I'm sorry sir, I cant comment on their "hottness" at this time. I will need further testing of these women of these ethnicities before I can confirm there "hottness." Send me all of your finest b****es for testing...preferably naked. I keed, I keed
No need to finish the story. Does she still want to be with you? If yes, move on. If no, you move on from her. Did something physically happen or just words? If yes, break up with her. If no, move on. Why is she allowing another guy to move in on your territory. Thats for you to figure out, but if you like her, you better start making some changes.
So, anyway, I promised to call her that night (Thursday). I told my brother about what happened and he gave me his insight. His biggest issue was the fact that she didn't set the boundaries with the dude initially means that it could be more than just her fishing for compliments. He said that he believes curiosity was there and if she didn't satisfy her curiosity then it is likely it would happen again and that it could go even further next time. He understood where I was coming from when I said that she has her insecurities and stuff and that could have prompted it but he still believed she was curious and we may have had to take time apart for both of us to test the waters before moving forward. My biggest issue was that I just couldn't shake the feeling more went down. For 2 reasons, one the fact that she called him when I was around. That just shows that there was something more. I mean, why take that risk? And two how much she lied. She had lots of chances to come clean, I grilled her for about 15 mins and she refused to admit the texts were hers. So we spoke, Thursday night and Friday night. More about her issues more than anything else. She said it was a real eye opener and she now see what I was saying all these years with regards to dealing with her stuff. That sort of thing. But she didn't want to hear anything about us taking time apart. She didn't see the need and said that this made her see who she truly wants to be with and all that. What was kind of suspicious for me was when I called her Friday night one of the first things she said was that she didn't want the dude to seem as the bad guy. She was feeling as though she was making him seem as the total bad guy so she took all the blame herself because she said it was her who was encouraging him. Now what had me concerned about that was she seemed to have feelings for him the way she was defending him. At the end of the day, even if she didn't stop him he made the first move. So I didn't see why she felt it was totally her fault. Anyway, after we talked and talked she admitted that it was possible she was developing feelings without her realizing. So I told her she has to cut ties with him because he won't stop pursuing you and if feelings are there stuff can happen. We ended Friday night with her trying to wrap her head around the idea of us spending time apart to see what's out there so that if we get back together we know that we are sure there'll be no outside interest. Then Saturday we had lunch to clarify where we stand because we still didn't specify if we're on a break or we're finished totally with the intention of getting back together later on. How far can we go with others, if it's just to date or really test the waters. But she didn't want to hear any of that. She knew who she wanted and that was me. So we drove around a bit and parked up. She didn't want to get emotional in the mall and wanted somewhere more private. From all the earlier conversations I was leaning toward getting back with her but getting some space and taking things slow. And then I started thinking with my small head instead of my big head because we ended up making out basically. The fact that I saw her and still obviously had feelings for her had a part to play as well. After that we kept talking and she kept saying how much she has been thinking about things and how much she wants to get better and all that good stuff. Things were looking up. The relationship was saved although things would not have been normal right away. But then she hit me with the heartbreaker. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sorry for breaking up the story so much I just don't want the posts to be too long. The next one is the last and I'll be writing it as soon as I send this.
So yesterday I was drinking some beers, chilling with the boys. She pulled up in her pops car and told me to jump in. She said that we have to talk. I asked what about she said just jump in. So I jumped in and we started driving toward a lookout. On the way, she started saying she can't do this to me and I'm too good a person and she must confess. She slept with the dude. My heart sank. I couldn't believe it. It felt like someone took a hammer to my chest. I pulled over and jumped out and started walking back home. She jumped out saying that she has to tell me and I was trying to tell her I don't want any of it. But she kept following me begging me to listen. I eventually went back to the car and drove to the look out and she told me everything that happened. And that's how she knows she doesn't want anybody else because she did and it made her realize what she has in me. Then she told me it happened twice and I couldn't take anymore. Because if it was a mistake the first time why do it again. That was my thinking. I got out the car again and started walking. She started running behind me begging me to listen to her. And I was telling her there is nothing else to say. Eventually I got tired and I sat down to hear what she had to say. She told me how sorry she was and that she doesn't want to throw away what we have. That it was a mistake and she knows it wouldn't happen again and she's willing to do anything to win me back. Just give her a chance. But I didn't take her on. I tried to get up and she grabbed onto me and refused to let me go my way. I threatened to hit her if she didn't let go and she said go ahead she deserves it. All this time tears were pouring and stuff. Just a lot of drama. I eventually push her off of me and started walking again. She started following me in the car. Pulling at the side of the road and stuff. So I jumped in a taxi to go home. When I jumped out the taxi she pulled up behind me again. I yelled "I don't want you" and punched the passenger window. She finally got the hint and drove off. I went back home to chill with the boys and tried to drown my sorrows in alco. It worked kinda. It took my mind off of everything but then this morning everything came back. I was really hurting. Then I started to write this thread she popped in my room to drop of my key and a letter. The letter didn't have anything I didn't hear before. I told my brother and my mom and they gave me their takes on the situation. I'm still waiting to hear from my sister in New York. And that's about it. Hope it wasn't too long.
