Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Jack would so destroy Chuck Norris. While Chuck is hanging around future suicide victims and judging Dodgeball contests, Jack Bauer has single-handedly saved the U.S. from destruction on four separate days without one bite of food. It's no contest.

 

Or taking a ****. I bet he gets seriously backed up.

 

I think his digestive system is the official corollary to "Garbage in. Garbage Out."

 

i wish Jack Bauer would shoot chuck norris in the face while CN simultaneiously roundhouse kicked JB in the jugular.

 

will someone please tell me about the time jack bauer jump kicked through a windshield while the car was moving at about 40 mph killing the driver instantly?

k, thanx.

 

i thought this would be pretty lame, but i thought they were pretty funny. they had a slightly different angle than all the chuck norris ones (except for the ones that were actually chuck norris facts with jack bauer replacing him) and it seemed to work. as for "who is jack bauer?", i don't even watch 24 but i know who jack bauer is. actually, of all the shows i don't watch, 24 is the one i would like to start watching the most. but it seems like as soon as i realize a season has started, i feel like i'm already behind and there's no point in starting. i'll have to get the dvd's from friends one days and watch it.

 

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're ****ing dead."


Repetitive, yes, but still funny...Chuck Norris is the man, but Jack can still kick his old ass...

 

Jack Bauer uses guns and bombs and cheap tactile infiltration

Chuck Norris doesn't need that..

 

Chuck Norris is crap. Bauer would kill Norris so fast it's not even funny. Obviously, you haven't seen 24, Manny. You need to start! You should go start from the beginning and rent season 1.

Norris wishes he could even compete; it's not even close.

 

Personally, I thought the Ryan Bowen one's were funnier, especially mine.