I just found out I was cheated on.....

If the situation was reversed and you were the one who cheated, then they would probably be crucifying you right about now.

 

anything?

now you've got hand.


Seriously though, I couldn't be with a girl knowing she cheated on me. Banging the guy twice?! once is bad enough, going back for seconds is just f-ed up.

 

That's called "commitment".

Being "trapped" is the feeling that one has when they're in a commitment that they're not happy in.

Yeah. So what?

Bull$h!t. She doesn't value the relationship more now. She just doesn't want to be "the bad guy" by $h!tting all over Trini Rocket and looking like a horrible person to him, their families, to their friends, and most importantly, to herself. She's terrified of that.

That doesn't matter. She's gonna continue to be in contact with that other dude. She's gonna screw him some more, and they're going to foster their relationship. And they're gonna do that whether Trini Rocket wants to "test the market" or not. That's not going to stop.

And I don't think it's good advice to guide Trini Rocket into looking for another relationship right now.

"I'll do anything to get you back"
TRANSLATION: "I'm going to keep contacting him and screwing him behind your back, but I'll tell you anything to get you back."

Lies, lies, lies.

Yeah, she'll do anything.... except cut the other guy off. How much time, and how many opportunities has she had to cut it off? And through all that time, she didn't. Instead of cutting it off, she went back to him.

I'm telling you: SHE DID IT WITH HIM MORE THAN TWICE!

She knows that:
(a) if she tells you she only did it once, you won't believe her
(b) if she tell you the truth (that they've done it many more times) that the $hit's really gonna hit the fan.

So, her only solution is to tell you that they did it twice. It's a lie that's believable, yet might keep you hooked.

And you're falling for it. Don't fall for it. You deserve not to fall for it.

 

That's awful!

What horrible, horrible people. They are not your friends.

 

 

Forget about her dude... she cheated. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Or kill her. Your choice.

 

And the "winner winner, chicken dinner" award goes to droxford.

Trini, the sooner you are willing to accept the fact that this thing is over, the better it will be for you. You are in for a world of pain, but you are making it worse by trying to hang on to every last thread of rationalization you have left. Droxford is absolutely right. This was not a mistake, and this was not a "moment of weakness" as you have tried to rationalize. This is a classic affair, and it's not just about sex. There are real feelings and emotions involved. She was already cheating on you long before she slept with the guy.

Of course, most people who come on here and post about their relationship problems end up ignoring the common sense advice given to them and decide to bang their own heads against the wall for months and years before realizing they made a mistake. Don't be one of those people. End this nonsense now for good, before it ruins your NEXT relationship. The longer you allow it to fester, the worse it's going to hurt you, the deeper the scars are going to be, and the harder it will be for you to trust another woman again in the future. And you know what will happen? Your next relationship will be doomed from the start because your brooding distrust and emotional baggage from this relationship will prevent you from opening up and developing real intimacy with a perfectly good woman.

You know the good old adage. When you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging. Get out.

 

I have to say that I feel that droxford is as close to 100% right as you can be. I know it hurts to read it and even harder to believe it for this person who you've grown up with but I think there is more than just a speck of truth in his words. The only thing I might add as others have alluded to - their relationship will not last because neither one of them put fidelity and their sole mate's feelings over their own desires. One of them will do this to the other and I'd be willing to bank on that. You on the other hand - even if the hottest woman in the world and you hit it off - would you not turn her down and leave temptation? And why would you? Because you live on the other side of that coin. It's tough and painful to start over, but I think you will have fewer regrets if you do.

 

droxford is right on.

I know you love this girl and think the best of her, but she KNOWINGLY and WILLINGLY let another guy have sex with her multiple times (two is total BS) and LIED to you about it over and over and only admitted it when she was BUSTED.

Please try to keep that in perspective when she is telling you how sorry she is and how much she loves you and what a mistake she made.

If you want to forgive her and take her back, your call (I never could)...but DO NOT let her get away with it...this is crucial

 

Trini Rockets my man, here's what you can do:

Tell her, since she said she'll do anything to get back with you, she needs to find a really attractive girl and that she has to convince this girl to have a 3some with you and your ex. Tell her if she makes this happen, you'll consider getting back with her. After you had your fun, kick them both to the curb. It'll be a nice way to get some revenge and mess around with a hot girl at the same time.

 

You're crazy if you think things could ever be the same. The cheating element will linger like a dark cloud. Every time she goes to the store, has a "girl's night out", gets a suspicious phone call or whatever you will be instantly reminded of her infidelity and inability to be trusted.

 

Yeah, that would always be in the back of my mind. But again, you guys have been together for so long so I'm not quite sure what I would do.

 

mogrod's advice is valuable, especially since he's had the misfortune of experiencing the situation.

If you're still thinking about giving her a chance because of her "confessions" and her "honesty" about the situation, remember this:

She got caught. She didn't confess anything. How long would have this gone on if you did not read her text messages and track her calls. She was very sneaky about communicating with "K." She even set up a safety net with her sister by telling her to cover for her in case she gets caught.

She claims that NOW she realizes that she wants to be with you after using sex with someone else as a test. The ONLY time this excuse would have ANY validity is if she did it once and had her realization. However, this is not the case as she claimed to have done it twice.

Bottom line...she does not save face by telling you she slept with him. Remember that she did NOT confess, rather, she got CAUGHT. She had a plan in case she got caught...and even then, her sister is the one that confessed about the lies.

To me, the longer the relationship, the sharper the knife. 7 years and then this. The fact that she even had a THOUGHT of being with someone else says a lot.

Forgetting her is impossible, but getting over her will be easy. If 7 years of love does not make her loyal, then I don't know what will. Move on...your other half is elsewhere.

 

Reading this really pisses me off...sorry to hear about it.

I know one thing...and that is that the number "2" is total BS.

 

Feel free to still crash on her house to watch a Rockets game, though. That's the least she could do for all the free food.

 

I speak from experience (3-year relationship when I was 20 - 23 years old).

I don't really know you, but offhand I'd say it's gonna take you 2 - 3 years to really move forward.

 

Number 2 is total BS, naturally.