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I F'ed up probably the best thing that has ever happened to me

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by HOOP-T, May 28, 2003.

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  1. A-Train

    A-Train Member

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    Man, if you're going to counselling BEFORE you get married, it's going to be a bumpy ride...
     
  2. HOOP-T

    HOOP-T Member

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    If you'd taken the time to read, you'd know the fight was not at all about broken glass. First off, the glasses did not break. Second, the glass was not the issue.

    It was a respect issue, and of course the fact that she tried to deliberately tried to anger me played a heavy role as well.
     
  3. HOOP-T

    HOOP-T Member

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    I strongly disagree. That's the problem with the image that counseling has. Everyone assumes counseling = relationship troubles and woes. It doesn't always have to. While we have had some issues, we have both admitted and realized that what happened Monday is indeed due to a lack of effective communication skills mainly, but also about respect for each other. We can handle the respect issue. But we need help with the communication. I know so many couples, married or not, that go to counseling merely for the acquisition of better knowledge and tools to be able to effectively communicate. My parents have gone on and off for years, and they have been married for 40 years.

    I can honestly say, and so can they, that the guidance and tools they received through counseling had a huge impact on how they dealt with each other on a daily basis. It improved their quality of life together, even if it wasn't bad before.

    I'd rather go now, before we get married, armed with a better know-how than wait until we are already married.

    Do I want to be right when we argue, or do I want to be happy? The answer is simple - I want to be happy. but I've been trying to be right. We just need to learn how to avoid wanting and trying to be right all the time. More difficult than it sounds I think.
     
    #63 HOOP-T, May 29, 2003
    Last edited: May 29, 2003
  4. Surfguy

    Surfguy Member

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    So, you want to be happy and be wrong even though your right...or something :confused: .

    LOL
     
  5. coma

    coma Member

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    I agree with counseling.

    If I ever fall into the marriage trap, I will insist on counseling to work on establishing a healthy line of communication. This of course after she signs a pre-nup.
     
  6. HOOP-T

    HOOP-T Member

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    Exactly. I think. :(
     
  7. DaDakota

    DaDakota Balance wins
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    My grandfather always used to say this:

    "When it comes to your grandmother, I don't understand right and wrong, only quiet."

    I have never heard anything so wise in my entire life.

    DD

    PS. You do not have hand, she has you by the shorties.
     

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