Shall sort something out soon. Let you all know how it goes down. LOL at the dude suggesting I withhold the 53x from her... wouldn't bother her, would actually be a relief to her.
Hey. About this woman i've met. She lives 2 states away from me... but works at the same govt dept I work for, so we can easily chat to each other during the day. My infatuation/crush is killing me - and it might even be love. We caught up for a few hours when I was in her state the other week.. and it was magical. She doesn't seem interested in anything more than a friendship. So scary for me. Should I cut her loose totally?? Or keep chatting to her casually? Just incase something develops down the line? Before we caught up the other week we were chatting on the phone and texting.. I realise that wasn't a great thing. And I no longer want that, but just a casual chat once or twice a week wouldn't hurt would it?
yeah man, we know each others situations well. We tend to b**** to each other about our partners. (She's been with her dude 10years but not married) So apart from a piece of paper we are in pretty similar situations.
It seems like you're already gone dude. Don't have a "back up" relationship if you're still in a relationship. If you want to remain with your wife, cut the girl loose completely. If you don't want to be with your wife, tell her that, don't string her along, b****y as she might be or not. It's not fair for you to set up the situation for cheating, because eventually, this is what's going to happen.
Good advice, but I still have feelings for my wife. Strong ones. I guess what i'm about at the moment is I have no effing clue what love is.
Ask yourself some of these questions... 1) If your wife left you, how would you feel? 2) Do you miss her when she's not around? 3) When you're alone do you sometimes smile when thinking about her? 4) Do you smile at her when she's around? I know there is a huge difference between loving someone and being "in" love with someone. I had an eight year relationship where I thought I was in love with him and the truth is that I loved him, but didn't. It was a horrible relationship based on old feelings and those feelings didn't go away until I broke it off completely with him. But I couldn't keep living in a situation where I constantly felt nagged, hateful, and bitter. After meeting juicy, I fell in love. A HUGE difference. I'm not saying that the girl you're "messing" around with is the love of your life. Even now, happily married, I think everyone has their grass-is-greener moments. Occasionally, when I had a job (haha) and I'd meet new people I'd feel a pull towards some of the guys. Their new and shiny. Like brand new toys. But because I love my husband to pieces I don't ever "think" about these thoughts for too long. But those moments are rare. You can't put your wife on the shelf because you think there's a better toy out there. You need to dust your own self off and try to spice things back up between you two. If there's no spark or love left, you've got to let her go.
Sounds like your wife is bipolar. Probably good news and bad news in that it is good news if she can Id the problem and try to fix it but bad in that she won't be totally normal. Personally I would leave.
Thanks Mae. FWIW, 1) A little sad, but maybe relieved. Thing is, it would never happen though. She is way too dependent on me. 2) not really. We just had a week apart and while it was nice to see her, I can't say I really missed her. 3) Yeah but not nearly as much as I used to. 4) See 3.
You're wife may be extremely moody because she thinks she's losing you. In the OP you state how crazy she's acting and then later in the thread you post about a crush/new love interest. Uhm...that would make me a little crazy too.
She may not have a clue about it, but she knows something is different with you. I've no doubt that she feels something has changed with you, be it as subtle as not smiling as much. Women are very perceptive about such things. As for the always being emotionally unstable, I'm not sure how to help you there. :grin:
wow. Emotionally unstable, moody, one day you are a king the next a loser. does she have to scream bipolar any louder? get her to a psych
I think the Kirilenkos have it right after all. Give your wife 1st preference to fix things up. She's been with you for 6 years, she at least deserves that. Don't do the Daryl Morey Moneyball approach managing your "assets", dump the bad one and get a better one. I don't care how those scientific evolutionary books explain our desires as opportunistic genetics, LOYALTY still counts for something. You're not emotionally available to her. She's probably sensing that and its coming out in mood swings. You're communicating with someone else, so really you deserve what you're getting. Ultimately, its all about kids. Its why we do this stuff, whether we choose to admit it or not. Dont do the Britney Spears" a child will bring us closer together" thing. If she wants kids and you don't, you don't have compatibility no matter how much you personally have in common.
At first it sounded like you were unhappy with your wife. Whether it was because you had lost attraction to her, grown apart, whatever...and that's okay it happens. If you break up over that then you'd both probably be happier down the line. But the more you talk it seems like it's really just about this other chick. And the whole thing seems like a recipe for disaster.
that would be an ******* thing to do. regardless of whatever he posts here, the situation is between him and his wife to work out. our involvement shouldn't be more than words on a computer screen.
