I've been married 28 years, 29 in February. We lived together, off and on, for 4 years prior that. Just looking at what I wrote, my first thought is, "GOD, what a long time!!!" And the funny thing is... I had several years of single fun, more fun than a human being should be allowed to have, no doubt, before I ever met her. I stole her away from a guy George Costanza would have loved, a guy just then graduating in architecture. What can I say? Must have been my Celtic charm, my wit, my hair halfway down my back, my deep love of music, my pet owl... my luck. The 4 years before we got married was like a totally groovy time. Most of the time we lived together, but not always. Honestly, I never intended to get married. I thought it was an archaic institution that fogies like my parents indulged in, so they could have wild children like me, eager to drive them nuts. I had had many, many girlfriends before I met her. I lived with a couple of them. Well, more than a couple, if you're counting months, instead of years. Children? Why on earth would I want children when I wanted to continue traveling the world, having multiple sex and affection partners, and the freedom to do what I pleased? It took four years, but it finally hit me that if I were ever to spend the rest of my life with someone, this was that person. The decision wasn't taken lightly. And after I decided it was right for me, I wondered if she would even want to. We were living apart at the time, and I had her come over. She hadn't a clue. After working myself up to it, working against years of never wanting to, we were sitting in bed, naturally, and I simply asked her. Guess it would have been nice to pick some romantic setting, but we'd seen and done a host of romantic things, so it didn't seem important. I just asked her out of the blue. She couldn't have been more surprised. She thought I was kidding, for a moment, and then she said yes. Several times, jumped on me, laughing, and here we are. I was 40 before we decided to have a kid. That's another story. What Cohen said was dead on. They are wonderful. They change your life. They can be a royal pain in the ass, and you give up a huge, HUGE chunk of your freedom, but we wouldn't trade them for anything. We'd trade our lives for them, but that's it. Van Gundier, everyone is different. I must be proof of that.
For the human touch aspect of it, yes, but legally, it sucks... Don't get me wrong, I would encourage everyone to do it...From a Catholic perspective, its a sacrament, but we're only human...Humans make mistakes and everyone deals with issues differently... There is that balance between love and lust, but there is also finding someone that will put up with your sh*t...Once you've found that, sign me up...
Study shows men who marry live longer than those who don't. But that goes back to your main question. Is there any reason to live a longer life? Of course, the longer you live, the more Rockets games you get to enjoy.
Yep i've got a handfull of friends in similar situations, as soon as they think their wife would never do something, they get the wild hair to hack into their email or check their cell phone logs and are like WTF!!!!!
Marriage in this country has turned into a joke. It's starting to turn into more about the size of the ring, how big a house you can get, materialistic/extravagant weddings, vacationing, eating at fancy restaurants, blah, blah, blah. That being said marriage is between 2 people and only they can decide if it's right for them. Just because the rest of the country does it "because it's the thing to do" doesn't mean it's right for them. Sincerely, Single, 36, and Waiting for the PS3 to Come Out.
Yeah, they become relevant again when divorce proceedings start... or so a couple of friends/former co-workers say. Everybody thinks they've found "the right person"... around 50% of the time, they're wrong.
and around 50% of the time they're right. and that's in this country. i don't know about divorce statistics elsewhere, but i know it's far more rare and less accessible in Europe than it is in the US. also..if i remember correctly, the divorce rate for first marriages is lower than the divorce rate for subsequent marriages.
I think the problems with marriage are based on unrealistic expectations and poor judgement. Mine was the latter. I got married without enough relationship experience and without really figuring out what I wanted. People have all the wrong ideas about what marriage means - from the romantic ideal to the societal expectation of family. For women, it is often the unrealistic expectation of the happily ever after that every fairy tale and romantic comedy has shown them since they were old enough to own a Barbie - another image impossible to live up to. For men, it's usually opposite of a romantic expectation - that life will be easier, money problems will go away and you can have sex whenever you want. People don't spend nearly enough time asking the really difficult questions that need to be asked before getting into marriage. Women think it is un-romantic and takes the passion out of a relationship. Men are afraid to hear the answers to the questions they ask. So, you go along blindly until you get blindsided. But, that isn't the fault of the institution of marriage. That is the fault of the flawed humans who inhabit that institution. For many, marriage is ideally suited to both their goals of home and family AND their feelings of love and intimacy. If that isn't the result for you, instead of looking at statistics, you might want to look in the mirror.
Frank the Tank: "Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday. We're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond. I don't know. I don't know if we'll have enough time."
Yup. Fifty percent of the time they're right. That's what you call a big gamble. Generally speaking, the entire institution has been turned into a mockery. I don't know exact stats, but I know in several countries divorce was rare a couple of decades ago. It's probably changing now as the world is getting more technologically advanced (yeah, I think there can be a relation). Another thing that I think has slaughtered marriage is the materialistic/me-first attitude. Not to mention the 2nd class/rate status women tend to enjoy in society at times. Deckard, Max, etc. I'm not trying to mock marriage or say it won't work - just saying that it is a gamble for a lot of guys. I know, I know.. the romantic answer would be "it's a gamble well-worth the gamble". Congrats to you guys, though.
I can think of at least one good reason: ME! My parents have been married for 28 years. They are the #1 reason I am the awesome man I am today. I look up to them more than anyone else in this world. There is just no substitute for a real family. Not saying that kids raised out of wedlock don't turn out to be great people ... all I'm saying is, I wouldn't trade my family and childhood for ANYTHING else in the world. And I look forward to one day getting married to the love of my life, raising awesome kids and having them say the same about me too. Marriage is a beautiful thing. If you think it's useless, you don't know jack.
