Hey great idea! Hey man, my wife just stepped on my adam's apple and now I am dead and she is going to sue you! Guys line up, my wife will soon be rich! Great thread. I must admit to years of on again, off again reading about Islam, and to be kind, I will NOT be converting anytime soon. First, based on this thread alone, since I am Mr. Practical, I would convert and immediately start writing letters to the big man in Mecca about at least beginning to institute some reasonable crowd control methods that would break the crowd down into smaller chunks and regulate traffic to the pillars. This would probably get me banned. I base this on my experiences with christian pastors who seem particularly sensitive to anyone trying to give them advice on running their churches and controlling their congregations - they all thought they already had sufficient mind, er crowd control procedures in place. Second, I am not much on martyrdom which seems real big in religious circles, whether it is saying the wrong thing and having opponents burn you at the stake or chop your head off, etc., or the other version which is to strap on 60 lbs of C4 and get on a bus. Personally I have enough sexual action here and can wait on the numerous virgins in paradise thingy. Not sure if the Catholic martyrs get that one - Christianity seems real unclear on sex in Paradise - my wife is hoping it ends - she thinks we feel so good there we don't need it - endorphins are always maxed. Women! Judaism is possibly enticing as I really love a good reuben with ballpark mustard - but then I am probably starting a controversy here between the brown mustard and the yellow mustard people. Hinduism is out as I am a steak man, and I've seen what cows do to destroy landscaping and being a flower gardener I would definitely have to take out wandering cows. Buddhism - my hips are totally inflexible and I would be banned for being incapable of sitting in a lotus position. But if I could, I could do a mean Fat Buddha imitation - just not sure I could take the adolation and belly rubbing. Atheism/agnosticism is out as I am planning to meet the Big Guy and spend eternity with him. Sounds much better than non-consciousness for eternity. Too many near death experience accounts of people moving to the light. If I missed anyone please be patient: you Bahais, numerous Protestant sects, whirling Dervishes, African animists, Voodooists, etc. Not responsible for this post as I was dead when I wrote it.
In the USA for us older folk we did Jainism in elementary school only it was known as "Dick and Jainism" at the time! Here is an excerpt from the final Dick & Jain reader when they reach puberty: See Jain, this is why I am called Dick! Oh, Dick! No! No, Dick, no! Mommy says no! This final book led to huge protests by Fundamentalists and is why the series was soon pulled from the public schools. And that children is also why the name Dick is now only used for guitarists in Southern Rock bands anymore -which is more commonly pronounced "Dickie" or its so-called diminutive version. Richard and Jain are now happily married grandparents living in Dimebox, Texas and living off the royalties and signing collectible copies of their books on Antique Roadshow.
