So, giddyup, you are still with her because of the kids? That is big of you. She sounds like she needs to be dumped out on her ass. No offense. At some point when they are older, do you plan to re-evaluate? Your wife obviously has some issues which seem to be fidelity. What does she want...an open relationship? Have you ever thought about returning the favor?
Great advice. These threads always get to me. I feel for the person that gets cheated on but at the same time I want to know what type of person it is that this is happening to. I mean I can read what details they are posting but I always think there is more to the story. Like the person that is getting cheated on has other issues and details that they leave out. I'm not saying this is the case because you can be the nicest guy on earth be decent in bed and still get cheated on. These threads make me want to keep the woman in my life at arms length. I hope you find other ways to be happy and soon. Good luck to you.
I couldn't be with someone that repeatedly lied to me. Went to her sister and forced her sister to lie to me. "Came clean" and still lied to me. How can you believe her now? She's shown a willingness and aptitude to lie to your face. Do you really still believe the story about the first time she was with that guy? Now you get to wonder about what really happened every time you're with her. Get tested and end it.
It's crap like that that I cannot wrap my head around. How the hell can someone justify a friendship with someone they cheated with?
Oh...come on! They are just friends now. I know what you mean. What the hell is she thinking? She should have got the boot for even asking. I guess that is better than lying...again.
Not still. We did stay together for about 2 years after the affair. I filed for divorce in 1990 and married again in 1996. I was willing to try but it didn't work out. She thought it was all on me. The counselor indicated to her otherwise and she just kind of shut down.
Tell me! About this same time, I learned a new word: solipsist: extreme preoccupation with and indulgence of one's feelings, desires, etc.; egoistic self-absorption.
That is really impressive. A lot of people wish they could have been that way including myself. You 2 are pretty lucky to have found each other, especially at such a young age.
The friend just had really nothing to say. She was just trying to be peacemaker. In fact she was the one who got us together. And just like everybody else saying things like she can't see us apart and 7+ years is a long time to throw away yadda yadda......... What is scary and I guess the ladies (or even the guys )on the board can say something. I just don't think females are trust worthy. And it has nothing really to do with the fact I got burnt. It just it seems like all the females who are supporting the notion to think about possibly getting back together, ALL of them had done the same thing she did to me. Even when the best friend and I were talking I asked her if she ever cheated and she was very hesitant at first and then said yes. But said the boyfriend used to treat her badly. That's when I said I don't believe there is ever a reason to cheat. If things are not going good or whatever break up. Just break up with the person. There is no need to go behind someone's back. I believe that to the bottom of my heart. So my question is I guess are women that untrustworthy? Why is it that every woman around her has done the same thing at one point or another?
It sounds like you are around the wrong women. My ex wife did something very similar but my current wife is nothing like her and I trust her completely. If everyone you know is a certain way and you don't like it, maybe you are around the wrong people.
Most people are not trustworthy. The only problem is that males have always had a bad rep for being cheaters or sex obsessed, when women are just as bad. I know women and men on both sides of the coin.
I have heard a LOT more situations of a woman cheating on a man then I have of a man cheating on a woman.
I need the audio version of this story. Anyway, there are too many good people to settle for a crappy person. It's better to throw away 7 years (I think that's how long you said) than your whole life.
She's been lying to you all the way through. If she hasn't admitted her lies on top of lies without being called out on them, I wouldn't give her a second chance. Then again, she might be afraid of driving you further apart if she came clean with everything. This would be the world you'll live in even if you manage to forgive her. fixed
This is what I believe is usually the case. It's just men always get the bad rep when it comes to infidelity and that sort of thing.
Well, I'm very sorry for your misery. I know my comments certainly didn't make you feel any better, but I hope my perspective helped in some way.
Forgive the generalization, but I think women are raised not to trust men and based on some of the stuff I read here.... i understand completely.
Do we hear more stories of women cheating on this board because men outnumber women here 9 to 1? I still think men are more likely to cheat. How many men here are going to admit to being the other guy?
