[Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union. (Reference the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.) We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if Kerry wins over Bush. We'll miss you too. Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results of the last election. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into their own hands. Here is what will happen: #1: If John Kerry becomes President of the United States, Texas will immediately secede from the Union. #2: George W. Bush will become the President of the Republic of Texas. So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic? 1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. We will control the space industry. 2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States. 3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning. 4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that. 5. Natural Gas - again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure out a way to keep them warm... 6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications--small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on. 7. Medical Care - We have the largest research centers for cancer esearch, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. Dallas has some of the best hospitals in the United States. 8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: Texas Christian University, University of Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT (University of North Texas), Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the South anyway. 9. We have a ready supply of workers. We could just open the border when we need some more. 10. We have essential control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc. 11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can Always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over Chuck Norris and a couple of Texas Rangers. 12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food. This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have. Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his big 9 mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes. You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off Satellite communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas. Signed, The People of Texas P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you something to think about...BEFORE YOU VOTE THIS NOVEMBER. SLEEP WELL TONIGHT
Does this mean that, as a bonafide Admiral of the Texas Navy, I'll finally get command of the Battleship Texas or at least one of our starships?
That's okay by me. Oh, I'll just need some appropriations to modernize the Texas, add a few cruisers, destroyers and nuclear submarines for escort and screening vessels, and take command of the Kingsville Naval Base to provide air cover.
[Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union. (Reference the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.] Not factual. A good right wing nutzo read though.
I hate to endanger my potential command, but didn't Texas lose it's right to secede in the War Between the States? We need an attorney with a specialty in government to rule on this. I believe we still hold the right to divide into five states, but I'm not sure if the aforementioned treaty is still valid (if it ever was). No Worries: Don't worry.
Don't forget about our music! Austin Longue Lizards - Stupid Texas Song Texas is a big state, North to South and East to West Alaska doesn't really count, we're bigger than the rest You can waltz across it, though, so grab your yellow rose And sing another song of Texas--this is how it goes: One more stupid song about Texas, For miles and miles it rambles on Biggest egos, biggest hair, biggest liars anywhere, Let's sing another stupid Texas song By God we're so darn proud to be from Texas--yahoo! Even of our pride we're proud and we're proud of that pride, too Our pride about our home state is the proudest pride indeed, And we're proud to be Americans, until we can secede One more stupid song about Texas, You've heard it all before so sing along Biggest belt buckles and boasts, love that big old Texas toast, Let's sing another stupid Texas song Our accents are the drawliest, our howdies are the y'alliest, Our Lone Star flag's the waviest, our fried steak's the cream-graviest Our rattlesnakes the coiliest, our beaches are the oiliest Our politicians most corrupt, our stop signs most abrupt Our guitars are the twangiest, our guns are the keblangiest. Our cows are the Long-horniest, our yodels the forlorniest, Our cookoffs are the chiliest, our Waylon is the Williest, Our sausage is the smokiest, our neighbors are the Okiest From Texarkana to El Paso, Dalhart down to Orange Every spot in Texas has got what you're looking for Aren'cha glad that Texas put the stars up in the sky? If heaven isn't Texas, pardner, I don't want to die One more stupid song about Texas, just 'cause we're braggin', That don't mean it's wrong Biggest heads and biggest hearts, biggest various body parts, Let's sing another stupid Texas song Toss your hats into the air, we're obnoxious (we don't care!) Let's sing another stupid Texas song One more blusterin', bumptious, bald faced, brazen, high flown, high-tone, dander-up, panderin', pompous, puffed-up, snotty, swaggerin', stupid Texas song!
Its against US Law. But if a State secedes, it is renouncing the US's authority over it and hence the law no longer applies to it.
Sounds like some folks are finally getting a toehold in the reality based world and stepping right out again. Anyways, more interesting email from Republicans. http://www.georgewbush.org/deadletteroffice/ Oops.
yeah..this is the little stick i find funny. TEXAS: "We're seceding. We're no longer subject to your laws. We're separate." US: "You can't. It's against the law." TEXAS: "Whose law?" US: "Ours." TEXAS: "But we just said we're no longer subject to US law." US: "But that's against the law." huh? secession isn't decided in the courts!!