You should get even with her by taking her off your mysapce page and then post her picture on this bbs!
Now I'm even more convinced that you did the right thing. Her saying stuff like "Now I know for sure that I don't want anyone else" is extremely stupid. Think about all the lies and deceit. The fundamental foundation of a relationship is based on Trust, Communication, and Respect. Without these, you have nothing.
Trini, I now have an opinion, you have to move on.....she threw the 7 years away not you. Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. You are young, sound like a great guy, you deserve better, she does not deserve you. DD
Well, I've got nothing but bad news for you... Bad news: It's over. You have a very strong attachment to her. But on her side, she only wants to stay together with you because she doesn't want to be a crappy person by messing around on you and then dumping you for another guy. She hates the idea that she'll be that person. Worse news: She IS that person, whether she wants to admit it or not. Those feelings she has of self-disappointment aren't nearly enough to keep your relationship together. And honestly, those feelings must not run very deep in her heart - she's all sad when it comes to you, but when she hooks up with him, she cheers right back up again, doesn't she? And went back for more. even worse news: You can't win. You lose. You two will break up, and that a$$hole will get your girl, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. There is no way around it. You are broken. She broke you. He broke you. The two of them will probably feel bad about it for 5 minutes and then happily move on, while you will suffer for the rest of your life. And they won't care. the worst news: You must end all contact with her. Remove her entirely from your life. Begin the process of moving forward in your life without her. The more you hear from her, the more it will hurt you, and the more difficult it will be for you to move on without her. And, yeah, I know that that's a very difficult thing to do after being together for so long. other points: that other guy IS a bad guy. He should be keeping away from a chick who's been in a relationship with a guy for 7+ years. the fact that she hasn't/won't disconnect from the other guy is evidence that she won't do whatever it takes to make your relationship work. You need to get tested. Tell her she needs to get tested. Follow that up with "have a nice life." That should be the last thing you say to her.
This kid has talent! I'm anxiously awaiting the next post by him too! I completely understand your situation trinidad. If I posted the drama that i've encountered since sept of 2007, I would be accused of making things up. =) Like others have stated, another woman will come along and rescue you! hang in there.
The guy is hurting, right now he just needs to know he did the right thing and that she is the bad guy here, and he needs to get away from her and never speak to her again. Cut all ties, don't keep her around. Let her know this is not something that you could ever "get over" and that you can't be with her. Eventually you might be able to forgive her, but not now. You will need to do it at some point, but probably not until you are in a better relationship and in a happier state of mind. She will end up cheating on that guy, or he will cheat on her. Trust me. It almost always happens that way. But don't take pleasure in other people's sorrow. Take the next few weeks to recover, splurge on yourself a bit. Surround yourself with friends and family, people who care about you. Talk about it. Let it all come out. The hurt will sting for a long time, you can't help that, it is a wound and time is the only healer, anything else you try to do (alcohol) to heal that hurt is like applying a band-aid to a flesh wound. You guys were so young, almost all long term relationships that start when two people are so young end up failing. It isn't your fault, its just that people become different and form a lot of new opinions and outlooks as they mature. This will inevitably cause tension that you can only construe as "growing apart." You will move on. It will hurt like hell, and it will hurt for a while. But you will move on.
