I have a dream

I have a dream.

No, not that dream. I don't know when I'll get a chance to meet Katie Holmes, and Reese Witherspoon is married.

No, this dream involves the arrival of a certain 7'5 center from China. A center that will, barring a Ralph Sampson-like mishap, solidify the 5 position for the Rockets for years to come. That's right, gentlemen, I don't know if anyone has scooped this yet on this site, but the Rockets are welcoming a new addition into their fold on Monday...an addition by the name of Yao Ming.

He's got all the skills. He's saavy, he's quick for his size, he's almost automatic from the line, he's got good rebounding instincts, he sees the floor well, he can nail the three, and if he changes his mind about that three it's only two relatively short steps for him to get to the basket.

What have we done to deserve such fortune? Well, we endured one of the most frustrating, injury-plagued seasons in recent memory. This could be seen as our reward for time served. If that were the case, though, Cavs fans would have something to say to us. Maybe LeBron James is their reward. Whatever. The fact is noone cares how we became so lucky. We defied the odds by having such a miserable season last year, then we defied the odds by claiming the number one pick, then we busted our butts to make Yao's transition into the NBA as smooth as possible...and so far it's working. Great. Goody for us.

Now, how do we get this 7'5" Godsend to mesh into an already talented (when healthy) ballclub that, without him, could very easily make the playoffs and present a very formidable first round opponent for any team in the West? Well, that's where my dream comes in.

When I close my eyes and enter into that happy land of promise and the future that could well be, I'm instantly taken to that first game in Indianapolis. The buzz is in the air. The Pacer fans are eagerly anticipating what they believe is a promising season on the horizon. And the first obstacle in their way is that 7'5" freak of nature they've all been hearing about for the last three months. Who is this guy? Who does he think he is? Does he think he's going to just waltz in here and dominate in his first NBA game? I don't think so, they'll say. I think our beloved Pacers will have a thing or two to say about that. And they would be right.

In my dream, you see, the Pacers make a strong statement about just how overrated Yao Ming is, and how noone just comes into the league from the other side of the world and immediately dominates. That just doesn't happen. I don't know what this guy was thinking, but the Pacers will have a rude awakening for him. In my dream, every time Yao touches the ball, there's a Pacer right up in his face. Sometimes two Pacers, just to make a point. They stifle him with their tenacious defense, they get right up in his grill. Each time, without fail, he's forced to pass the ball off...sometimes to a cutting Francis or Mobley, sometimes to Glen Rice outside the arch. When he gets the ball down low, he can't hold it for too long before he's smothered by that aggressive Pacer defense...man they look good!...and he has to pass it off. There's no way this guy just comes in here and shows off that shooting touch we've heard so much about. On offense, they take it right at him. Drive after drive they take it straight to the hole, trying to draw the foul. Welcome to the NBA, they'll say, as Yao draws another foul. And they'll keep driving it in, sometimes even passing up an easy pass for a wide open jumper on the side. Better to get the big guy in foul trouble so we can stop worrying about him, they'll say. Brilliant! Ming won't stand a chance. They'll fill up the twenty or so minutes that Yao's in the game trying their hardest to show him up.

And they'll succeed.

My dream continues with the Stuart Scott talking about Yao's embarrassing NBA debut on SportCenter later that evening. A rough night for the big fella, he'll say. Look at the Pacers in these highlights, playa-hatin' all night long. No, no, Mr. Ming. You're going to have to do better than that, he'll say.

Oh, by the way, the Rockets end up winning the game 107 to 83.

My dream continues. More of the same for the first month or so. Ming being humiliated on the court, having to settle for 8, 9, 12 assists a game. Grabbing some boards here and there, maybe making some wide open outside shots from time to time. Lucky for him, they'll say, he plays on such an incredibly talented team that can carry 300lbs of dead weight like that...a team that is off to one of the fastest starts in franchise history. Too bad we can't show you too many highlights, though, all they seem to want to do is pass the ball around. Open jumpers, wide open layups and second-chance put-ins. Not very good for the highlight reel, but I guess they get the job done. Too bad the Ming kid didn't work out. I guess he'll be a project for a while.

I usually wake up in a cold sweat after that.

My God! What if it's true! What if he's a bust and doesn't score 20 points a game, grab 15 boards, and put up 6 blocks on a nightly basis? What if he brings a, gasp, team mentality to the game and we start winning in such an obviously embarrassing fasion?

I just don't know if I could take that kind of humiliation.



What do you guys think? Trade him now? Or try and develop him as fast as we can, building up his upper body to the point where he can start throwing down vicious, in your face dunks every play? We're going to have to teach him the NBA game as fast as we can. We can't have this passing nonsense, that's no way to win in the NBA. He's got to be banging it down low, trying to draw the foul every play. He can't be taking outside shots! That's crazy talk! We're going to have to make this boy into a man!

I mean, what would Stuart Scott say?





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