Good post aside from that first sentence. This site rules. It is really up to him what he wants to do: Continue being unhappy, try to fix his marriage, or get a divorce. The way he posed the question though seems he doesn't recognize the value of working on a marriage.
My friend, that is so obviously already. 6-year of marriage and you started to 'compare' your wife to other women out there? That's just typical. You and your wife are still young. As a matter of fact, IMHO, both of you married too early. I would not oppose the idea of separation since both of you are young enough to 'reboot' and start your new life all over again. But the better way is to discuss the issue together as frankly as possible, perhaps even seek help from the professional. You have over half a century to live with the same lady so be honest to yourself and your wife, is it going to work out. Never never never try to get a child at this point of time.
We have been working on it for 6 years juicy, but essentially keep coming back to the same place. Physical and mental incompatibility. We would make great flatmates/best friends though. I guess its just that 'spark' that's missing.
I sort of know the feeling, but my wife and I went to counseling. Some of the problems are still there, and we both need to continue to work on our flaws, but our relationship is certainly back to where it was. The spark returned. If you are seriously considering divorce/separation then discuss it with your wife. There is a good chance she is feeling some of the same things you are, though she may or may not want divorce. Don't just agree to do it on your own if neither of you wants a divorce. Find help. Without help, you probably just end up in the same place.
Don't mean to sound like a total queer but did you guys ever have passion for each other? If you guys are truly in love you'll be driven to get it back. You have no kids, no major responsibilities outside of work and caring for each other, therefore you have everything you need to make it work or at least try to bring that passion back. I know where you're at right now but really it's gonna come down to what's best for you and her, if it's worth it to you both, it'll work.
That's what women do, deal with it. The next woman you get with will have similar issues. On the flip side, women have their list of crap that men do that drive them crazy. Welcome to life.
You sound like me at one point in my ex-marriage. I didn't feel full-filled, I battled if I was in love with her and there was a woman co-worker who I thought was the perfect woman. We got married when I was 22 and she was 20. You both get to spot where you realize your youth is gone, you both have matured and life stresses (work, family, money, etc) has taken over your relationship, where it was just you two and nothing else when y'all were younger. That other woman you think "there are women like this?", you don't think her man doesn't wonder what the hell he got himself into as well? She's not the perfect woman or perfect mate. THERE'S NO SUCH THING. She probably has just as many or more issues than your wife. You just don't see the flaws because you're not in a day-in/day-out relationship with her. There's a reason you originally fell in love with your wife. The foundation of her and y'all's relationship is still there somewhere, you guys just have to put in some work and swim through 7 years of crap to get back to it. As I said before, you guys need to talk things out and get a counselor to help if you can't do it in the manner I suggested in my last post. You have a damn big wall to take down, but it's got to be done slowly brick by brick. Otherwise, it will crumble and hurt both of yall.
This sounds like something I've been through. I didn't end it then either. Eventually I just tried to sabotage it and have her end it because I was unhappy. That didn't work either, just caused a lot of heartache for both sides. After a lot of unhappiness and years wasted, I finally found the courage to end it. Not that things got miraculously better...but it was the right thing to do. Your passion aside...if you don't want kids and she does that's a pretty big deal. You need to talk about it.
One piece of advice I got from a high school coach that will never go away: Perfect pairs only come in gloves and socks. I promise you, no matter what that other woman is like, she is not the only one like her in the world and you would not be in eternal bliss if you were married to her. I also promise you that no matter what you think of YOUR wife, another man at some point has thought "Man! If only she wasn't married! I didn't know there were women like that!" You know why? Because you don't know that woman and they don't know your wife. Until you are married you don't really know a woman. And guess what? All women and men have serious flaws that make living with them a real b**** sometimes.
Dang it! Can you believe I even looked it up... and FAILed when I typed it... good catch, sir. I FAIL.
I'd much rather see the guy "move on" before they bring a kid into this nonsense than after. Adults can make their own decisions but the kids can't and more often than not, they have to pay for them. Sounds to me like they got married way too young and now they're both regretting it. Nothing wrong with admitting you made a mistake, fixing it, and moving on - as long as there are no kids in the middle.
^ Wouldn't it be best if they didn't separate, worked out these little b*tchy attitudes, fixed their flaws, and don't make two other people (they could possibly meet later) miserable? Like I said: you reap what you se... sa... su... sow.
You are right that there is nothing wrong with it. They should just make sure that is what they want before they go through with it.
I'm not going to advise you on whether to stay with your wife or not but I will say if the only reason why you are staying with her is you don't want to see her hurt that isn't a good reason. If you guys are truly incompatible and you stay together out of pity for the other person you are just going to come to resent each other more. After awhile the parting will be much more bitter.
