Hmm...so a guy was saying and doing all the right things to get into her pants and, once he scored a few times, now he doesn't want anything to do with her? Imagine that. Your ex learned a lesson the hard way. She not only lost him but she lost you as well. Somehow, I don't think she has learned her lesson and a repeat of this scenario is possible. All it takes is some guy to sweet talk her again and put on an act until she gives in. Then, he can have her and dump her like yesterday's trash. And, to think she was still lying to you when she was supposed to have come clean already. I bet there is still more to the story or even another story you don't know about.
I agree. At this point, I don't think that kind of stuff matters, because the stuff you find out you're probably better off not knowing. Just leave it alone. Walk away! It's not worth it. It's just going to hurt you more. She doesn't deserve your anguish. Walk away. That's the best advice that's been given.
Ok, I just read the rest of the thread. Trini, first of all, I apologize for what I am about to type...but sometimes the truth hurts. But it's always best to know the truth.... This chick is punking you man!!! She doesn't respect you and she's playing you for weak, and you are letting her. How bold does a chick have to be to be texting and calling some other dude in your presence? That's daring to get caught. Even the dumbest cheater knows how to be discreet. How bold does a chick have to be to have you hanging with a dude she's boning on the side? How bold does a chick have to be to cheat on you, then sit down and talk to you about how good the sex was with the other dude? Come on now man...open your eyes. This woman doesn't love you (anymore). Why....because she doesn't respect you. She is punking you and trying to see if she can get you back....so she can continue to punk you some more. The other dude has already left her...why...because she's the punk in that scenario. He used her to get what he wanted, and now that she wants more he ain't having it. And why should he...he only wanted side cooty and not a relationship. He left all the relationship stuff up to you!!! If you walked all over somebody, and there were no repurcussions, would you ever feel like you couldn't walk all over them again? It doesn't get much worse than a chick telling you "I boned this dude, y'all hung out, and it was great". And trust me, no woman is going to tell a man how great the sex was with the other dude unless she has absolutely no fear of telling him, or unless she is really trying to hurt him. And when I say fear, I'm not talking about physical fear...I'm talking about her maintaining dominance/control. If she wants to talk, you talk to her right? If she wants to see you, you see her right? And now you are contemplating getting back together? Don't be "that guy" man. Accept the pain and move on. As a matter of fact, embrace the pain....cuz if you are supremely pissed at her (which you should be), then the odds are that you will cut her off. Cut her off...you can do better.
I hear what you're saying but just to clarify: 1. I am NOT contemplating getting back together. It's over. 2. This is something many might not get but I am the one who asked her about how good it was or whatever. When she initially told me what she did she made it seem like it wasn't good. But that didn't make sense since she went back for more. So me asking her about it was just making sure I understood why she went back.
He won't yet. They never do. This is the beginning of the end. He, IMO from these posts, will give her "one more chance," they'll stay together for a few more months, and then things will unravel (more often than not on her end) and he will hate the fact that he didn't listen to all of this advice because she was "different" and "we didn't know her like he did." Just like every other relationship thread. Nobody ever listens.
Well I don't know how else to say that I know it's over. The thing is I've been talking to my bro as well and he wouldn't steer me down the wrong path. He's been basically reiterating everything everyone has said here. So believe me when I say it's over.
The whole matter took him by surprise with 7 years attached. It's possible to be level headed while in shock, but it's not common. Don't sell yourself short, Trini. It's natural to feel down and angry, and her recent play is supposed to make you avoid that inevitable pain. But think of it this way, at least you didn't find out married or with children. You can do better with someone who won't lie and disrespect you. As for why women or men do the **** things they do, if there was an answer, there would only need to be one book written about it.
I'm not masking my feelings or anything, just read the very first post and you can see I was devastated. But I'm not gonna come on here and be "life sucks" and all suicidal and expect y'all to cheer me up. When I'm down I'll be by myself or talk to family or something. When I come on here is when I feel better and able to talk about it. Probably that's why I'm seeming so level headed and what not. In fact, by talking about it here has really helped and is the reason why I wrote everything that happened. But it did get tough at times and hence the cliffhangers. Another thing is that I miss what we had together and what we shared and I want it back. But that does not mean I want HER back. I know there others out there that would be better for me and treat me a million times better. So why sit here and be all "whoa is me". I didn't do anything wrong. Everything was on her. Her betrayal, her deception, her dishonesty, her selfishness, her immaturity. I understand that and I am ready to move on.
have you tried speaking to the other dude (without your ex knowing)? talk to him mano y mano and i'm sure he'll tell you the truth about what happened between them (i mean if you really want to know what really happened)... 7 years is a long time and i can only imagine what you're going through bro... that sucks but keep your head up, definitely
trini, u sound like you know what you need in your life. hopefully you stick to it. i was young once and dated my ex a total of 3 times over 7 years and it was the dumbest thing i ever did. walk away now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck to you.
1) You've been very mature about this. You know yourself and you know her very well. You're a logical person and anyone here will tell you there are more lies in the story. 2) Clearly from the story, she is and will be miserable. She's destroyed. Don't take pride in this. It's sad to see someone you love/loved come down because they couldn't overcome their own problems. But nothing will change that it happened and seven years of you trying to fix her problems didn't work, so you have to admit that it's not in your power to change it. You can't be with the person that she is right now. You've made that decision, make sure you know why you made that decision. Don't ask yourself "Why?" later. Ask all the questions now, file the answers, and put them away for good. 3) One of the greatest things you're doing is speaking to family. I can't tell you what a great idea this is. Don't speak to "her" friends. Obviously, her friends will be your friends by now, but know where to draw the line. Make sure you know that everyone connected to her has an agenda of their own. Well done man. I'm 24 and have been in a 5 year relationship which ended abruptly. I'm certain that, over 7 years, you've grown a bit away from your male friends and closer to female friends, specifically her female friends. Enjoy your life for a while. Guys will constantly remind you that you've done the right thing while females, as it is in their nature, will focus more on the emotional side (hope this is not offensive). There's no need to be emotional again, although you will, and that is normal. You can go back to her whenever you want obviously because she'd kill to be back with you, but IF you do it, you'll realize that you don't want this person anymore. Good luck dude. You're going to look back at this one day and think about the good times and the bad times. Make sure that when that time comes, you're comfortable with that thought.
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