CA. I came closest to a position in Austin and the position in January was in Plano. Commuting wouldn't be an issue, my current contract involves an hour plus drive as did my last permanent job.

    David, I also hope the best for you and your search.

    I have tried to maintain my network of contacts throughout, and they have been supportive. But I am not in PR so the number of opportunities are even more limited (compounded by not be in the O&G industry). I have attended various BJMs in the area and share news of opportunities with others I know that are also looking. I even searched the Work in Texas web site for any marketing jobs in Texas (whoa, times are tougher here than when I was laid off).

    I do a appreciate how great my wife and kids have been. My oldest is a junior in high school and her needs are starting to increase. My youngest is in AAU basketball, which is another money stress. But both have been great about holding back on their "wants" the past few years. My family is a blessing.

    I am trying my hardest to be positive and patient... but as someone that has worked for over thirty years, I am often at a loss for what to do next. Folks here have been very kind to me... I hope I can someday return that kindness.
     
  19. Hippieloser

    Hippieloser Contributing Member

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    Just remember, luck can change fast.

    Last year, I was working various Web freelance gigs writing content and scratching out a living. I was largely working from home and going completely stir crazy with no insurance or benefits of any kind, living in constant financial stress. I decided that I didn't like it, so I started combing the 'net for job leads every single day (I was used to looking for work online, being a freelancer). One day on Craigslist of all places I found a writing gig that was well-suited to my experience and contacted the headhunter who placed it. A week later, I was hired at a new full-time contractor gig that payed me double what all of my freelance gigs were pulling in. In the past six months, I got a fantastic Christmas bonus and two raises. I like the people I work with and my office is 10 minutes from my (brand new) apartment. It rules.

    I was certainly lucky to get this gig, because I'm not uniquely qualified or anything. There are thousands of people in Houston who could do it equally as well. I was lucky in that I was the first guy to call about it, I had a great resume, and I do well in interviews. But none of that would have mattered if I hadn't committed myself to finding new work that paid me what I was worth. Hustling for a new gig is no guarantee, but if you aren't hustling, you'll never do any better than you're doing now. The era of pensions and company loyalty is long over. Get some professional help with your resume and cover letters and keep sending those bad boys out until you find the right gig. When your lucky day comes around, make sure you're ready to kill it with every fiber of your being because YOU DESERVE IT.
     
  20. rocketsjudoka

    rocketsjudoka Contributing Member
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    NewRoxFan;

    I feel for you and I am dealing with some similar problems. At the moment my current field, architecture, is in terrible shape. From what I have heard about half of the profession is unemployed. I am not but that is only because as a business owner I cannot go onto unemployment so in that sense its worse given how little work we are getting.

    Given that I have been trying to broaden my skill set and also what type of work I can do. I have also figured out that I am probably going to have to leave the US to get any significant work. While I don't have any kids I have other family and personal obligations that I am going to have to deal with but going destitute isn't going to help with those.

    Unfortunately I don't have any good advice I can give you except to stay positive. Its difficult but as long as you stay positive you can keep on going. Also find some way to find some balance in your life that can help take off stress and take your mind off of the frustration with your work situation. Martial arts and music are the two things that help me.

    Also this isn't directed at you but wanted to comment on this part of your post.
    I apologize if this moves this thread to the D & D but this is why health care reform is needed because the current status quo is so messed up. The latest law helps but a lot more is needed.
     

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