Huh? Common law has no paper and you could have the same outcome. And congrats to you both Jeff for being so fortunate to have a friendly divorce.
in a heartbeat. i don't have enough hatred for the spurs. i like tim duncan. but if she was a cowboys fan, it would be over before it even started.
I was a single man (and part-time dad) for about six years between marriages. My first thoughts were to get re-married. I felt like I hadn't been married for awhile. Then I was content to be unattached (although I was serieally monogamous). Then I was ready to get married but didnt want to marry my girlfriend of 3+ years. I didn't realize that until I was mentally ready to get married again. She was a great person but I didn't love her like a life partner. I broke it off and about six months later I met "J" and six months later we were married.
Cue up Tammy Wynette! Our little boy is four years old and quite a little man So we spell out the words we don't want him to understand Like T-O-Y or maybe S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E But the words we're hiding from him now Tear the heart right out of me. Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes final today Me and little J-O-E will be goin' away I love you both and it will be pure H-E double L for me Oh, I wish that we could stop this D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Watch him smile, he thinks it Christmas Or his 5th Birthday And he thinks C-U-S-O-T-D-Y spells fun or play I spell out all the hurtin' words And turn my head when I speak 'Cause I can't spell away this hurt That's drippin' down my cheek. Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes final today Me and little J-O-E will be goin' away I love you both and it will be pure H-E double L for me Oh, I wish that we could stop this D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
lol. I can just see drapg's pick-up line : "Love don't pay the bills b****... if you got money and ESPN, let's roll..."
Man, I can't even imagine going through the dating scene ever again. Once is enough for me...knock on wood. Good luck to you.
Best wishes from here on out... I know it couldn't have been easy. But looks like at least you're getting along. Those who wish to be cautious about marriage are wise. If I could just say one thing to you guys: please, please don't get into any commitments if you have a bad feeling about it. Even if you're scared or don't feel justified in moving on... just move on. Don't end up hitched and realize that you should have never done it in the first place. I feel like I made one of those such mistakes and have been talking about it/ wondering if I should move out for a really long time. I don't think it really hit him until just now, and he's not taking it very well. I feel like I have to stick with him if that's what he wants, because I hate to hurt another human being. But it seems like that's all I do. Oh well, don't mean to hijack Jeff's thread. If my husband and I both wanted to separate, it would be a lot easier. But he wants to keep trying. It's not easy when every bone in your body knows you would rather be elsewhere or free, but you're trying to honor your obligation and keep from hurting him. Those of you who are free, look on the bright side. Life begins from here...
Jeff sorry to be an accomplice in the hijacking of your thread. Isabel I appreciate your dedication to this realtionship but if things are so bad and there aren't kids or a mortgage involved I get a feeling this thing is going to get worse before it gets better. Saying , "Its not easy when every bone in your body knows you would rather be elsewhere" doesn't bode well for a rapproachment.
Good luck, Jeff! You're already quite the mack on myspace. Excellent social skills. . Bell.... you know. Geez. Just give Jeff a kiss hug and get on with your drama. Not that we don't love it - but enough already. You're super cool - go hang out sometime with some cool CCnet guys, get a weekend off, move on. you need help getting down with your pansy ass.
Gonna have to agree with Sishir here. Look Isabel, a ludicrously large percentage of relationship problems seem to revolve around one person "trying not to hurt" the other when they aren't satisfied, which 99% of the time means not being honest with the other person. Don't do that. It's dumb. It only makes things more painful later. Being honest upfront is far, far less painful. ...sorry for being accomplice #2 in hijacking your thread, Jeff. Good luck, by the way.
Thanks to all of you guys for your support. I am being, and have been, pretty open and honest with him. I wanted him to have a chance, for his sake. I just wish he had more friends and support... I realized that I'm the only person he's close to. I've put aside all my fears, doubts, dreams of having another person to run to, etc. It's all OK with me now. Except the idea of having to keep this going for the rest of my life. I guess I'm just heartless after all. He's getting what he wants out of this relationship, so he thinks, but it doesn't work both ways. (And yes, I'm getting the counseling set up. Should have done it long ago.) It's sad when I know things could have been different, that all relationships aren't this lukewarm and mediocre... or, who knows, maybe it is all my fault.
Isabel, When you start living your life for someone else, you are almost inevitably going to be asking for trouble. I remember when I quit my credit union job near the end of '99. Granted, it was the best thing for me to do, but instead of trying to relax and take my time to figure out what I wanted to do next, I made a stupid decision. I went into teaching to please my father. You see, I have always felt that the relationship I have with my father could be better. And I always envied the friends I had who were very close to their dads. Yet I knew in my heart that I was not cut out for teaching, and I didn't even last a week teaching (I foolishly tried teaching 9th graders algebra shudder). But I was determined to do this because I thought that is what my dad wanted and I was tired of being a "disappointment" to him. Of course this whole experience left me very shaken and my level of confidence in myself went down to about zero. Even after I got the job I have now (5+ years and counting at this job), I don't know how many times I came close to quitting. All because of the lack of self-confidence in myself (that and being frustrated with figuring out what they wanted me to do). As it turned out, my father was NOT disappointed that I am not a teacher. As a matter of fact, he is very proud of the job I have and of me. So there has been a happy ending to this story but it took almost a year to "undo the damage" (so to speak) of that one decision I decided to do because of someone else. I know you have had been thinking about this for some time. You have been living your life to please someone else a lot longer than when I was trying to please my dad. Honestly, I don't know how you have done it without losing your sanity. It can't be healthy. You really need to search deep within yourself, Izzy, to truly figure out what it is that you need to do about this situation. Good luck - you have plenty of people on this site supporting you.
Wow. Glad things went ok with you and the ex. My girl hasnt had the best experience with hers and it sucks..... especially since Im a part of the mix as well. Have fun with the single life now.
Four weeks ago my wife and I seperated. We will not be getting Divorced any time soon, but definately not going to get back together. Money is the issue. Anybody have any ideas on how to get seperated inexpensively? What did it cost you Jeff?
