I don't know if you Houstonians (!?) were hit with the mid-winter weather that has been beating down on the Northeast for a while now, but it has been dreadfull. I had to go out in the backyard today and get into the old garage back there to get out the shovels I had out away a few weeks back, and i had the strangest experience... I was huddling in the doorway of the garage ( it has old fashioned sideways swinging doors that take a bit of effort to get open ) and looking at the load of old furniture, yard equipment, and odda and ends, most of it inherited with the house, when a gleam caught my eye towards the backof the old barn-like shed. I had rarely ventured far back into this jumble of smells, dust, and relics, but this time i was looking for an excuse to put off going back out into the hail and wind, and this unexpected glimmer from the depths of the garage seemed a good enough excuse. It took a bit of doing, but I eventually managed to make my way through to the back of the garage, feeling like some sort of urban rainforest guide sans machete, and I was amazed at the fruits of my labor; an old backboard shaped mirror, complete with rusty hoop, although if there had ever been a net it was either olst, or had rotted away. This thing was incredible...it was smaller than your average basketball backboard these days, and square rather than rounded at the corners like most are now, but there was no mistaking it's purpose...but it's construction was something else again. It was, as I mentioned, a mirror, or rather the backboard was constructed out of one sheet of mirrorish material I had never seen before, and when i wiped off the layers of dust and grime caked on over God knows how many years, I was gazing back at my dumbfounded face interrupted by the cylander of the hoop. I had no idea what to make of it...it was, frankly, bizarre, and I couldn't for the life of me imagine someone taking the time to make a basketball backboard out of a mirror...and as i peered at this oddity, I was still rubbing away more dirt and dust with the sleeve of my jacket, really just for something to occupy my hands while my mind raced with wonder and confusion...And as I did so, the garage seemed to grow a little darker, the wind outside seemed to howl from a little farhter off...and I slowly began to realize that I was sinking headfirst into the mirrored reflection gazing back at me, strangely calm and slightly dreamy... As I watched in something like a daze, the image in the mirror seemed to blur and shift into itself, no longer was I seeing myself, but it now took on an animated independance...there was swirling movement, colors flashing back and forth across the surface of the backboard until, with a jolt, I realized what i was seeing; a basketball game! And more wonderful still, a Houston Rockets game! But this was no game I had ever seen...it couldn't be...The uniforms were different, some of the players were unknown, and the coach took a second to place...looked like an older version of Huckleberry Hound....who was...wait! My God, it's Roy Williams! Many of the players were the same, but they had aged, and more incredibly, so had their game...they played together, they played smart, they played hard...glory be, they played defense! Steve moved the ball up the court with assurance rather than bravado...Yao set up in the low block with authority, and he seemed a good 20 pounds heavier, as was painfully obvious to Kevin Willis who was trying to trying to guard him...I'll say this for Kevin, he was in great shape for an septagenerian...Anyways, Yao was sporting a goatee, and his hair is longer and sort of shaggy looking, but he plays like The Man! Straight into the post, leans into the defender, arm extends as if in royal command...and the ball comes in. It was beautiful...Steve wasn't quite as explosive as he is now, but had clearly mastered the position, so no more sg threads, people... The real wonder, though, was Eddie Griffin. Gone was the gangly wallflower we are so used to seeing; this was a man playing the game. He bodied up on defense without a thought, and played on and off his man in a confusing but amazingly effective display of keeping your man off balance. He was going up against Amare Stoudamire, who still outmuscled Eddie by a bit, but Eddie's combination of flash and bash had Amare's head spinning. Speaking of spinning, the shooting guard was someone I've never seen before, and wasn't the shooter Mobley is, but more of a pass and defend type...long and lean, and he had an excellent spin to the basket move, but clanked a few shots while I was 'watching'...The small forward spot of the future looks to be a bit of a rotation between T-Mo as the all arounder and some reed thin spot up shooter with weird hair. I was feeling a bit confused, needless to say, but I felt a little reassured that I hadn't lost all my marbles or sense of reality when the focus of the scene shifted to the bench, and there, occupying the end farthest from the coach, was none other than Bostjan Nachbar...and I can tell you it was a relief to see