I saw this thread on RealGM and I thought it was pretty good. Here's a post from the thread to get us rolling: "Chris Paul is the kid that gets his ass kicked daily because he's too small, but he still tries to fight everyone and everything... he has already made 3 guys sterile. Greg Oden is the guy that gets sent to detention if he drops his pencil on the floor. Shane Battier is the guy that busts his ass so that he can get B's and C's, but everyone praises him because of how hard he works. Dwyane Wade throws the best parties. LeBron is Mr. Everything, best grades, best athlete.... Kobe has already graduated, and he was the old Mr. Everything, but he still comes back at the end of the year to take the SATs to show that he's still got it."
Let's try this one again: Kobe is the spoiled rich kid who gets a 98 on a test and then whines and b****es to the teacher that someone breathed during class and kept him from getting a 100.
Dirk is the tall exchange student kid that's always inexplicably tripping and falling down in the hallway. Manu is the prematurely balding exchange student kid that's always inexplicably tripping and falling down in the hallway.
From RealGM "Stephen Jackson's the girl that thinks she's too good for her friends. Those friends include the freshmen girl (Randolph), that hasn't grown t*** yet but has a cute face. Morrow, the girl that only has a nice ass and doesnt have anything else (only has a jumpshot and has no other skills), and Ellis, the girl thats always crying about something." WINNER
Yao Ming is the ultra-sheltered mama's boy who get's repeatedly pwned because he has no grasp of social reality.
Ryan Bowen is the guy with the 79' Cutlass that smokes up the parking lot when cranked. Gilbert Arenas is the guy that thinks everyone likes him, when the honest truth is.... Tracy Mcgrady is that guy in co-op that leaves school early, but doesnt even have a job. Baron Davis the the senior that hangs out with all the freshmen. Derek Fisher is student council president, although everyone can think of someone more deserving. Shelden Williams is that fugly guy that stares at you while you pee. Stephen Jackson is the guy you get your weed from.
Shaq is the loveable class clown who flunks all of his classes, but makes everybody laugh. Tim Duncan is the quiet Senior who nobody really knows, but then all of a sudden, gets accepted to Harvard or Yale. Pau Gasol is kept in his bird cage, and paraded around before football games start.
Lamar Odom is that one kid that on a sports team that dates the ugliest cheerleader just because she's a cheerleader......
Perfect. KG is O'bannion to a T. Jason Williams and Chris Andersen are the wiggers who get offended when you call them such. Marko Jaric is the band geek who is somehow dating the hottest chick in school. Allen Iverson rants about homework, not the test... not the final... homework. He's talking about homework man. Homework. Not a quiz, Not a Test... homework.
Boozer is that one kid who's a star on a sports team but fugly as hell with a terrible acne problem...