such a farmiliar sight. What with Steve the floor general, Yao the commanding leader, and the new players, it was comforting to know that a decade or so from now, some things will still be the same.... And it have been at least a decade into the future I was seeing, judging from all the banners I saw hanging from the ceiling... Speaking of the bench, that was apparently The Cat now made his home, although it looked like he had graciously adapted to the role, and the crowd cheered every time he pulled off the warmups to come into the game for instant offense. Oh...yeah...the uniforms...Hehe heh..actually I think I'll keep that much a secret, but all I can say is that you guys will be surprised... I was starting to feel a bit dizzy by now, and as if in response the mirror shifted focus again, and it was ith some regret that I lost sight of the game...I tried in vain to peer back into the future, and was strating to berate myself for not having paid closer attention when, to my amazement, i was looking at teh screen page for Clutch City! The Headline read " Rox Rip Hamilton's Pistons..and the subheadline read " Yao scores 30, Anserson (!?) gets 5 steals in Rockets 12th consecutive victory at home...Boki still nursing stubbed toe, expected to miss 3-4 more weeks" And there was no keyboard...no mouse...apparently it was done by words, for as I muttered BBS, lo and behold the 'screen' blinked, and i was looking at some sort of combination chat and BBS site..and before I had a second to gather my senses, i was being 'paged'..I responded to the flashing screen icon in the corner by saying open ( lucky guess) and who do you think was addressing me, but HeyPartner, who immediately asked me if I was some guy named Yogi, and told me that if I was indeed this individual, I was till banned, and he would get to the bottom of things soon! But rather than leave me on that ominous albeit confusing note, HP added " But either way, don't forget to come to the 16th annual SmeggySmeg Bar-B-Que next Sunday!" before he was gone... I quickly surfed though the 'threads', and saw some things had indeed changed, for example there were threads entitled " Does Yao Need To Take Every Shot?" ..." We Love Eddie !" ...and my favorite, " Can Steve Create His Won Shot?"...and some things hadn't seemed to alter much...There was a thread started by Clutch...actually it was a "Sticky" with something like 17,ooo hits...which was called simply " The Boki Conspiracy."...there was a thread bemoaning the back up point guard, and waxing nostalgic about the days gone by when the Rockets had, and I quote, " a real floor general to take over when Steve had to sit." and I was amazed to find that the subject of this particular bit of revisionist history was Moochie Norris...But I 'clicked' on to accompanying "info" texts which are apparently a feature of the futre, and learned that the Norris nostalgia was perhaps more understandable considering that the day in question was the 11th year anniversary of Moochie's untimely demise in some sort of freak afro-inspired attack fo angry fans yelling unplesantries while trying to dribble the unfortunate Mr. Norris up and down on the parking lot before local police showed up and joined in... Anyways, enough of th sad stuff...the good news is that this team is going placed folks, make no mistake. I had just read a post in the Hangout part of the BBS ( Something about Manny's on-again off again love affair with someone...That's it Manny, you've got stamina, buddy!) when the whole thing blurred and accompanied by what seemed like the roar of fans chanting " Six-peat!" I felt myself falling backwards until, with a start and a shiver of cold, I found myself back in the garage, looking at my stupified face blinking back at me... Now I can't swear that this happened for sure...I had been up drinking all night with the roomies last night , and who knows?...and stranger still, when I finshed heaving the snow away from the front steps and went back to replace the shovel in the garage, I looked deep into the maze of furniture etc. and could see nothing which resembled a backboard or a mirror, let alone both...but I can't help remembering everything that I saw...Yao the Emperor in full command...Steve the Consumate Floor General...and those banners and the unifroms in shiney...whoops! Almost gave it away there....but if I imagined the whole thing I'm not going to say anything about uniforms that will never be, and if I haven't, I'll keep this little bit of the glorious days of Rockets Red Glare to myself... ......yes, that was a hint..... Peace JAG
hmmm, perhaps you aren't so out of your element when not bashing the US . excellent post. however, go back and read your own post with Figaro's Aria playing in the background, it'll make you even more hyped. seriously, the song ended in about the middle of the post and things stopped seeming so great. start the song back up, things are great again. try it.
If you feel the need to take shots at me, I think that "A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." would be the way to go...
